Authors Note:Okay so this is my lovely story, the first I've ever put up on this site XP anyway I'm very excited to finally have something up and I hope you all like it.

So this is an AkuRoku that I worte mostly at 3am, but apparently it turned out wonderfull

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters sadly the belong to Square Enix and not myself, but the story is mine, it grew up in the wonderfully horrific place I call my mind XP

"Hello Axel" Zexion said opening the door to his office "You're earlier than usual" he stepped aside to admit the redhead. It's like this every year. Axel just seems so broken on this day, and I can't help him.

I fallow him inside and sit down next to him on the sofa. I wish it was different. I wish he wasn't hurting "It's getting worse" Axel whispers clasping his hands together in his lap. I reach over and set mine on top of his own. He doesn't look at me.

Zexion nods taking a seat his eyes glued to Axel "Tell me about it" he tells him in a monotone voice. Sometimes I wish he would show some form of emotion.

I watch Axel closely as he closes his eyes, and nods "It starts out like all the others. We're together at the carnival just like the night of our first date. He was happy that I brought him there. Everything was going so well, and then the next thing I know we're arguing. We're on the fairs wheel, and he's standing. Just as I'm about to tell him to sit down, the ride jerks to a stop, and he's too close to the edge…." he stops himself, his voice cracks "He falls over the side, and I'm too late to save him" he leans back into the sofa cushions opening his eyes and looking to the ceiling. I see the tears as the start to fall, and I know I can't whip them nods scribbling something in his notebook "I see" he says looking back up at Axel "And what were you feeling? Tell me all the emotions that ran through your mind at that time" he instructed. I frown at him, though he doesn't notice. Shouldn't he know what Axel was feeling?

"Sad, scared, shocked…..helpless" Axel explains looking back at the slate haired man "I couldn't help him and it was my fault he fell…I feel like it's my fault he's gone. It's all my fault and I hate myself for it" Axel is crying by this point. How could he think it was his fault? It was an accident. A horrible accident, that no one had anyway of preventing.

"It wasn't your fault" I whisper reaching out to him. He doesn't look at me "It wasn't anyone's fault, Axel. It was an accident, and you are not to blame" I tell him a tear slipping down my own cheek.

"I miss him" he cries. My heart breaks even more.

"Don't" I know this is pointless, but I can't help it "I'm right here"

"He'd probably hate me now"

"I love you"

Axel's shoulders shake with sobs, and I want to hug him "Everything about him. I miss it all. His smile, his shinning blue eyes….even his sent. The way his whole expression would light up whenever he was happy" he cried burrying his face in his hands. I can't stand to see him cry like this. He should never cry "Sometimes I feel like he's still here"

"I am here Axel" I tell him, I know if he could see me he'd see the sadness I feel through my eyes "I always have been" I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I look up to see Xion.

"He can't hear you Roxas" she tells me sitting down next to me "Why do you saty? Why would you want to put yourself through this pain?" she asks me, and I don't know.

I shrug looking back to Axel "Maybe so I know he's not the only one suffering. Maybe it's a way to punish myself for putting him through this"

Xion watches me, I can feel her gaze on the back of my head "Roxas you can't stay here" he tells me, I nod "You have to move on. You know by staying near you're only hurting him more. He can tell you're here, and by subconsciously knowing that he can't move on and get better" I nod again, I know I have to go, but I don't know if I'm able to.

"Xion"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know if I can" I finally look back at her. I look into her eyes and see the same sadness I feel. Did she feel the same way I do now when she first moved on? Was it hard for her to leave us behind?

"I know it's hard Rox, and I'm sue it's harder for you, but you have to. When I moved on I knew you guys had each other…you weren't alone, but now it's hard, because he doesn't have either of us anymore. Before I didn't have to worry about him, but now…" she looks over at Axel's weeping form "I'm sorry Rox"

I look back at Axel, my love. It's hard, really hard, but I know what I need to do. I move to kneel in front of Axel. I try and try to make him see me, but it's no use. Why would he ever be able to? I'm dead after all. Turning away from him I stand with a sad sigh "I'm ready Xion" I tell her, though I know she knows I'm lying.

Giving Axel one more look I'm heart broken to know this is my fault. Closing my eyes I lean down and kiss the top of his head "I'm so sorry Axel. I with I could have helped you rather than hurting you" I say…with these words spoken I leave. It's for the best that I'm gone. Maybe with out me there Axel can heal…maybe he'll find some one new to mend the wounds I've left. I'm no longer there…If it's such a good thing, then why do I feel so terrible?