A/N: The last of my HSM oneshots. All I'm going to say is that this went in a totally different direction than what it was going to be originally. Um, Enjoy! R&R! Thanks. –Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own HSM.
Quiet Drive
Her eyes stayed focused, watching the scenery pass outside the window of the car. Her hands wrung together in her lap, sometimes playing with the hem of her black dress, sometimes reaching up to tuck a stray curl behind her ear. She hadn't said a word since she got into the passenger seat. She didn't think she could manage it.
As he drove down the road, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He constantly checked on her as they moved along. He was looking at her as if she could break at any moment. It made her feel fragile and vulnerable, but she realized that maybe that's exactly what she was. He didn't speak either, fearing he would say something to upset her. She had been through too much lately and if silence was what she wanted then silence he would give her.
She finally was able to pull her eyes away from the window. She hung her head and watched as she twisted her fingers together. As he came to a stoplight, he turned to view her more fully. He observed her shoulders shaking lightly and knew she was crying again. Unable to do much from the driver's seat, he comforted her as best as he could. He reached one hand over, pulled one of her hands into his and stroked it with his thumb softly. She looked up and met his eyes. She offered a weak smile that faltered after a moment, before looking away again. To show him that she appreciated the gesture, she gave his hand a light squeeze and let him keep his fingers laced with hers.
He knew that there wasn't anything to cheer her up, not yet. She wasn't done grieving. He would admit in a second that he was hurting over this as well—they all were—he just knew that for her he had to be strong. After all, she had been hit harder by it. Keeping a tight hold on her hand, he pulled forward as the light changed green.
She felt terrible for not being able to react in her usual manner when it came to him. She loved him and she felt so selfish for not being able to really acknowledge what he was trying to do for her or that he was affected by what happened too. After all he had been her friend too. He, like the rest of them, was hurting too. She was having a hard time feeling anything but her own pain at the moment. She was just sorry that she couldn't even manage to try and comfort him when all he had been doing since the day began was take care of her. She was grateful; she wouldn't have been able to make it through that day if she didn't have him by her side—holding her hand, holding her close, wiping away her tears, telling her everything would be okay even though they both knew nothing would be the same.
He parked the car in the first available parking stall he came to. He turned to her and watched her quietly for a moment. Her shoulders still shook with her silent tears. He took a deep breath to settle and collected himself. He had to worry about her, not himself. He needed to be strong for her more now than he had even come close to on the drive over.
"Gabby, we're here." He whispered, speaking for the first time since she got in the car. She only nodded in response and he got out of the car and walked around to help her out.
He opened her door and she took his hand to step out. Once she was out of the car, he gathered her into his arms and hugged her tightly. After a moment, her arms wound their way around him. She clutched at his back as she began to cry even harder.
"Shh, Gabby." He murmured. "We can get through this."
When she finally pulled away she gave him a soft kiss on the lips, "Thank you Troy, for everything you've done today. God, I've cried so much and it hasn't even started yet."
"It'll be okay. I'm here for you, remember that." Troy took her hand as they started walking up the hill.
"Good, cause I'm going to need you." Gabriella sighed, squeezing his hand tighter as they approached the graveside. "God, there are so many people."
"She was loved." Troy stated simply.
"How am I supposed to speak in front of all of them? I can't even stop crying." Gabriella panicked, "You know how I get in front of crowds."
"You'll do fine." Troy assured her. "You're up after Ryan and I'm right after you."
"Troy, she's gone, and my heart hurts for our friend. I just…I can't remember what I wanted to say."
"You were her closest friend. You'll do fine." Troy repeated. "You knew her better than any of us."
"I can't believe her parents asked all of us to say something." Gabriella shook her head and tried in vain to wipe her tears away. "What were they thinking?"
"They were thinking that there was no better way to honor their daughters passing than by hearing from the people who cherished her most: her friends." Troy said firmly. "We can do this, you can do this. For her?"
"For her." Gabriella nodded.
They navigated their way through the sea of black and found their places near the front. After offering their condolences to her parents, they took their seats next to their friends. Gabriella's tears had dried up fro the moment, as she looked upon the flower covered casket in front of her. She felt Troy squeeze her hand again and this time the comfort he was trying to provide actually eased her nerves. She knew what she was going to say for her friend.
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"You can shed tears that she is gone,
Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she's gone,
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
Be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what she'd want;
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
-David Harkins."
Ryan read aloud from the wrinkled piece of paper he held at the podium, "My sister was always a star. Anyone who knew her could tell you that. She lived every second of every day trying to make a name for herself. Always trying to do something she'd be remembered for.
"I don't find it tragic, as some people would, that she will be remembered not for the big things she did, but for the small. She never got to see her name up in lights, her face never graced the silver screen, and we never got to hear her voice on the radio. She never got to achieve those big dreams of hers. But she did live her life to the fullest. She loved everyday as if it were her last; she loved her friends and family with all her heart. She did have her selfish moments, but as time went on they would pale in comparison to her selfless moments. She was a success because she was loved and she was happy. I couldn't have asked for a better life for my sister.
"She was a star, and she was destined to be remembered. She was destined to be remembered by us: the people who loved her most."
As Ryan stepped down, Gabriella took a deep breath. Troy offered her one more encouraging smile before she took to the podium. She looked out at the people in front of her, taking in tears and sad smiles. She took one more breath and began.
"I didn't think I would be able to stand up here and speak today—not from the moment I was asked to speak with the rest of Sharpay's friends. I was so broken by the news of her death, I thought I would be so incoherently numb that I wouldn't be able to get a word out, but here I am. And I've gotten quite a few words out and none of them have said anything about Sharpay.
"People keep telling me that I knew her better than anyone. I don't know if that's true or not, but I'll tell you what I do know. There are so many things about this service that she would hate. First of all, she wouldn't want anyone to be wearing black. If she had it her way we'd all be wearing hot pink, right down to a hat on Ryan's head." Gabriella broke a small smile and earned a few laughs from Sharpay's section of friends. "On that note, she would love the flowers.
"She would hate that everyone is so sad. I know, we've all lost someone and we're all going to be sad about it. I believe she would want us to be happy—not that she was gone, but that we actually got to experience something together. She spent so much time trying to make everyone happy…spreading joy. I think she would hate for life to end with so much sadness. So for her, I will celebrate my memories of her.
"We had some rough times in the beginning. We didn't like each other much at first—for good reason though. It started with Troy and me stealing the winter musicale from her and Ryan and it grew with her trying to steal Troy from me. Someone might ask how I could dredge up all these bad memories at her funeral. How could I? Well, I can because we were so far past them. Have you ever heard the saying, 'someday you'll look back on this and laugh'? Well, we were laughing.
"All the trouble we had, all the bumps in the road…they made our friendship stronger. I will never regret any of the bad times, because they made the good times so much better. I will miss her terribly, and I will never forget her. Maybe now I can stop mourning her."
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"I was close to Sharpay because Gabriella was close to Sharpay. I know more things about her than I should, from hearing them whispered back and forth between her and Gabriella." Troy spoke clearly. "Personally though, I know that there were rare moments when a person was allowed to see the real Sharpay. The girl behind the glitter and the glamour. I was so lucky, as were the eight other people sitting up here. We were asked to speak for a reason. We knew her in a way most other people didn't. Whether we were closer to her or farther from her. We saw something genuine in her.
"I will always be grateful to her for the friendship she gave Gabby. But I am also grateful to have had Sharpay as a friend myself. I didn't get to talk to her much, or see her much, but when I did she was more of friend than you could imagine."
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"I dated Sharpay for about a year before we finished high school, before we started college. Before we decided it would be better to be friends when we parted ways for school. Most people couldn't understand how I, the-lovable-baking-basketball-player could stand dating the ice queen of East High. I could say something dramatic and romantic about how 'you can't help who you love' or 'my heart beat only for her.' That's not true. I knew why I cared about her, it was very simple." Zeke said it with a smile on his face. "I cared, just like all of her friends cared, for the par of her most people didn't see.
"Sharpay was a great actress, and if she had gotten the chance, I don't doubt she would have ended up on stage accepting an Academy Award someday. She was able to make everyone believe the part she played on the exterior. The reason we were able to be friends with her, the reason I was able to fall in love with her, was that she couldn't fool us.
"She had a spirit about her that livened everyone's day and I'm glad I had her in my life. I loved her then, and a part of me still loves her now. I could say I wish we had stayed together back then, but I refuse to regret it. Because having her as a friend was more than I could have ever wished for."
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Taylor stood at the podium, her speech written out on little note cards in front of her, "There are so many things I could say about Sharpay. But what I want to say most is that I wish I had been closer to her. I mean we were all friends but Sharpay and I never were very close. She had Ryan for all her problems, Gabby for all the girls stuff, and Zeke for anything left over from the other two. She had her go-to people, the people she got really close to, and I had mine. We just weren't those people for each other. And that was alright. We had our moments when we talked and dished, but having heard some of the wonderful things other people have said about her recently…I really wish I could have gotten to know her better personally."
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"Sharpay represented different things for each of us. I would never claim to have had the same relationship with her that Gabriella or Troy or Ryan or anyone had with her. To be honest with you I don't know what to call the relationship we had." Chad chuckled to himself before he continued, "But I remember a time when she was there for me, because I needed someone and she was available. It didn't matter that we weren't close, she was my friend and in a time of need she was there, no questions asked.
"She was of course my last resort. It was the summer after our high school graduation. Troy and Gabby were off scoping for an apartment near their college campus. Zeke was on vacation with his family. Jason had just left for a film-making program. Kelsi had secluded herself with her piano to write without interruption for a week. And Ryan and Martha were off at a summer performing arts program. I had the biggest fight with Taylor, only a month before we were supposed to go away to college together, and the only one to talk to was Sharpay.
"When I needed a woman's opinion on things, I usually went to Gabby, who was guaranteed to sugarcoat the situation. Without Gabby's soft and sweet tendencies, Sharpay was able to say—bluntly I might add—that I needed to stop being stupid and fix it. It took a little while to pound the idea into my thick, stubborn skull, but she eventually drove the point home. I owe her so much for that one moment, because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have my wife today."
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"There were things about Sharpay that some people didn't like. But the things they did like, they loved. She may have been selfish and narcissistic, but there was one thing she wasn't: insecure. She was confident in her skin, sometimes to the point of arrogance, but she was able to light up the room with her certainty in herself."
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Kelsi walked up to the podium slowly as she took her turn at the microphone, "She was an inspiration to many people. She was talented and brilliant. She was the one person I have ever known that could take a sad song, add a few jazz squares and pirouettes, spice up the arrangement and still spark joy in the hearts of her audience."
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"I guess I'm wrapping it up." Martha replied as she stood behind the podium and microphone. "I remember a time right before our Senior Prom. All of us girls had gone dress shopping. We were in the dressing room trying on as many dresses as we could—and of course Sharpay looked fabulous in everything. I couldn't tell you what started it, but we somehow ended up laughing hysterically. I just know that memory is one of my best with Sharpay and the other girls.
"People might say that it is too insignificant for it to be my best memory. But that's the point I'm trying to make. Sharpay was the kind of person who could give life to the most mundane of moments. It's sad that her life was cut short and she will be missed. But I'm sure I speak for everyone here, when I say that there is no doubt that she will live on in our hearts. Thank you."
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Troy helped Gabriella into the car after the ceremony before getting behind the wheel. After a couple of blocks of silence Troy prepared himself for another quiet drive across town. He was surprised, then, when Gabriella began to speak openly. It was as if she was her usual self—only with a sort of sadness in her eyes. No tears this time, though, Troy was thankful. He hated seeing her that hurt, especially when he could do nothing about it.
"It feels so final." Gabriella murmured.
"I guess that's kind of what it is." Troy responded. "Finalization, closure."
Gabriella sighed, "It's not fair."
"No it's not." Troy agreed. "We just have to make the most of what we have left of her and move on. It's what she'd want. We have to do it for her."
"For her." Gabriella repeated.
For her.
A/N2: I know, I know! I killed Sharpay. Really though, this went in a totally different direction that it was supposed to. It started as a short oneshot that would have ended before the funeral. And I never would have said who it was who had died. It was going to be more of a Troyella Hurt/Comfort story (Troy comforting Gabriella through her grief). But then somehow it became this like a Sharpay introspective from each characters POV. Oh, and the only unlabeled speech was by Jason if you didn't already figure that out. Okay, R&R! –Mac