A/N: I still haven't seen every single Penguins of Madagascar episode, so please excuse me if anyone seems ooc or if I get the mannerisms wrong.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Penguins of Madagascar and make NO money off this fic.
Though the show has long since ended, it still belongs to Nickelodeon, and as the spinoff of the Madagascar franchise, it also belongs to Dreamworks studios. Specifically, the canon characters and episode plots belong to Tom McGrath and Eric Darnell. I own NOTHING except my OC's which will be introduced at a later time.
With that said, on to (revised) chapter 1!
Location: Central Park Zoo, Vet's Office. Time: 1545 (3:45 P.M)
Dr. George Konda looked up from his files as Alice stormed into the office with the requested patient held firmly in her hands. He resisted the urge to frown when the grouchy zookeeper literally dropped the poor animal onto the examination table.
"Any others you want me to fetch doc?" She demanded with impatience.
Dr. Konda shook his head, "Don't fret yourself Alice, this one is all I need." He assured with what he hoped passed as a patient smile. With this woman, any kindness directed towards her had to be forced…
Alice scowled, "Are you sure? I don't want you bugging me thirty minutes from now asking for another 'patient'. I've got stuff to do."
This time the vet couldn't help the eye roll that followed her claim, "Yes Alice I assure you this is the only animal I need. In fact, I'll put her back myself if you are indeed drowning in work as you hint to be."
Alice frowned at the doctor's snark, to which he met her gaze with a teasing smirk.
"Fine." She turned to leave only to stop. She may not be too crazy about these animals, but sometimes her curiosity got the best of her, and in this moment, she couldn't help but wonder what the purpose of this visit was.
As far as Alice knew, the little monster wasn't due for a physical, and by what she could tell, it certainly didn't look sick or injured.
"So…can I at least know why you needed to see this particular animal?" Alice turned and crossed her arms, "It's not sick or anything is it? I was carrying it with my bare hands…"
"You're fine Alice." By now Dr. Konda already had the small animal in his hold and was running his hand down its trembling back.
"There, there little one, it's alright." He cooed softly, making Alice roll her eyes at the sickening tenderness.
Once he was satisfied that the critter had calmed down somewhat, he replied, "To answer your question, the reason why I asked for this specific patient, is because I believe that she is ready to start mating."
Still holding the animal in question, he moved to a cabinet and pulled out a small blanket and placed it on the examination table. "Obviously," he continued, "she's well into her breeding age, but as a first timer I suppose she held off on producing offspring until she was ready…which seems to be now.
Alice didn't even bother hiding her look of disgust, "Now?
"No not at this very moment." Dr. Konda assured, exasperated, "I mean it could happen any day." He placed the patient on the table and rubbed his fingers on her tiny head, "And it's because it can happen at any moment, I want to be absolutely sure she is healthy before she chooses a mate and starts a family. The last thing we want is for something to happen to her first offspring all because she wasn't in the best health."
The redheaded zookeeper scoffed, "I can't believe you're actually hoping for more of those." She jerked her head to the nervous critter, "I mean, the rest are already a handful, and you want another one?"
By now Alice was looking at the vet like he lost his mind.
Dr. Konda shrugged, "They're feisty yes, but I think an infant may help calm them down." He didn't miss how the small female shivered after the statement.
"No need to fret little one. I know how well you get along with your little friends, and I'm sure one of them would love to have a pretty little thing like you as a mate." He gave the female another reassuring rub on the back.
"Well alright…don't say I didn't warn ya." Alice turned to leave.
"Before you go, can you send Shawna in? I could use her help. " Dr. Konda requested, while fitting a stethoscope into his ears and then leaning down to listen to the tiny heartbeat.
Alice gave a mock salute and sauntered out the door.
"Hey Barbie! The Doc wants ya!" she called out to the right as she left the examination room.
A second later, the blond intern stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her.
The moment she caught sight of who the patient was, she shied back slightly, "…hey little guy…" she greeted timidly.
The fright she had received from the 'little guy' was fairly fresh in her mind, and she still wasn't sure if this particular animal was even safe to be around.
"Actually," Dr. Konda started as he straightened up and removed the stethoscope, "this 'little guy' is in fact a female."
Shawna blinked, "Really?" she stepped forward, her nerves forgotten. What were the chances anything would happen with the doctor present?
Dr. Konda nodded, "Indeed, and if this checkup goes well, she'll be set to finally chose a mate and become a mother." He smiled down at the avian sitting on the table.
"Awww, that's so cute!" Shawna gushed as she reached out to pet the black and white bird. "Is she going to go for a temporary transfer, or are you going to have her…you know…with them." She jerked her thumb out the window in the direction of a certain habitat.
Her supervisor shook his head, "Oh no, there's no need for a transfer. She'll definitely be mating with one of the males we have here." He paused in thought, "Of course there is the possibility that nothing happens, then yes, in that case a breeding transfer may be in order."
Shawna was silent for a moment.
She really didn't like the male penguins stationed at this zoo, and she wasn't crazy about the thought of one of them fathering a cute little penguin that could possibly turn out just as aggressive as its daddy.
But then again…this was a cute little fuzz ball they were talking about…
"Well…I guess it would be fun to see some little baby penguins around here." Shawna admitted.
The more she thought of it, the more she liked the idea of a tiny penguin waddling around its exhibit. She beamed in excitement.
Dr. Konda chuckled, "That's the spirit! Now, if you would be so kind as to take down some notes while I perform the exam."
Shawna nodded and the two medics got to work.
Private
Private couldn't believe this was happening...
After keeping her gender a secret for so long, it seemed like it was finally going to be revealed.
And the truly frightening part?
There was no avoiding it. One way or another, her comrades were going to find out he was actually a she, and there was nothing she could do about it.
If the humans didn't blab it out loud for the team to hear, then her undoing would probably be by her own flipper…unintentionally of course, giving that her animal instincts were taking hold and certain urges were becoming increasingly overwhelming.
What a rotten situation to find oneself in…
The young penguin sighed as the vets continued to check her over.
'And here I thought I dodged a bullet back with the mixup with K'walski's DNA contraption.' She mused, thinking back to when she and the rest of the team discovered that there was a female amongst them.
This was no thanks to Alice opening her big yap, or to the human boy that brought up the issue in the first place.
Private really hated putting blame on children, no matter the species, but to be fair, if the human child had never brought up genders to begin with, no one would have questioned anyone that day, and there would have been no reason for Kowalski to build that analyzer.
A shudder ran down Private's spine as the image of the DNA machine came to mind.
She had never been so terrified in her life.
A machine that can tell genders apart just from a bit of DNA? From spit?
Yeah, Private would have gladly passed on that one…had the testing not been mandatory.
For the boys, it had to be done only to prove to each other that they were all 'male'. They were already anticipating what they already knew about themselves.
Private however, was anticipating her big reveal.
She was frantically thinking of what to say, what to do…her tiny heart pounding so hard, she was surprised it didn't burst out of her chest.
But then, by some miracle, she was marked as 'male'.
She wasn't sure if the error was just pure luck, or if some deity took pity on her and worked things in her favor. Whatever the reason, she was beyond overjoyed by the fault; so much so that she let out a suspiciously high pitch 'yay' as she fell back onto the floor.
Luckily, none of the males were paying her any mind. They were all too preoccupied awaiting their own results.
Rico and Kowalski's results held no surprises by coming out as male.
Skipper on the other hand…well, his result was enough to convince him that he was the female, and even went as far as to wear a bow and 'act' like a girl, despite Kowalski's insistence that the machine had made an error and there was no way Skipper could be a female.
After retaking the test by himself, Skipper's result came back marking him as male, and everyone just chalked up the incident as a miscalculation Kowalski overlooked while building the machine.
Well everyone except Private.
She knew what happened…or at least had a haunch of what happened.
During the first test, the four penguins had put in their spit samples at the same time, giving the machine more to sort through. It had read the DNA and knew that there were three males and one female. It just didn't know to whom the samples belonged.
Somehow, the machine got her results mixed up with Skipper's and had given them each other's marks.
When Skipper took the test alone, the machine had no problem reading his gender and was able to correctly mark down his sex.
Instead of having everyone redo the test as well, Skipper just assumed that Private, Kowalski and Rico's results were correct, and with his newly corrected test, the Captain came to the conclusion that the four of them were male, and the humans just didn't know what they were talking about.
Kowalski continued to assure that the first result was a malfunction with the machine, and everyone readily agreed. No further questions and that was that.
At least it was for the males.
In Private's heart, she knew that the machine was never wrong.
Three males and one female. Just like Alice said.
But of course, Private was never going to admit that. She was going to enjoy this victory for as long as she could.
Little did she know that this victory would be short lived, and a new, more persistent issue would raise its ugly head.
As of recently, Private had been having some rather…strong urges that seemed to be getting harder to resist as the days went by.
An example would be the time Kowalski blared penguin mating calls in the direction of the lemur habitat one night…
It had taken the poor female every ounce of strength to keep herself under control and to resist giving out her own reply call. Even seeing Rico's playful tease towards Kowalski sent jolts of excitement through her body.
It was like her mind was at war with itself. Her primal side, seemed to scream, 'Look, look! A willing male! Make the call!', yet the the rational side, seemed to scream just as loud, 'No, he's just playing! He's your comrade! Don't do it!'. Luckily, the second half seemed to be the stronger of the two, and Private was able to keep herself in check for the moment.
"My you're quite the silent one today."
The sudden voice caused the penguin to jolt from her musing and she looked up at the balding vet.
"I suppose you tired yourself out last night." The man continued while looking over the information Shawna had taken over the past few moments. "Mr. Gates told me that you were out of your habitat last night at the far end of the zoo." The vet gave a small laugh, "If you're looking for a mate, it would help to be inside your habitat while giving your mating calls." He rubbed his thumb over Private's head. A somewhat soothing gesture.
None the less though, Private couldn't help but flinch when her doctor brought up last night's events.
It had been a moment of weakness.
That's all there was to it.
For some reason, Private's animal instincts had taken a strong hold, and in an act of desperation, she snuck out of headquarters, out of the habitat and had made her way to the area of the zoo that was the farthest from her flock. Luckily, said area was empty and under construction. Apparently the humans were expanding the zoo and planning to bring in new animals. Or at least that's what Private heard.
None the less, it was empty for now, and provided the perfect place to just… let loose.
And she did.
And boy did it feel good to just toss her head back and call out to no one in particular.
At least it did until the zoo security officer, who was apparently working late, heard her calls during his patrol. It didn't take him long to find the lone avian and return her to her habitat.
After last night, Private had no doubt that the officer was the one that informed the vet of her current predicament.
Private pouted at the thought of the elderly guard.
"Well, I think we're all done here." Came the doctor's voice again, "Everything shows that you are fit and ready to become a mother." The human smiled as he looked into the increasingly frightened bird's sky blue eyes, "I can't wait to see who you choose to be your mate!"
Dr. Konda may not have seen it, but Private could feel the color drain from her face.
Those words were her worst nightmare.
Well, those and the ones the doctor had said earlier, 'If nothing happens…a transfer may be in order'.
Private knew what that meant.
If the humans saw that she was refusing to mate with anyone in her flock, they would send her to another zoo and see if she would mate there.
It was either mate with a close friend or a complete stranger.
Sure she could easily refuse to mate should she be transferred, but what if the males in the other zoos were more demanding? Yeah she could probably hold her own against one male, but if there were more than one? Would she be able to take on a flock of males on her own and come out unscratched? Probably not.
So what other option did she have? Mate with one of the blokes here? Not going to happen.
Buuut…say she did decide to take the thousand foot plunge and reveal her true gender. Hypothetically speaking, say she did chose to mate with one of her team mates…who would she choose?
Kowalski would be the smart choice…if only he wasn't already infatuated with Doris. That and just being around Kowalski gave her serious self-esteem issues.
He was a very intelligent bird, and Private was….average.
True she could be clever and knowledgeable when need be, but to keep up with Kowalski and even try to match herself on his level of smarts would be near impossible, not to mention, mentally exhausting.
No; Kowalski definitely deserved someone brighter than Private. It would certainly save them both a lot of time, patience and energy if she just skipped over the genius penguin.
Next, Private's mind drifted to Rico.
Rico was an… interesting penguin… to say the least.
Yes he was good looking and all (who wouldn't find a bad boy with a Mohawk attractive?) and his regurgitating talent was very impressive, but…he was just a bit too much for a lady like Private.
He was too wild and unpredictable.
Not to mention, she and Rico weren't even all that close to begin with. If anything, it would be an awkward relationship filled with mostly one sided conversations, since Rico wasn't a big talker to begin with.
So, no. Rico would have to be another pass.
That left Skipper as the final option…
But what were the chances of him agreeing to mate with the likes of her?
Say she did want him as a mate, what would be his reasons for rejecting her advances?
Well first off, there's the fact that he's at least twelve years her senior. Second, as far as Private knew, he wasn't completely over his break up with Kitka. Finally, there was the small, little detail that he was the Captain of the squad while she was a lowly Private.
Or, none of that actually matters, because he would be far too angry over the fact that one of his soldiers lied about her true gender for nearly five years…
Private sighed and turned her gaze back to the humans.
"So how do we do this? Do we just choose one of the males at random and lock them in a cage overnight, or do we just let her choose on her own?" Shawna questioned as she picked up the female penguin and began stroking her feathers in the same manner she did when they first met. She didn't even notice the incredulous look the avian gave her.
Dr. Konda shook his head, "No, we'll let her choose her mate on her own. As it is, we can't be sure exactly when she'll be ready. It could be tomorrow. It could be next week. We have to let her do this on her own time."
Private was glad the doctor was leaving it up to her, but she still couldn't shake the feeling that the humans were going to be watching her very closely, and if she didn't take a mate within their time frame, then she just may have to make a small 'trip' to another zoo.
It was literally a lose-lose situation.
If she stayed, they would find out her secret, if she left, they would find out her secret any way.
There was no winning in this game.
'It's all over…they're going to find out no matter what." She thought, struggling to keep her tears from flowing.
She had worked so hard to make herself blend in with the guys, and though she wasn't the best 'bloke', she still managed to fit in well enough. The boys allowed her into the team, and while she wasn't the strongest of the group, she was still able to keep up with them and for once in her life, Private felt like she was part of something she could be proud of.
But now? There was a fairly good chance she would be losing it all…
Of course…there was always Uncle Nigel she could talk to…
He had known about her choice to pose as a male since day one, and even in his 'loony' state, he had coached her in perfecting the masculine voice she would be using for the time being. It was also Nigel that suggested Private use a different name other than 'Mr. Tux'.
His reasoning was that if anyone, particularly a certain Texan armadillo, happened to find out Mr. Tux's true gender and word of it got out, then it wouldn't be linked back to her.
'Mr. Tux is actually woman? You don't say! Where is she anyway? Who knows? Certainly not hiding in the Central Park Zoo penguin exhibit.'
To Private, that reasoning had made sense, and she was astounded that someone like her eccentric uncle could come up with that sort of reasoning.
When she had voiced her amazement at his cleverness, Nigel had simply smiled and taken a sip from his tea cup, looking as innocent as ever.
Of course, Private now knew better, and though she wished he would have dropped the loony uncle façade sooner, she was still grateful that he was always there to take care of her. In fact, his last words to her were, 'My home is always open to you should you need it, and if you need someone to talk to, there are ways to contact me. Fare well lass and good luck!' and with that, her old zookeeper lifted her up and away from her uncle, and within the hour, she was shipped off from the Chester Zoo.
Private furrowed her brow, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to take up her uncle on that offer...at the very least, she could get in contact and speak to him. It's not like he was unable to hold a serious conversation…
Yes, a good talk with her only known relative would do the trick.
With that thought in mind, Private turned her attention to the two humans, who were currently putting away their examination equipment. It seemed that while she was zoned out, Shawna had placed her back on the table before moving to help the doctor clean up.
Private flapped her flippers and put up an agitated act. If they were done here, she was more than ready to go.
Shawna was the first to notice the bird, "Should I take her back to the habitat or should we call in Alice?"
"If you don't mind, go ahead and take her back. Alice already made it clear that she can't be bothered." The doctor huffed at the thought of the female zookeeper.
"I don't understand why she still works here if she clearly doesn't like her job." Shawna mused as she lifted the bird and held her securely against her chest, "I've seen her treat these animals anything but kindly."
Dr. Konda nodded, "I understand your frustration, but for whatever reason, the Zoo Director insists on keeping her employed."
"It's not right." Shawna stated. Dr. Konda simply gave a 'what can you do' shrug.
Giving a defeated sigh, Shawna smiled down at the bird in her arms, "Well, I better get you back to your little rookery. I'm sure everyone's missing you!"
'I'm sure they are…' Private agreed as she thought out an excuse to tell the boys.
As the two left the animal hospital and approached HQ, Private could already make out Skipper, Kowalski and Rico standing on the artificial iceberg, all watching her with intent concern.
Luckily, since the zoo was still actively crowded, so there was no way for the trio to sneak out and eavesdrop on Private's appointment.
'Thank goodness for busy days.' Private thanked as they arrived at the enclosure.
Leaning cautiously over the fence, Shawna gently lowered Private as close to the water as she could before letting her go and allowing her to fall the rest of the way in. The intern waited until the bird's head resurfaced before smiling and giving a small wave. "Bye-bye you little cutie!" she said and then turned to weave her way through the crowd of guests and back to the vet's office.
Private meanwhile, had already hopped up onto the 'berg and was busy shaking off the cool water from her feathers. As she did so, a loud 'awww' sounded from the crowd as they watched her small, chubby form vibrate, sending droplets of water in every direction.
Humans really were easily amused.
Once she was adequately dry, it didn't take long for the rest of her flock to surround her, "Everything alright Private?" Skipper questioned while eyeing the vet's office with suspicion.
The youngest soldier nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, "Aye Skippah, everything's fine…just a small checkup is all." She forced out a cheerful smile. It wasn't exactly a lie…
Kowalski brought a flipper to his beak and furrowed his brow in thought, "That's strange… they usually group us together for those. Not to mention, we just had our yearly physical examination a couple of months ago." Rico nodded in agreement and Skipper seemed to be running the same thoughts through his head.
"Oh…well…apparently they lost my files and had to take my information again." Private fibbed, her heart starting to pound once more.
"They lost your files?" Kowalski tilted his head.
Private's legs felt weak. He didn't believe her. "Yes."
"The files they input into the computer right away…they lost them…?"
"That's what I heard 'em say. So, yes."
Kowalski looked up, the gears in his head were turning, "I suppose it is possible that they could have input your information and then forgot to save the files correctly, thus loosing this year's data on you…"
"Dr. Konda did mention a technical issue…" Private added, hoping the scientist would buy it.
"Well then I guess that does explain it then." Kowalski gave a firm nod as if to tell himself 'case closed' and prevent himself from overthinking the issue.
Skipper gave a smug smirk, "Typical humans. Always so unorganized about everything." He shrugged, "But I guess that's just mammals for ya."
Private nearly fainted with relief when the other two males voiced their agreements with the leader.
They believed her fib.
"Now," Skipper continued, "smile and wave boys, we're eating fresh fish tonight!"
As if on cue, several guests approached for penguin feeding time.
While the penguins put on their 'cute and cuddly' act, Private couldn't help but give a genuine smile. The crisis had been averted, and she was safe…for now…
'Perhaps I will make that call to Uncle Nigel later on tonight.' She thought as her eyes widened with glee at the wave of fish that came hurtling towards her and her team.
A/N: Chapter revised and expanded on: 8/25/18
So after some research, I found that it's actually the male penguins that give the mating call.
However, since the penguins in the Madagascar series don't seem to fit in with any actual, real world penguins, and seem to be a generic breed of their own, I decided to make up a fictional breed for these guys, and the best name I could come up is 'Whitefaced Penguin'.
Probably not original, but it was the best I could come up with. :p
Anywho, for 'Whitefaced Penguins', mating calls can come for both males and females. Hence why it's Private giving out the calls.