Two college students were walking back home for the weekend. On any other day, and any other time, these two would be right next to each other, making friendly conversation. However, today, there was a space between them, and intentionally so.
The boy stood a pace to the left, and half-a-pace behind the girl. A place in which his body could still protect his girlfriend from a rush of wind caused by oncoming traffic, but distant enough to keep the ache he felt bearable.
The girl kept her regular prideful gait, pretending as if she did not notice this. Not wanting to make him feel further self-conscious about it, in the hopes he would finally feel comfortable enough to tell her what it was. However, their journey was over halfway complete, and it became apparent this would get her nowhere fast.
With a quick turn on her heels she now faced her boyfriend. While he was not lost in thought, the sudden act left him nary a moment to react, as he put on the brakes to prevent a collision between the two.
"Hideri, could you please tell me what's wrong?" she asked.
"Huh, what… what do you mean Mei?" Hideri replied, "I'm just my usual self."
Mei tensed up as the desire to rail into him for telling such a bold-faced lie to her ran through her mind. She found it rather insulting that Hideri thought he could get away with this. However, she knew these feelings would get this discussion nowhere fast, so she pushed them away.
"Hideri, we've been going out for over a year now, I know when something's wrong. I see it in how you move, how you talk, how your laid back demeanor devolves into you shyly hoping no one notices you."
Hideri opened his mouth to retort, but he had no words with which to speak. He felt angry, not at her, but at himself, who could coast through most conversations with ease, but never when it truly counted.
"Promise not to be mad?" Hideri asked simply.
"I would never be mad at something I myself brought about."
"Well, with all the college opportunities out there, I have to wonder why you picked the public college?"
As if on cue, a car rushed by the two as he made the effort to open up. With that, Mei knew all she needed. However, she knew better than to try and rush the conversation along. She had to answer him honestly if she expected him to do the same.
"To be with you of course."
Hideri bit his lip, those words were like sweet honey to his ears, but also a hammer's final swing to hang his guilt on the wall forever. [Good image.]
"I'm not worth it though," he spat out.
"You're plenty worth it though," she replied smoothly, "you're the man with whom I went to Nationals last year."
"We only made it to Bronze, I was only holding everyone back!"
"Can you honestly say that, with how much everyone practiced!" Mei shouted, before regaining her composure. "It would be an insult to say you alone dragged down their hard work, especially when you were practicing so hard alongside them."
Hideri stared at the cracked ground beneath him, feeling he might shatter just like it at any moment. He knew if Mei turned against him it'd be all but inevitable, yet he couldn't help but think he deserved it, and wonder why she hadn't done it already.
"I don't even play trombone anymore though. I gave it up to focus on my studies."
"I didn't fall in love with you because you played trombone, but because I want to see what you do with that passion of yours. That passion that would move someone so aloof as yourself to believe he can achieve greatness. That makes me want to believe he can… No… that makes me know he can."
Tears began to swell in Hideri's eyes as he still stood there bent over staring at the ground, and he knew he couldn't hold them back. As if on cue, Mei hugged him as the tears finally burst forth, all being absorbed into her school uniform. He could only take relief in the fact that it was the weekend, and she'd be able to wash it before class.
As the tears finally began to dry up, Hideri rose his head to greet Mei with a smile, which she returned.
"Come on, let's go home," Mei said, as she began to walk.
"Hey Mei," Hideri said, as he joined alongside her, "earlier you promised not to get mad."
"And I kept my promise, didn't I?"
"I'm not so sure that shout from earlier didn't have any anger in it," he said.
"Oh, I wasn't angry then, just upset."
"You sound just like my mom," he laughed, folding his arms behind his head as he looked up at the sky.
Mei took that opening to give him a slight jab in the stomach for that remark, but also gave a small chuckle while doing so, happy that Hideri was back to his usual self.
