After that first night, Edward came up with a list of memories he wanted to see. Some of them were easy, like what I thought as I walked down the staircase during our wedding or what I did with J. Jones. Other memories were harder. It took all my concentration just to will my shield away from myself, so when he asked me about a memory I had no chance to filter what he saw. The first time he asked me about my transformation, I couldn't stop the memory of the searing, burning, incapacitating pain I had gone through. I could feel him tense up just from the intensity of my memory. As he saw my thought process, my struggle to keep from screaming to reduce his pain, I could feel his hands tighten into fists. When we got to my eyes opening, he took a step back and my shield slipped back into place. "Edward," I started, but he held a hand up. I could see him trying to calm himself down before he spoke. "Bella, you," his voice broke. "I should have been your absolute last worry. How could you even think about my pain in the midst of that? I just.." his voice trailed off in bewilderment. "I couldn't stand the thought of putting you through any more pain," I whispered. He looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. "Bella, how can you continue surprising me like this? How did I get through so many years without you? How-" I cut him off with a kiss. We didn't talk much the rest of the night. My human memories were the hardest for me to show. First, they were all blurry and dim. They also tended to leave me feeling embarrassed. Like when he asked to see our meadow through my eyes. He touched my face when he saw what had made me upset that day, my ordinary self compared to his sparkling brilliance. "Oh, Bella," he said sadly. He snarled when he saw himself jump away from me and again when he heard my reaction. "You really weren't afraid of me? Were you seriously afraid of what I thought of you?" I laughed quietly. "Of course, I was in love." "Silly teenagers," he said quietly while tracing his old pattern from my cheek to my jaw. "Silly teenagers," I agreed. The next day he wanted to see the Volturi standoff. I showed him me packing the bag for Renesmee and Jacob. When I showed him my contemplation of our impending demise, how sure I was that we died together, he broke off the memory with a kiss. "Edward, you know I need to concentrate.." I trailed off with laughter as he continued down my throat. Suddenly, he turned serious. "You know I felt the same way. There is no me without you." This time I was the one to break his concentration as we tumbled onto the bed.