Animal Magnetism
Disclaimer: Heh. I think it's safe to say that I own nothing.
Author's Note: I have no idea where this came from, but it was inspired by all the weasel and ferret talk at Fiction Alley Park's SCUSA threads. Of course. Um.. slashy over/undertones here, folks. That shall be your only warning. Thank you to Mad Maudlin for the title. ;)
* * * * * *
"Don't drop him, Harry!"
"I'm trying not to! He keeps trying to bite me, the prat." Harry's voice was tinged with a rather large amount of annoyance.
Hermione stood at the other side of the empty classroom, pushing books and chairs aside, looking for something that would hold an angry bouncy weasel.
The red-furred weasel that was currently squirming around, attempting to free itself from Harry's grip.
The weasel that used to be their best friend.
Hermione was having no luck in her search, and turned back to cast a concerned glance at Harry and… WeaselRon. Then she was distracted by a large stack of parchment tumbling off a desk. She groaned.
"And what are we supposed to do with him? I don't want to go near him, he'd probably try and scratch my eyes out!" Hermione said shrilly, shoving her hair out of her flushed face.
Now perched atop the fallen parchment was a snow white ferret, surveying the entire room with such disdain that it would have been comical on anyone else. As it was, it just further irritated the other occupants in the room.
With a loud squeak, WeaselRon managed to twist out of Harry's hands and plop onto the ground. Before Harry or Hermione could grab him again, he took off running, straight towards FerretDraco.
"Ron, NO!" Hermione couldn't be certain that Ron and Draco would be any less aggressive in animal appearance than they were as humans, and she really didn't fancy seeing them rip each other to shreds.
To her complete surprise, WeaselRon stopped short, right in front of FerretDraco, and stared. Hermione and Harry exchanged looks; Harry shrugged, and started walking over to retrieve WeaselRon.
"Erm… Hermione? Why aren't they trying to tear each other's throats out?" Harry sounded funny. Half amused, half troubled. Hermione, curious now, joined him, peering down at the two mustelids who were now sniffing at the other with twitchy noses.
"Now, that is odd. Although," Hermione gasped, clutching Harry's sleeve. "Perhaps the longer they stay in this form, the less they keep their right state of mind! Oh, Harry, we have got to go find Professor McGonagall or someone." The two of them began to run out of the room, and promptly crashed into each other as they remembered Ron and Draco. "I'll find her. Stay here, and don't let them kill each other… or worse." Hermione turned a bit red as she said the words. Harry was too disgusted at the idea to make any sarcastic comment.
* * * * * *
"Good heavens! What on earth happened here?" McGonagall entered the room briskly, Hermione close on her heels.
Harry stood quickly, swearing as FerretDraco bit into his finger as Harry tried to drag him away from WeaselRon by the scruff of his neck for the three hundredth time. Flushing, he apologised to McGonagall, who waved his words away, more intent on righting just whatever the hell had gone wrong.
Harry and Hermione tried to explain – in over laying voices – that Draco had barged in on a Charms practice, curses were flown, and people were transfigured into ironic choices of animal. Professor McGonagall's mouth twitched, but all she said was,
"Stand aside, Ms Granger. Potter, release… Mr Malfoy." FerretDraco, realising he was free, made a beeline for his new best friend, WeaselRon. They bounded happily together, causing Hermione to giggle despite her faint horror in the situation.
After a couple words and a wave of McGonagall's wand – POOF!
Newly Human Ron and Newly Human Draco blinked. They looked confusedly around the room, and finally realised that they were rather tangled up with one another. Giving nearly identical howls of revulsion, the boys jumped away from each other. Once again, the sight would have been comical, if everyone in the room had not agreed that this was indeed a disturbing circumstance.
Professor McGonagall chuckled, and wished them well as she left. Well, perhaps she didn't find it too disturbing.
Draco's paler than usual features slowly regained a bit of colour as he glowered frostily at the other three. "If any of you ever speak a word of this to anyone, I swear I will tell my father, and no one will ever find the cursed remains of your bodies." And he stormed out of the classroom, not once looking back at Ron.
Harry burst into laughter, most likely from hysterical relief that the bizarre situation was over, and also because he didn't find Draco's threats scary in the slightest. Hermione, on the other hand, merely rolled her eyes before walking cautiously over to Ron.
"Are you all right, Ron? Do… do you remember anything that happened while you were, er, an animal?" She tried to avoid saying the word 'weasel', as he was likely to be sensitive to it. Ron finally met her eyes. He didn't appear to be happy.
"No. I don't remember a thing." His ears began to turn pink, indicting that this was most probably a lie. "Except…" Hermione nodded encouragingly. "Erm… he smelled appealing." He dropped his now bright red face into his hands with a muffled moan.
Harry burst into manic laughter again.
End.