Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything.
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
The war. The war is over. The war that has taken so many lives. The war that has changed so many lives. The war that has shattered so many hearts. The war that has aged so many of the young. The war that has returned hope to our hearts. The war that has freed us.... The war is over.
As I sit here in the field and look upon the sight of our new home being built, I look back at how much the war has changed the countless people before me. My father. Aunt Charlotte. Susan. Nathan. William. Samuel. Thomas... Gabriel... Physically Thomas and Gabriel are not before me, but spiritually they will always be with me. Neither of them were very affectionate with me, but none the less, it hurts so bad now that they are gone. I miss the way Gabriel would give me a smile and a wink when I was quiet or upset. I miss the way Thomas would pull my hair to greet me in the morning. I miss how Gabriel's eyes would twinkle and immediately give him away when he was up to something. I miss Thomas' confidence. But most of all, I miss the things I never got to share with them. I miss the hugs I never got from Thomas. I miss the playing in the fields I never did with Gabriel. I miss the riding I never did with Thomas. I miss the swimming I never did with Gabriel. I miss never truly getting to know them. Sure, they were my brothers, but I never got more than a friendly smile or small action of affection from them. I never had long talks with them. I never played with them. I was just "one of the siblings". Not to mention, "one of the girls". Gabriel was more friendly to us than Thomas, but he was friendly in the "I'm your big brother, it's my job to look after you sort of way". Thomas seemed to think that we were all too young for him. He spent all of his time by himself or with Gabriel. I wish I could go back in time and made sure I really knew them. It's amazing how little you can know about a person who lives with you, and never realize it till it's too late.
Now that I look at all of my brother's and sister, I realize how little our father knows us. I know he loves us more than anything, but I wonder how much he truly knows about each of us. He always refers to us as "the children" or when he wants to be specific "the boys", or "the girls". The one word I long to hear come out of his mouth is "Meg". It has been forever since he has called me that. And even longer since I have been his "little Nutmeg". I haven't been that since mother died. Mother... Mother knew us. Mother knew us all. That is, I think, how I am like her. I notice everything about my brother's and sister. Even if I don't know them very personally, I still know how they act, what they like, what they dislike, etc. We are all different. All individual.
Susan is the youngest. She has been babied by all who meet her because of the fact that she never talked. Then she was babied even more when she began talking. I am afraid that she will never know how to be independent. As I look at her now, she is playing by the house with her doll. Aunt Charlotte is playing with her with the new baby, Rose, on her lap. Father's friends and fellow soldiers keep ruffling her hair, and making jokes to her, and praising her, and telling her how pretty she is. I fear her independence.
William is next youngest. He is often overlooked. The youngest boy of five, it's no surprise that he is. He is also very soft-spoken and calm. Very gentle and loving. A very sweet little boy. He cares about everyone. No matter who they are, he cares about them. Right now he is sitting on the dirt road in front of the house, playing marbles with Samuel. His tiny body bent over, his eyes searching the marbles, his hands carefully moving them. A very sweet little boy.
Samuel. What to say about Samuel... He is very sensitive. And ever so caring. I remember how he was after father took him to free Gabriel. He didn't know what to say to anybody. He was in shock. At what he had done, at what father had done, at what Nathan had done. He was in shock. Usually he stays very close to Nathan and follows his every move. Nathan is his hero. He looks up to him so much. Everything Nathan does is right, is admirable, is amazing. Samuel wants so much to be like him. Lately though, I've noticed how he has been playing by himself or without Nathan. He is beginning to become his own person. And I can't wait to see what a remarkable person he turns into.
Then there's Nathan. Nathan. I know I shouldn't say it, but Nathan is probably my favorite of my siblings. I know him better than anyone. He knows me better than anyone. He is actually the only one who calls me Meg anymore. I remember how he used to be. Full of jokes and pranks and energy. He was dying to stand out behind that glow coming from Thomas and Gabriel. He wanted to be recognized. I sigh when I think of how he has changed. He is oldest now, and is aware of his responsibility. I think it scares him. He is quiet now. Quiet and solemn. He has been through so much. And now, now he is scared. As much as he wanted to be noticed apart from Thomas and Gabriel, he also looked up to them. They were his guide. He knew what to do by looking to them. Now, they are gone. He is on his own with this new and huge responsibility, with no one to look to. I'm am worried about him. He has been so sad. So quiet. I wish I could do something. I see him helping with the house. Running around doing everything he can to help. That's all he wants to do. Help.
Then of course there is me. Not much to say in that area. I am simply, ....me. I am the mother. Looking after my siblings. I am the quiet one. The reserved one. Spending most of my time alone or looking after my siblings. I need not tell you much about me. For there is no need. Everything I feel, everything I think, everything I need to say, you know. You know more about me, than probably even I know. I tell you more than anyone else.
There is one person I almost missed, Rose. Rose is my half-sister, but none the less my sister. I am afraid that Aunt Charlotte and Rose will take the place of Mother in Father's heart. I know that that is impossible, but I still fear it. Mother was more to me than anything in the entire world. I loved her so much. She knew me so well. She made the effort to get to know each and every one of us. She talked to us, and she made us feel like we were each important. That was her best trait, making people feel good about themselves. It was a gift she was blessed with. I look at all of my siblings. She is present in all of us. There is a bit of her shining through in each of us. Susan's beauty, William's caring, Samuel's sensitivity, Nathan's need to help people, Thomas's confidence, Gabriel's parental ways. As for me, I am not sure. Perhaps it is my passion. I only hope it is something good. Then again, knowing my mother, it has to be something good. There was no bad in her.
It is time for lunch. Nathan is waving me over. I must leave you for now.
Forever Yours,
Margaret Elizabeth Martin
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
The war. The war is over. The war that has taken so many lives. The war that has changed so many lives. The war that has shattered so many hearts. The war that has aged so many of the young. The war that has returned hope to our hearts. The war that has freed us.... The war is over.
As I sit here in the field and look upon the sight of our new home being built, I look back at how much the war has changed the countless people before me. My father. Aunt Charlotte. Susan. Nathan. William. Samuel. Thomas... Gabriel... Physically Thomas and Gabriel are not before me, but spiritually they will always be with me. Neither of them were very affectionate with me, but none the less, it hurts so bad now that they are gone. I miss the way Gabriel would give me a smile and a wink when I was quiet or upset. I miss the way Thomas would pull my hair to greet me in the morning. I miss how Gabriel's eyes would twinkle and immediately give him away when he was up to something. I miss Thomas' confidence. But most of all, I miss the things I never got to share with them. I miss the hugs I never got from Thomas. I miss the playing in the fields I never did with Gabriel. I miss the riding I never did with Thomas. I miss the swimming I never did with Gabriel. I miss never truly getting to know them. Sure, they were my brothers, but I never got more than a friendly smile or small action of affection from them. I never had long talks with them. I never played with them. I was just "one of the siblings". Not to mention, "one of the girls". Gabriel was more friendly to us than Thomas, but he was friendly in the "I'm your big brother, it's my job to look after you sort of way". Thomas seemed to think that we were all too young for him. He spent all of his time by himself or with Gabriel. I wish I could go back in time and made sure I really knew them. It's amazing how little you can know about a person who lives with you, and never realize it till it's too late.
Now that I look at all of my brother's and sister, I realize how little our father knows us. I know he loves us more than anything, but I wonder how much he truly knows about each of us. He always refers to us as "the children" or when he wants to be specific "the boys", or "the girls". The one word I long to hear come out of his mouth is "Meg". It has been forever since he has called me that. And even longer since I have been his "little Nutmeg". I haven't been that since mother died. Mother... Mother knew us. Mother knew us all. That is, I think, how I am like her. I notice everything about my brother's and sister. Even if I don't know them very personally, I still know how they act, what they like, what they dislike, etc. We are all different. All individual.
Susan is the youngest. She has been babied by all who meet her because of the fact that she never talked. Then she was babied even more when she began talking. I am afraid that she will never know how to be independent. As I look at her now, she is playing by the house with her doll. Aunt Charlotte is playing with her with the new baby, Rose, on her lap. Father's friends and fellow soldiers keep ruffling her hair, and making jokes to her, and praising her, and telling her how pretty she is. I fear her independence.
William is next youngest. He is often overlooked. The youngest boy of five, it's no surprise that he is. He is also very soft-spoken and calm. Very gentle and loving. A very sweet little boy. He cares about everyone. No matter who they are, he cares about them. Right now he is sitting on the dirt road in front of the house, playing marbles with Samuel. His tiny body bent over, his eyes searching the marbles, his hands carefully moving them. A very sweet little boy.
Samuel. What to say about Samuel... He is very sensitive. And ever so caring. I remember how he was after father took him to free Gabriel. He didn't know what to say to anybody. He was in shock. At what he had done, at what father had done, at what Nathan had done. He was in shock. Usually he stays very close to Nathan and follows his every move. Nathan is his hero. He looks up to him so much. Everything Nathan does is right, is admirable, is amazing. Samuel wants so much to be like him. Lately though, I've noticed how he has been playing by himself or without Nathan. He is beginning to become his own person. And I can't wait to see what a remarkable person he turns into.
Then there's Nathan. Nathan. I know I shouldn't say it, but Nathan is probably my favorite of my siblings. I know him better than anyone. He knows me better than anyone. He is actually the only one who calls me Meg anymore. I remember how he used to be. Full of jokes and pranks and energy. He was dying to stand out behind that glow coming from Thomas and Gabriel. He wanted to be recognized. I sigh when I think of how he has changed. He is oldest now, and is aware of his responsibility. I think it scares him. He is quiet now. Quiet and solemn. He has been through so much. And now, now he is scared. As much as he wanted to be noticed apart from Thomas and Gabriel, he also looked up to them. They were his guide. He knew what to do by looking to them. Now, they are gone. He is on his own with this new and huge responsibility, with no one to look to. I'm am worried about him. He has been so sad. So quiet. I wish I could do something. I see him helping with the house. Running around doing everything he can to help. That's all he wants to do. Help.
Then of course there is me. Not much to say in that area. I am simply, ....me. I am the mother. Looking after my siblings. I am the quiet one. The reserved one. Spending most of my time alone or looking after my siblings. I need not tell you much about me. For there is no need. Everything I feel, everything I think, everything I need to say, you know. You know more about me, than probably even I know. I tell you more than anyone else.
There is one person I almost missed, Rose. Rose is my half-sister, but none the less my sister. I am afraid that Aunt Charlotte and Rose will take the place of Mother in Father's heart. I know that that is impossible, but I still fear it. Mother was more to me than anything in the entire world. I loved her so much. She knew me so well. She made the effort to get to know each and every one of us. She talked to us, and she made us feel like we were each important. That was her best trait, making people feel good about themselves. It was a gift she was blessed with. I look at all of my siblings. She is present in all of us. There is a bit of her shining through in each of us. Susan's beauty, William's caring, Samuel's sensitivity, Nathan's need to help people, Thomas's confidence, Gabriel's parental ways. As for me, I am not sure. Perhaps it is my passion. I only hope it is something good. Then again, knowing my mother, it has to be something good. There was no bad in her.
It is time for lunch. Nathan is waving me over. I must leave you for now.
Forever Yours,
Margaret Elizabeth Martin