Just a little thing I came up with! Enjoy!

Kristoff stared blankly at his neon screen, his heavy hand hovering above the mouse. One wrong move and there would be a virus.

Ever since Arendelle had gotten it's own WiFi network, many of the citizens had stayed indoors, too busy with work, or leisure. Kristoff had noticed that sales in ice had gone up again as well as carrots, zucchinis and Oaken was all out of hand lotion.

As the screen loaded Kristoff logged into Gargle search and into Abay.

The perfect pink rose quartz bracelet stared back at him. Even at such an outrageous price, it would be the greatest gift for his girlfriend, Anna.

Suddenly a high voice made him jump out of his furs.

"Whatcha doin?"

"AGH! Good God, Anna don't ever do that to me again!"

Anna giggled. "Sorry," she said fiddling with an auburn braid, "just wanted to say Hi!" She peered at his computer server. "What's that?" Kristoff instantly clicked the ex, his heart racing. He didn't want to spoil the surprise. "UGH, Nothing. It's Nothing! Just a-thing. I need to buy."

"Oh come on! You can tell me!" Anna teased. "Seems like there's a lot of stuff people are buying from the web these days. I saw Kai sneaking a suspicious package into his quarters the other day."

"Oh really? How suspicious?" grinned her fiancee.

"Well, it was long and there was a bow and card...and it was..." Anna got nearer to him, "oddly light."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah." said Anna melting like the ice he carried, as she always did when he looked at her like that. As the couple's lips met there was a Ahem! from the doorway. The two pulled apart abruptly to see a radiant looking Queen Elsa, with her hair in a braid and wearing a sky blue gown.

"Oh, Elsa!" gasped Anna, "I thought you were asleep!"

"I just rose," the cold queen smirked, "anyway it looks like you too were having more fun without me."

"Elsa that's crazy," said Anna leading her older sister toward the computer. "Isn't this great? Everyone loves the kingdom's new WiFi Network!"

"So I see. Hey listen, the reason I came in is because someone wanted to see you."

The sound of squelchy, crushed snow, was heard as Olaf waddled in carrying a red wagon full of books and some reading glasses, closely followed by Sven who had more dangling from his antlers.

"Hey Guys! How is everyone doing?!"

"Olaf!" giggled Anna as she rushed to kiss the snowman's head, "We're great have you been online too?"

"Yep! And I downloaded these cool new songs. Not like the ones they sing in the churches here. I got Nir-nirv? Ah, I can't really pronounce it, but it's awesome! Sven likes the ones about animals don't you Sven?" Sven nodded his head and breathed a sound of agreement causing ice cold mist to come out of his nostrils, "We found one about a snake!"

"That sounds wonderful Olaf!" said Anna clapping her hands. I found this thing called Twitter. I think it's where you get to talk to birds! If Snow White can do it I don't see why I can't!"

"I found out about this great website you can watch moving pictures on," said Elsa. "It's pretty amazing actually, people can comment on my singing."

"You been doing some reading buddy?" said Kristoff picking up one of Olaf's books.

"Oh yeah! That reminds me! I've been to the library. I found the greatest thing EVUR!"

"Hmmmm, so that's why I found ice water dripping from the shelves and hoof-prints in the hall," said Elsa.

Olaf giggled nervously. "Look!" He jumped up handing one to Anna. It was all white, with the pages looking very recent. They had been printed not hand written. Anna flicked through the pages, "Ooh, what's this?"

"I found out about it when I was on the line!" Olaf beamed, "they're FanFictions!"

"What is that?" asked Elsa, "literature classics written by fans and admirers?"

"Better!" said Olaf "they're fictions written by fans!"

Elsa's face changed. "Oh My."

"Come on! Look one up Kristoff!" Olaf pushed the revolving chair into the desk, slamming Kristoff into it in the process. "There's lots to see."

"Ugh. Fine, fine." His sausage fingers began typing, " F...A...N...F...I...C...T...I...O...N..." *click*

Within seconds, hundreds of results came up. In different categories, genres and styles each with their own pictures.

"Wow..." breathed Anna, "there are so many of them!" Kristoff scrolled down. "They all have such weird profile names." he said.

"Look!" Anna pointed, "there's my name! And a picture!"

Kristoff stopped on a story with Anna's picture and name. It was called, "Red Fury,". "The story of Anna as she lives her life in Arendelle growing up without her sister. Anna is a determined girl who is sad as her sister has ice powers. Until she discovers she has Fire Powers! And a second sister-self insert yaoi fanfic, if you don't like DON'T READ! Rate and review."

"How the heck did they know about my ice powers?" questioned Elsa, looking around for devices or bugs.

"Luck I guess," said Anna, "Ooh, I have fire powers! How exciting! I'd love to read it!"

"Well, dream on kiddo said Kristoff, "'cause we're not reading it."

"Awwww, whyyyyy?!"

"Because these things are weird-once you read them you can't forget them!"

Elsa returned to Anna's side. "He's right Anna, I have heard about these places. They are to dangerous to venture, you may never find your way out!"

Anna's face fell. "I wanted to see if I could melt through walls!"

"I'll melt you!" laughed Elsa, tickling her sister who broke into hysterics. "You can't melt me, you're made of ice!"

"What the-!"

Kristoff had stopped dead. Both sisters turned to see what was wrong. I'M on here!" Sure enough there was a picture of Kristoff, his chest sticking out, his hair flowing. He was feeding a carrot to Sven was behind him-naked.

"Ooh. Well." giggled Elsa.

"It's not funny!" growled Kristoff, "it's embarrassing!"

"Oh cheer up!" said Anna "No one can see your privates!"

"They can see the rest of me can't they?"

"I told you this was weird," remarked Elsa.

"Oh! Read that one!" said Olaf who they practically forgot was in the same room, "that's a good one!"

Even though he sensed he would regret it, Kristoff moved the white bow and arrow across the screen and clicked. The first chapter appeared as Kristoff read aloud and the others listened.

"KRISTOFF AND SVEN: THE EARLY YEARS. CHAPTER 1. Kristoff had a simple childhood. Raised by creatures of the snowy rocky mountains. Living in their life, their culture. Collecting crystals and stealing pebbles-" Kristoff chuckled. "I don't see what's so bad about this!" he read on, "Kristoff would often fall asleep looking up at the stars in the heavens and dreamed of being a prince with a mighty white steed-or black-he wasn't racist-and they would ride into the northern lights. Yes, life was going pretty easy for Kristoff. Until he met Sven..."

The reindeer's ears pricked up as he heard his name. He clopped his way over to them, resting his muzzle on his friend's shoulder.

"Sven complicated things. He had found him trapped in a hunter's snare in the woods one day and had take him home out of pity. During the time they spent together as children, they grew a close friendship together." The girls awwed and Sven mowed.

"When Kristoff and Sven grew into their teenage years, his family expected him to become a man, marry a wife, do something with it. But Kristoff wanted nothing more than to just stroll through the woods...naked. The berry bushes...pounding against his...berry bush." Kristoff turned round to try and silence an uncontrollable Anna and Elsa.

"I can't help it!" Anna said, "it's just so funny!"

"Yeah!" agreed Elsa.

"Hey! Read on read on!" begged Olaf. Kristoff continued.

"Kristoff was washing his face in a forest stream one day, staring at his perfect reflection and watching as little water droplets ran down his shiny muscular back like diamonds mined from the eyes of angels-Shut up Anna-he regained his posture and continued through the woods when he heard something stir. He whipped round. Out of the trees emerged a mighty creature. His name was Sven. He had grown large antlers and a summer coat. His eyes black as coal. He was so... majestic." "I haven't seen you in a long time buddy," Kristoff told the animal, "Nor I you friend," the reindeer replied. "You must think me rude. To bathe here." The reindeer's hooves pulled his face close to him. "No my love-I do not."

"The two brought each other closer to Sven's-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHH!"

"What is it?!" asked Anna. "OH MY GOD!" yelled Kristoff. Sven stood there looking confused. Anna read over Kristoff's shoulder. "OH. Ha heh! Ooooh. Tee hee!"

Elsa read over too, "Oh lord that's disgusting! Olaf! Olaf! Why do you read this horrible stuff?"

Olaf looked innocent. "I don't, I just saw him naked on the front and thought it would be good!"

"Are you kidding me!" Kristoff exclaimed.

"That's enough of that!" said Anna closing the story, "have you got anything else?"

"Hm!" Olaf pulled out another manuscript from his tiny wagon. "This! It's called "My darling Winter Flower."

"Oh, that sounds lovely!" sighed Anna, "so romantic..." She opened to a random page, "Anna awoke in bed with her husband in her embrace." Kristoff looked up. "She indulged in the cosy warm feeling of both their bodies, cuddled up, the silken sheets falling off of them."

"Where do you even find this?" Elsa questioned Olaf.

"I told you, in the library, people have been submitting a whole bunch of them!"

"The young red haired beauty wondered if she should awake to greet the incoming ships. It was daylight and they would be expecting the Princess or royalty to make a formal welcome. Oh well, Elsa would do it! Besides, she wanted a little more time in bed with her-citron prince aux cheveux."

"What does that mean?" asked Olaf. "It means lemon haired prince," Anna answered, "I have been studying French since last year." She read on, "Anna ducked away under the bedsheets as Kristoff reacted to her movements, stirring and smiling in his sleep. The princess ducked under and soon sat atop him. Her backed arched like a myrtle tree..." Anna stopped, and paused to laugh. "Oh dear! It's really rude!"

"It's quite personal to actually," remarked Kristoff, "invasion of people's private lives."

"Something to tell me Kristoff?" Elsa said arms folded.

"No, Your Highness," laughed Kristoff, "me and my strawberry haired girlfriend have not engaged in any sexual activities." Then he muttered under his breath, "since last night..."

"I got one for you too, Elsa." said Olaf handing her a navy novel.

"Oh, er. No thank you Olaf. It's sweet of you, but I don't think this is my kind of hobby."

"Aw, come on Elsa!" said Olaf making a cute face. "Yeah come on sis!" laughed Anna. Sven offered her a pair of reading glasses from his antler which although she hesitated soon accepted and opened the book.

"What does it say?" asked Anna.

"Every night, the Queen of Ice and Snow Elsa would awake to gaze at the moon from her crystal tower wondering if she would ever find love. Her heart was made of ice but her soul was as clear and precious as the water that woke her up as it dripped from her melting ceiling. Her crisp, clear blue eyes rivaled that of the stars who's beauty looked down upon the Earth from above. One day, Elsa thought. One day, she would join them in perfect harmony after she chose a lover to hold her when the moon shone bright." Elsa sighed and closed the book holding it to her chest. Kristoff applauded, Olaf whistled, Sven bowed and Anna wiped a tear. "That was beautiful Elsa!"

"Yeah. Maybe I have misjudged this FanFiction item. It is actually very touching. I do feel like this sometimes." She opened the book to a different page and then gasped.

"The young ice attendant Kristoff stood before the Queen who had stripped down to her lingerie and was standing with a cane of ice in her white palms. "Bend over my servant!" she commanded. "As you wish Your Excellency!" replied her slave. Kristoff bent over and allowed her to-GRRRR!" Elsa threw the book down in agitation. "That's complete lies!" She screamed, her glasses flying off her face. "I'm NOT a kinky self-centred dominating lustful-GAH!"

"Calm down Elsa."

"I can't Anna, they've painted a picture of me I do not wish to indulge in."

"Welcome to my world," muttered Kristoff.

"If only people could just keep their sick fantasies to themselves!" said Elsa, "if they did there would be more people outside today."

"Um, Elsa?"

"Yes Kristoff?"

"You better take a look at this-you too Anna."

The two girls looked at each other and approached the computer cautiously as though it were some sort of hideous monster on the verge of attack. On the screen, Kristoff had discovered a new story; one with both sisters of the front. It was a beautifully artistic drawing, as though the greatest Scandinavian artist had the Internet as his canvas.

Except they weren't holding hands, or hugging or dancing or playing together or standing back to back or dressed for a party or comforting each other. Nothing that indicated sisterly love.

Though there was love alright. Passion, skin and pink lips. It was a drawing of Anna kissing Elsa's neck and touching her breasts.

"OH." said Anna.

"MY GOD!" Elsa finished. "What? What the-What what IS THIS?!"

All three turned to Olaf. "Don't look at me!" he said throwing up his twigs, "I think trolls write them. "

"Oh for GODS SAKE GRANDPABBY!" Kristoff griped.

There was a sudden clicking sound from the machine.

"KRISTOFF!"

"What?! It was an accident! I didn't mean to press it! I swear! Lets read some it."

"Are you crazy?!" gasped Anna.

"Yeah, a little. Besides maybe it's not what we think it is."

He scrolled down the texts and the sisters read together.

"No soul in Arendelle had ever seen or known of their secret. Not one guard, servant, chambermaid or gardener knew of their secret meetings." Anna said.

"Since they were young they had always been so close with each other," Elsa continued, "playing, laughing, partying, watching. Anna had seen that her sister had grown into a beautiful irradescent being. And Elsa knew Anna was a spirited sprite from a hideaway forest."

Kristoff groaned. The girls stared at him but ignored him and continued.

"On the dates of their 18th and 21st birthdays the girls had decided to celebrate it in style-with a secret...tantalising...make-out session...behind the doors of their bedroom." Anna said her facial features distorting in disgust. "Ew."

"There was nothing Elsa liked more than the sweet smelling taste of Anna's lips and her soft-Okay, you know what?! Turn it off! Turn it off! That's disgusting!"

"Why?" asked Olaf.

"That's my sister!" shouted Anna, "I love her but certainly not like that!"

"Where the hell would someone get such a crazy idea!?" snapped Elsa, "that's incestuous and wrong!"

"Okay-but I promise you it wasn't my idea," said Olaf, "some people just have their own unique take on things!"

"WHAT?!" the sisters roared together, "Olaf-that's my little sister!" Elsa cried, "these people are sick."

"Well, half the site is filled with this same story category." chimed in Kristoff. "Alright! Fine. Excuse me, I'm going back to bed, Good evening everyone." Elsa curtsied and marched out of the room-but she quickly returned, retrieving the book she had thrown on the ground, "and I'm taking this with me!"

Olaf stood there with Sven rolling his eyes awkwardly. "Um. I'll go, put these back," he said leading the reindeer outside, "bye you two."

"Put them in the fire!" Kristoff barked as the wagon disappeared from view. "Well. That was. Strange." said Anna.

"Yes. It was," agreed Kristoff. "Oh well. Might as well tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"About the present I was ordering you. For our anniversary."

"Awwww, baby!" Anna threw her arms around him. "Is it the new Kindle Ice?!"

Kristoff froze momentarily. "Uh, yes. Yes it is."

Well, there ya go! Don't forget to like, dislike, review, ignore, spam, report, love, rate or Follow my strange story! :)

What's the craziest Frozen fic you've ever read? :D