Disclaimer: These are so silly to write! I obviously don't own FY in any way! If I did, do you really think I'd waste my time writing fanfics? I'd be making OVA's like crazy! They'd introduce a brand new character, Shiro Yuki, who Tasuki would fall in love with. Then they'd live happily ever after…*anvil falls on Shiro's head, ending this silly delusion*
Shiro's Notes: Read this before you start reading this fic! Otherwise you will be terribly confused! This fic takes place in 1986. Keisuke is 6 years old and Miaka is 2. If you are not a child of the eighties, or lived in the eighties, you may not know about some of the cartoons mentioned here. Miaka and Keisuke live in Japan, and in this fic they still live in Japan. I'm not entirely sure they have these cartoons in Japan, but I'm from Canada and don't know what the eighties were like in Japan. So use your imaginations, all fanfic writers and readers have good ones, and pretend they did! I really hope you'll like this fic, I'm really excited about it! I usually write humor fics, but I know I'm capable of a more serious one, BUT NOT ULTRA SERIOUS! That's just not my style! Please read it! I think you'll like it!
Chapter One:
Priestess in Pampers
Narrated By: Keisuke
"Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!" The man in the TV said at the end of G.I. Joe, my favourite show.
"Wow! Flint is so cool Tetsuya! When I grow up, I wanna be a G.I Joe like him!"
"Yah! I'd shoot all da baddies with my machine gun!"
My best bud, Tetsuya, started make-believe shooting at the man in the TV. He's the Jello man, I think his real name is Bill Cosby.
"What's wrong with the Jello man? I like Jello! It's all wiggley and jiggley! I think we have some that Mom just made! Want any?"
"…well…I don't like the Jello man, cause he's scary…but I like red Jello!"
"Um…I think it's green…we can pretend it's boogies!"
"Cool!"
Tetsuya and me ran into the kitchen. Mom's busy trying to clean up Miaka, who's dumped her macaroni in her hair. She's always busy with stinky Miaka!
"Mom!"
No answer, I'll try again.
"MOM! Me and Tetsi want Jello!"
"Keisuke! Can't you see I'm busy with your sister? Go watch G.I Joe! I'll get you Jello later!"
"But Mom, G.I. Joe is over, and we want Jello now!"
Mom has stopped paying attention to me because Miaka has now taken her apple juice and thrown it at Neko, our cat, who has now stuck her claws to the curtains. I look over at Tetsuya.
"Your Mommy is busy, maybe we should just go play transformers or somethin'." He says heading to the kitchen door in a hurry because Miaka is now aiming a spoonful of applesauce at him.
"NO! I'm sick of being told to wait! G.I. Joe Captain Flint would never have to wait for Jello! He'd just get it himself!"
I head over to the fridge and open the door. The jello is on the top shelf, which I can just reach. I grasp the edge of the Jello bowl. It's heavier than I thought it would be, I think it's made of glass. *CRASH*…whoops.
Mom spins around, "KEISUKE! I told you to wait! Now look what you've done! I can't believe this! Look at this mess! Glass all over the place!" Miaka starts crying because of Mom's yelling. Mom went over and took her out of her high chair trying to make her stop blubbering. Just like her to make a situation worse! "Tetsuya, I think you'd better go home, Keisuke is being punished."
Tetsuya looks very scared and says, "Yes, Ms. Yuki," and runs out the front door.
I thought maybe Mom's lecture was over, no such luck.
"What if the glass had got in your sister's eye? She could have been blinded for life! You could of hurt Tetsuya! Don't you even think before you act? You have to start thinking before you act!" What does that mean? "You're a big brother, and Miaka looks up to you!"
"I HATE MIAKA! You never pay attention to me anymore! If G.I. Joe were here, they'd shoot her with their 'chine guns!"
I run into my room and slam the door.
"You can just stay in there young man!" I hear Mom calling from the kitchen, she sounds real angry, "There will be no dinner for you tonight!"
"I don't care!" I yell. Just then my tummy rumbles. I don't care, but I think it does.
Stupid, Miaka! She's so annoying! Back when it was just Mommy, Daddy and me, I could have Jello whenever I wanted! Tetsuya is his Mommy and Daddy's only kid, so they always pay attention to him. I don't see why Mommy likes Miaka so much! All she does is cry, eat, make a mess, and make smellies! And Daddy is never home anymore, he stays at work really late, most of the time I'm asleep when he comes home. And when he does come home earlier, him and Mommy are always yelling too much for him to pay attention to me!
I look out the window. I wish G.I. Joe would drive up in their Jeep and take me on their adventures. I wonder if Mom and Dad would even notice I was gone. They might when they see me on TV with G.I Joe. I wonder if G.I Joe knows the Transformers, I'd really like to meet Optimus Prime! I bet no one ever ignores him! He's so big and important and doesn't have a whiney sister to steal his Mommy's attention away. All that yelling made me sleepy. I might as well go to bed; I'm not getting any dinner anyway.
I climb into my bed. I love my bed 'cause it has a cool He-man comforter. He's also got a sister, She-ra, but she's pretty cool for a girl. She doesn't cry, barf and poop like Miaka does! He probably doesn't have to share a room with her either! I look over at her stupid "big-girl" bed, with stupid My Little Pony, Blankets. He-man's parents probably like him better because he's stronger. *Yawn! * My eyes feel really heavy and I close them tight. Maybe when I wake up, He-man will have taken my little sister away. I laugh to myself, that would be the coolest.
**~*~*~**
BUMP! Something bumps into my bed and I open my eyes a bit.
"Jesus! You're gonna wake the other kid up! Be careful! Let's just grab the other one and get the fuck out of here!"
Wow! Is my wish coming true? This is great! That must be He-man and G.I. Joe taking my sister away so that Mommy and Daddy will love me again! With the dim light coming from the window, I can see two men lifting my sleeping sister out of her dumb Pony bed. I start to feel kinda scared. Mom and Dad will miss Miaka, they really like her for some strange reason. Maybe I should tell He-man I was just joking. Yeah, as much as I hate Miaka…Mommy will cry forever if they take her away. I decide I have to stop them and tell them it was a mistake. I sit up in my bed.
"He-man…"
"Oh shit! The other kids awake! Chloroform him just like we did for the lil'Priestess here!"
The other man, who I think is Flint, comes over and quickly puts a cloth with something smelly on it on my mouth. I tried to stop him, but he was real strong.
"Flint? He-man? Wh-…"
**~*~*~**
"OMIGOD! Where's my baby? Where's my baby? KEISUKE! Where's Miaka? Where's is she?"
Huh? What's going on? Is that Mommy yelling?
"…what's wrong, Mommy?" I said opening my eyes seeing her by Miaka's bed grasping at Miaka's silly comforter.
"Enough with this silly game! Where's your sister, Keisuke?"
…Miaka's missing? I thought was just a dream! He-man was here and I didn't get his autograph!?
"I didn't take her Mommy! He-man did!"
Mommy was crying, I knew she would.
" I SAID ENOUGH WITH THE GAMES! WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?"
" I told you, He-man took her! And Flint was here too! I don't know where they went…"
Mommy came over and starts shaking me, it kinda hurt, and I was starting to get really scared.
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY KEISUKE! TELL ME WHERE MIAKA IS RIGHT NOW AND I PROMISE I WON'T PUNISH YOU!"
I start crying, too. "I don't know, Mommy! They took her last night and wiped my face with a smelly cloth! I tried to stop them, I really did! But Flint was too strong!"
"STOP LYING TO ME!"
"I'm not!" I can't look at Mommy's face; she looks like she might hit me. I look at the ground, "Look! There's the stinky cloth right there!"
Mommy looks at the cloth on the ground and sniffs it quickly.
"Omigod…Miaka's been kidnapped!" She runs out into the hallway.
"That's what I was telling you! I'm sorry it was my fault! I told He-man to come! And G.I. Joe too! I'll tell 'um too bring Miaka back! I'M SORRY!"
But Mommy wasn't paying attention to me anymore, as usual. She had picked up the phone and dialed a short number into it.
"Hello? My babies been kidnapped!"
Uh, oh. I think I'm really in trouble now! Thanks He-Man and Flint!
TBC…
Shiro's Last Closing Thoughts: Wow! Lil'Miaka's been kidnapped! But, by who? Well, I know the answer, but your just gonna have to wait and see! You probably think this fic is REALLY weird so far, but give me a chance here! This is gonna be a long one, with lots of twist and turns along the way! You're gonna wanna stick around!
Neko: Shiro-chan!
Shiro Yuki: *jumps* What?
Neko Kamiya: Stop sounding so full of your own writing skills! Who do you think you are? J.K. Rowling?
Shiro Yuki: I'm sorry! I'm just really excited about this story!
Neko Kamiya: Liar! You're so full of shit!
Shiro Yuki: You're just jealous because I'm a much better fanfic writer!
Neko Kamiya: *starts laughing uncontrollably*
Shiro Yuki: Grrrrrrrrrrr….
PREISTESS IN PAMPERS AKUGI:
"Enough with this silly game! Where's your sister, Keisuke?"
…Miaka's missing? I thought was just a dream! He-man was here and I didn't get his autograph!?
"I didn't take her Mommy! He-man did!"
Mommy was crying, I knew she would.
" I SAID ENOUGH WITH THE GAMES! WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?"
*cough*
"Huh? What was that sounded like it came from the closet…" Mommy ran over to the closet and opened it.
He-man and Flint were inside!
"Uh…sorry m'am, here's your baby! We thought the closet was the door!"
I run up to them, "Can I have your autograph?"
God that was a crappy Akugi…sorry! It'll be better next time!