"Hello?" A groggy voice answers. She knows there's a time zone difference between them now, that neither one of them wanted but that is out of their control. She knows it's early over there when she calls him, but she can't sleep.

"Hey, it's me" There's a yawn, and a few seconds of silence before he answers.

"Wait Liv? It's been almost a year. Are you ok honey?"

"I-I'm fine I just..needed to hear your voice."

"What's wrong?" His tone is gentle and concerned. She hasn't been allowed to see him in person for 7 years, but she can still see his loving, worried gaze. She has to fight back a few tears then, because his care for her, his protectiveness was one of the things she missed the most.

"El am I..Do you think I'm-"

"Olivia, sweetheart just take a deep breath. You can tell me anything, I'll stay on the line with you for as long as you need." It's been almost a year since they've talked. His voice is strong, reassuring like it always was. Of course he has to talk quietly now for both of their safety. Because he hasn't been Elliot Stabler in 7 years. He's Daniel Smith of San Diego, California. An accountant, not exactly the job he dreamed of but it's what the program decided. To keep him far away from danger..except it's also far away from her. The woman he loved. He wanted to keep her safe, she wanted him safe. But there was a hole in their hearts that had been there since the day he was put into Witness Protection, and it would stay until they let him go back home.

"I don't even know why I'm calling you about this, I should be able to take care of myself and you need to sleep, I should just-" She is rambling, and trying not to cry. He breaks the rule about talking quietly, desperate to keep her talking to him.

"Olivia don't hang up, there's nothing to be ashamed of..we all need to talk to someone sometimes. You are far from weak, you're the strongest person I know, you hear me?" She sniffles but doesn't respond. "I love you Liv, and nothing's gonna change that. Whether I come home tomorrow or it takes another 10 years..I will always love you, with all that I have. No matter what."

"I love you too, and I miss you so much" she chokes on a sob.

"I miss you too baby, you know I'd be there if I could"

Her response is almost inaudible. "I know you would."

"What can I do Liv? What do you need from me?"

"There was a case..and it just..brought back some old memories and-"

"If somebody hurt you I swear to god-"

"No-no it wasn't that El I promise. You know I think I knew, deep down I've always known. But I've never opened up about it, except to you."

"About what?"

"Elliot.. I'm nothing but collateral damage" Her voice is shaky and tearful and he's quick to respond with reassurance.

"Olivia, sweetheart, you know that's not true. You are worth so much, to so many people, including me. I don't know what to say that will help you believe that but if hearing me say it everyday for the rest of my life is what you need, then I will. There's no one I know that is more selfless, special, strong, compassionate than you. You are an incredible woman, and I wish you could see that." There is silence before he speaks again. "What happened honey?"

She knows she can't hide anything from him. He's her best friend, her rock, the love of her life, and no one knew her better than him. So she tells him about the latest SVU case, about her interview with Laurel. How the woman had sensed the deep sadness inside of her, and brought her to her breaking point. He just listens, and when she's done and breaks into tears..he whispers words of comfort into the phone. Tells her how much he loves her again, and each time she hears his voice she feels a little stronger.

"You remember the first time they allowed us to talk on the phone? The week after Lewis's trial?"

"How can I forget? I'm so sorry baby I should have been there..should have protected you. Heck I would have killed him myself."

"I know you would have, and it's not your fault..you know I would never blame you for anything that happened. He was a monster, there's no telling what would have happened even if you HAD been here." She takes a breath before continuing, her voice no longer as shaky now that his gave her some strength. "Lewis got to me, taunting me about my father which you already know but-"

"You can tell me anything sweetheart, even if it's something I know. Even if you just need reassurance."

"Laurel, I told you that her attacker reminded her of her father who had just died. Same cologne even and..she killed him, but was really killing her father for what he did to her sister and I-" She pauses before continuing. "She told me she could sense that I had hatred inside me, that I had done something and-"

Elliot starts putting the pieces together. "You had a flashback, to beating Lewis"

"Yes"

"And you think, like Laurel..that you may have been beating your father for what he did to your mother." Despite the conversation they're having, her heart warms at how well he knows her. At the fact that her El has been 2,765 miles away from her for 7 years and can still read her like he's right in front of her.

"I hadn't really given it thought before you know? But some of what she described, just..it was like I was seeing myself. Like all I really have is hatred..like everything I've done everyday of my life has been out of anger, out of hatred."

"No it hasn't" his voice is firm, but gentle. Holding her steady, giving her stability. "Listen to me Liv, you've done so much good. You have more love to give than you realize, there's not an evil bone in your body"

"I-"

"Olivia... do you love me?" She's taken aback, but answers without hesitation.

"Of course I do..very much."

"Even though I had to leave? Even though our only communication is through the phone once or twice a year? Do you still love me?"

"Always"

"Do you still love Cragen..even though he kept it a secret that I was put in Witness Protection? Even though he let you believe I abandoned you for 3 years, only telling you the truth when you begged him to tell you where I was because you were scared that if Lewis killed you you would never see me again?"

"I was mad at him but..of course I still love him. He's the father I never had."

"Do you still love your squad?"

"Yes, they're my family. Just like you are."

"Olivia all of those people I mentioned, even me, have put you through a lot of crap over the years whether you blame us or not. If it were really true that you were filled with nothing but anger and hate..how is it that you forgave us? That you still love us?"

That got to her.

"You wanna know what I see? I see passion, determination, strength, justice..and love, even for people who don't deserve it." She is quiet, but listening.

"Honey tell me this, do you think Laurel still deserves love? Despite her past? Do you think she is still capable of loving someone?"

"Yes, of course."

"Why are you any different?" The tears and shakiness are gone, just talking to him lifts the weight of last night off her shoulders..and puts strength back into her heart.

"I'm not."

"You deserve love just as much as anyone else, actually, to me, way more. And I don't see an ounce of hatred in you, not unless the person deserves it."

For the first time since last night, she smiles. And despite the miles between them, she can see his loving, signature smile too.

"I've gotta go now baby, but listen, they told me there's a good chance I'll be able to come home soon. I don't know when, but I promise you'll be the first to know."

"I wish you could come home now, I miss you El."

"I miss you too sweetheart, try to get some rest. Maybe we will be able to talk before another 11 months go by."

"I hope so. I love you so much."

"I love you too Liv, more than you'll ever know."

When they hang up, she feels refreshed, loved, confident.

Because no matter how many miles are between them, no matter how she hears his voice..he will always be

Her connection to strength.

A/N: I promise to update my other story soon, but this was just a little thing I thought of after last night's episode last night. Thanks for reading!