I hated how 4x11 (Family remains) ended so….:

"They took me off the rack and I tortured souls and I liked it, all those years, all that pain. Finally getting to deal some match yourself. I didn't care who they put in front of me, because- because that pain I felt; it just slipped away… No matter how many people I save, I can't change that, I can't fill this hole, not ever"

Sam looked at him, trying to understand the words coming out of his brother's lips as his poured his soul out… And Sam didn't know what to reply.

Dean wasn't crying this time, as he had done when he told him what really happened in Hell. Instead he just looked so mad.

"Dean…" Sam tried, but the sentence stopped there.

Dean didn't look at him; he was staring down at his feet and he tried to figure out what Sam was thinking; 'He thinks I'm monster'

But then Sam made up his mind and he took a step closer and tugged his arms around his brother and pulling him closer into a hug. Dean was confused and just kept his arms to his sides.

"This was not your fault Dean" Sam said "It's not your fault"

"Sam…" Dean tried to object, but Sam wouldn't let him as he broke their hug and took a firm hold on Dean's shoulders and looked straight into Dean's eyes.

"No, it's not your fault" Sam repeated himself "It's Lilith's and the hellhounds, and that Alastair guy's fault!"

"You don't understand" Dean said "You don't know what-"

"I don't care Dean, you're my brother" Sam said and patted Dean's left shoulder and then gripped it tight again.

"But Sam, listen to me!" Dean shouted, but he didn't pull away from Sam's death grip. "I tortured souls; nobody made me do it… I could have stayed on that rack and gotten what I deserved-"

"Deserved?" Sam asked "What are you talking about?"

"Never mind, the point is that it was my fault and I can't take it back!" He said and now Sam could see that Dean's eyes was filling up with tears, but his brother refused to actually cry.

"Fine, maybe it is partly your fault!" Now Sam was shouting as he shook Dean "But the only thing I'm going to blame you for is that you sacrificed yourself to save me… And you shouldn't have done that"

"Sammy" Dean whispered, not knowing how to object anymore "That was the only thing I did right"

Sam was the one who was struggling with keeping the tears back now as he really didn't know what to do he hugged Dean again and this time Dean hugged him back.

"You're here now" Sam said "We're here"

Dean didn't answer.

"But man, I'm choosing the gig next time because seriously; a couple of gross- rat eating- half human siblings who's father and grandfather are the same person?"

Dean laughed and pulled away from Sam "Yeah, sure thing"

"Let's get going" Sam said, like they had been stopping for coffee, not talking about Hell and sharing their feelings.

"Yeah" Dean said and stopped a little bit and looked over at Sam. "Hey Sam?"

Sam turned around "Yeah?"

"Thanks" Dean said and Sam nodded.

"Don't mention it"

-

Please R&R , it was kind of short .. : /