I do not own Harry Potter nor do i own
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hermione?
Stranger: Ron?
You: No it's Harry!
Stranger: Oh, sorry. Wishful thinking.
You: Is Ron not with you?
Stranger: No, he's at a bar right now.
You: Oh.
Stranger: Drinking firewhiskey and flirting with other witches.
You: Have you two split up?
Stranger: No, not yet.
You: Don't, you two are perfect for each other
Stranger: How are things with Ginny?
You: We split up
Stranger: : o
You: She found my stash of 'Wizards with Wands'
Stranger: Oh Merlin!
You: That's what she said
Stranger: You and Dumbledore would've been perfect for each other.
You: Lol, too old.... I have found somebody though
You: He's perfect
Stranger: who?
Stranger: Draco?
You: How did you guess?!
Stranger: Well who else?
Stranger: I always knew you had feelings for the ferret!!
You: He has the most amazingly tight little ass.... from all the Quidditch I'd expect
You: You mean when we were at school you saw all the fighting for what it really was?
Stranger: You know, I slept with Draco in 7th year.
You: ........... WHAT?
Stranger: Is that a problem?
You: He told me he was gay?
Stranger: He's bi, sweetie.
You: What about Ron? How could you do that to him?
Stranger: I was getting revenge for fleur Delacour!
You: Oh... wait... fleur and Ron?
Stranger: He didn't tell you?
You: He doesn't tell me anything anymore... not since he found out about Draco…
Stranger: Yes, he's quite jealous of all the attention Draco is getting.
You: What do you mean?
Stranger: He calls him "pretty boy"
You: Oh really?
Stranger: Yes, a snobby little rich boy.
You: He's just jealous.
Stranger: Are you going to let him continue insulting your bf?
You: Absolutely not!
Stranger: You need to confront the weasel.
You: The little bastard
Stranger: Or maybe have a threesome with the weasel and the ferret.
You: I don't think I could cope with the ginger
You: He'd be wayyy to enthusiastic
Stranger: Then you'll have to play hard to get.
You: Ummm..... I'll give it a go
You: Actually.... how about me, you and Draco?
Stranger: I was going to suggest that, but do you mind sharing Draco?
You: For you Hermione, not at all. It is only one night anyway
Stranger: It's just that old feelings might start arising. Sex with me would probably turn a gay guy straight again you see.
You: Oh no worries there... Draco bottoms if you know what I mean, anyway, no offence of anything but he'd never settle down with a muggleborn
Stranger: : o! Why you little-
You: Calm down Mione!
Stranger: Why I oughta
You: Oughta what?
Stranger: *petrificus totalus*!
You: *expelliarmus*!!!!!
You: *wins* I'm off to find Draco.... I'll fire call you later, if you're still talking to me…
Stranger: Do you know what
You: What?
Stranger: You think you're so great just because you defeated the dark lord.
You: Well I AM the golden boy
Stranger: But you're just a precocious little brat
Stranger: Humph
You: Whatever Mione you're just a filthy mudblood.
You: I only killed Voldemort so I could rise as a greater dark lord.
You: Why do you think me and Draco are such a perfect match?
Stranger: *Densaugeo*!!
You: *AVADA KEDAVRA*!
Stranger: You can't use the unforgivable
Stranger: Cause you're WEAK
You: I already did. You're talking to me through the grave
Stranger: Draco belongs to me! I had sex with him first!
Stranger: wut
Stranger: wut
You: I slept with him in 3rd year! We were well above our years sexually! Suck on that Granger!!!
Stranger: LIAR!
You: Not at all :P
Stranger: You're wrong
Stranger: Cause Draco was still a girl in 3rd year
Stranger: Bet you didn't know that huh?
You: He still had parts
You: Anyway, you're dead. Stop talking to me.
Stranger: *avada kedavra*
You: Already done.
Stranger: w/e, I came back from the dead
Stranger: If you could do it, I'm sure anyone can
You: Cissa helped me.
You: Doesn't that tell you Draco and I are perfect?
Stranger: no, he's too good for you
You: Bye dead mudblood! Off to find mah loverrrrrr.
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