N/A: hello, long time no see. Well, this suddenly came to my mind as both an experiment to start writing again and because of OTP feels and because something like that had been in my mind since quite some time, but I missed the right pairing. And Debriel seemed to me the ideal for this. Also, there might be a couple of headcanons of mine, so please, forgive me. Forgive me also for inaccuracy, I've just started rewatching SPN from S01 only in this period. Other than that, I hope you'll enjoy this. Oh, yeah, I was listening to Nightwish, don't mind that too much. Also, I might write a sequel to this, because I like too much happy endings.
Chapter 1 – Trickster's heart, hunter's tear
Why am I loved only when I'm gone
Gone back in time to bless the child.
Nightwish - Bless the child
- Deano, what a surprise.
Gabriel smirks, his arms crossed on his chest. The room he finds himself in right now is not entirely unexpected - figure out an abandoned warehouse full of symbols and sigils and in front of him Dean Winchester in flesh and bones. And much more that at the moment the archangel can ignore.
The hunter looks so serious, worried, Gabriel can't help but laugh. Suddenly Dean speaks.
- That's serious matter, I had to go through stuff I did not really like to get to you.
In fact, as Gabriel notices, the whole place is filled with everything is needed to summon a pagan god. He shakes his head with visible sarcasm in his expression. The tone he uses towards Dean matches perfectly that sarcasm.
- So, you summoned me just like you would summon a pagan god.
He makes a pause.
- Would you like to speak with the Trickster or with the Archangel?
It's Dean's turn to smirk, while he shows a stake imbibed with a trickster's victim's blood in one hand and an archangel blade in the other.
- I am fine with either, Gabe.
- And here I thought our little chat would be nice this time.
- I don't trust you.
- Oh, you don't? 'Cause last time it seemed that you wanted to trust me too much.
They keep bantering like that for some time until silence falls like a barrier between the two. The first one who speaks again, however, is Gabriel. He has been summoned after all.
- So, you summoned me in the end. What do you want from me?
Dean stays in silence for some more minutes, it seems that he did not expect Gabriel to come directly to the point. Better, the hunter thinks, leaves out unnecessary stuff. He clears his voice and says:
- I want your help. I need it.
Straight to the point as well. Gabriel squints his eyes, before bursting out in a loud laughter. He points a finger at Dean.
- I have to tell you, this is the best joke I've ever heard. You might have been a very good humourist.
- This is no joke, Gabe, fuck!
- What, Cassie dear can't help this time?
The sarcastic tone the archangel is using is full of bitterness and hurts Dean in a way that the hunter suddenly jumps at his throat wielding against his chest both the stake and the blade, but he does not hit the other. Everything falls back to silence, Dean and his anger and Gabriel and his surprise are now quite visible.
And this time it's Dean speaking, rage clear in his voice.
- Don't. Ever. Speak. Like. That. Anymore.
Gabriel takes in a deep breath, then slowly steps back. He looks at Dean, this time he is the one to be hurt, even though he doesn't want to show it. He raises up his hands.
- So this is the game you want to play.
He pauses.
- Allright, I'll play along with you, but it won't be nice.
- Stop going around and come to the point.
- As you wish.
Dean catches the venomous tone underneath the apparent quietness. It's the calm before the storm.
- You say you need my help, you want my help. Well, my answer is I will not help you anymore.
- You have no right to say that.
This time is Gabriel who lets out all his anger. He throws Dean against the nearest wall, the stake and the blade thrown at the angles of the warehouse, clutches the collar of his jacket and shouts at the top of his lungs.
- I have no right you say? I have all the rights, Dean Winchester!
He takes in a deep breath, calming down, then speaks more quietly, but still with bitterness and anger hidden under that layer.
- I have all the rights, you dumb fucker.
- Why would you have the right to not help me?
Dean weakly tries to reply.
- Because I have never blackmailed you or your brother like Castiel did - or have you forgotten the "I am the one who raised you from perdition and you will do as I wish" thing?
- You don't know what you're saying.
- I don't? I do know what I'm saying too well.
Gabriel lets out a bitter laughter.
- Why do you think Castiel is crazy? Because you and I had already a bond ever since Starla and the purple nurple-
- That happened years ago!
- But it happened a lot before any of my brothers came into the picture. And I might have forgotten I was an angel, but I felt it. And then I did not feel it anymore and I realised it was broken when I finally remembered, in TV Land, that I was Gabriel, the archangel.
He steps back, then clutches his own hands into fists.
- You say I don't know what I'm saying? I know. Castiel broke the bond we had - call it that sort of messed up relationship made up of banterings and mutual respect - that's why he's crazy. No angel forces a bond, or they'll become crazy.
- You lie.
- Try me.
Silence falls again. It's Gabriel again who breaks the unnatural wall they both have raised.
- And nevertheless I tried helping both you and Sam, in my crazy and distorted way. The first time I offered you a deal. Let me go. I will not hurt you and the ones you love. The second time I tried helping Sam dealing with your death, which would have happened several months later. And in the end I even gave up my life. For you, overcoming the fact that I could not kill my brother, just like you can't kill yours.
He raises up a hand. Breathes deeply, as if telling Dean all that has cost him quite a lot. Which is truue, but Gabriel ignores the detail.
- I did not want to say all this, but you have forced me. Now you deal with it.
- You're just trying to make me feel even more guilty.
- It hurts me more than you think.
- Liar.
Gabriel does not reply, not immediately. Liar, that word, is too much for him to take. He speaks again, the truth is clear.
- You're the only one I've never lied to. You're the only one I've never betrayed.
Unlike Castiel, he thinks, but he keeps that for himself.
Now the archangel's tone is sad, still, it keeps its anger.
Dean seems to be thinking. Then something comes to his mind. It seems impossible, but for Dean it may be the only plausible explanation for Gabriel's behaviour. He hesitates, but the words come out anyway.
- You love me?
Gabriel lets out another bitter laughter.
- I loved you. Now I am not sure of that anymore.
- Why?
- I am tired of being hurt by the ones I love. I am tired of having to demonstrate something all the time.
He makes a pause.
- I will not help you, Dean, not this time. Unless something changes my mind, which I think it will be impossible.
Dean now is sure he has been hit so hard he doesn't even have words to reply with.
- Gabe...
He tries. The archangel shuts him up.
- Don't. Don't say anything, because I don't want to hear you right now.
Gabriel does not want to be hurt anymore.
- I've already decided. At the moment this is a farewell. I told you that playing this game with me would not be nice.
Without further words Gabriel leaves.
Dean knows that Gabriel has all the rights to leave and he does not try to stop him. When Gabriel's presence is already far away, all that Dean is left with is emptiness, once again. When he reaches the Impala, outside, he shakes his head at Sam's perplexed look. When Castiel gets closer, he pushes him away without a word, glancing at him in such a way that for a moment it seems both to the angel and to Sam that Dean might loathe Castiel. The hunter finally gets on the Impala.
- Hey, what's up with you?
Sam asks, he is worried, he does not imagine what has happened.
- I'm going to raid a bar. Don't look out for me.
It's the laconic answer Dean gives Sam, before starting the car and leaving to an unknown location. Sam just shakes his head and looks at Castiel, who knows for sure, he can tell that by the guilty look on his face.