Series: Kingdom Hearts II
Warnings: Shounen-ai, mild angst? Major SPOILERS!
Pairings: Riku-Sora. ish. Slight Sora-Kairi.
PoV {point of view}: First person, Riku.
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"No, Riku! Don't leave!"
Her voice was high pitched, begging. She ran forward, grabbed my arm and held me back. I couldn't pull away—didn't dare.
"Riku?"
His voice, the voice I had longed to hear for who knows how long? The soft, almost nerdy, but so terribly him voice… was riddled with confusion, disbelief. I wanted to turn away; I didn't want to look into those vibrant cerulean orbs… But I turned; my yellow eyes met those azure orbs and my brain froze. I stopped thinking.
Don't look at me. I'm not… I'm nothing. Nobody.
"Kairi…?" My heart, what the darkness had left of me, twisted in my chest. "What…? That's not Riku…"
"Come here, Sora." I tried to tell my arm to pull away from her, get away, go away, get into the darkness and never look back! But I would not move. I could only stare as he came forward, took her hand…then mine. "Here. Close your eyes. You'll understand."
Shielded by his lashes, I could only watch as he took my hand, reached into himself for the light…and saw me for what I was.
No, Sora…don't… Don't speak, just let go… Let me leave. Don't…
"Riku!" Tears? He was…no, he couldn't be. He shouldn't cry. "I looked everywhere for you!"
He fell to the floor, held my hand so tight… I couldn't let go. I wasn't sure if I wanted to, now that I…
"I didn't want you to find me," I said softly, looking down at him sadly. Those tears…they were so out of place on his beautiful face. He was a happy guy. He smiled all the time. He never cried.
I hated that I was the first to make him cry.
"Why?"
He was so genuine. Was it any wonder I…? His voice, so low now, so choked on emotion, was nothing but true curiosity. Could I tell him? Should I tell him? Gazing into those eyes, I had to. I knew I had to.
"Look at me, Sora, look at what I've become. I had to become stronger. I had to become darkness in order to wield it." I looked away. I couldn't stare at those eyes anymore…
I did it for you.
"Riku…"
………….
We sat on the beach now. Xemnas was no more. Defeated, just like the other Nobodies, just like the rest of the Organization. I wanted to tell him everything… But where would I start?
"Sora… Remember what I said back there? About…thinking I was better than you?"
He turned, looked at me. I could see it from the corner of my eye. He watched me, even as I 'watched' him.
"Yeah?"
I wanted to show you so much… I wanted to show you how I felt…
"The truth is… I was jealous of you."
"Of me? What for?"
"How you could always smile and just live so carefree… I wanted that."
I wanted you.
"Riku…"
I couldn't turn to him, no matter how much I wanted. I wanted, so badly, to turn, grab him and push him down to the dark sand. I wanted to show him the truth!
…But I couldn't. My body would not move. He turned forward again and we listened to the waves in silence.
………….
That was when I knew. When he read the letter…when his heart opened the door to light.
He loved her.
What place did I have in his heart? As…as nothing more than a best friend?
Don't give up. I won't give you up.
"Nothing's changed, has it?" I asked. We were on our island. I sat on the side-ways tree, he leaned against it. Kairi was on the beach, way beyond earshot.
"No, I guess not."
Tell him. Tell him now.
"Hard to believe it's the same small world…"
"Yeah, but part of one that's much bigger."
I turned to him, opened my mouth…
Now or never!
"Riku! Sora!"
Kairi. She was running toward us, holding something. She handed it to Sora.
"From the king!?"
He pulled it open, read it aloud...
But I never had my chance again. I would always sit in the shadows as he courted and eventually….
It is for the best.