Disclaimer: Hey everyone! This is my first Knights of the Old Republic fan fiction. It is a one shot about Revan's revelation and the deliberation of what to do after the Leviathan and Bastila's capture. I got this idea from the song, Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails so I don't own the song or the title, or any of the KOTOR characters except for Kaylenne Links, my LSFemale Revan. Enjoy!
Right Where It Belongs
"Darth Malak," Bastilla hissed, igniting her lightsaber. I followed suit, crouching in a combat stance, watching the Sith Lord stalk towards us.
"Down you go!" I heard Carth proclaim and his pistol resounded around us in the echoic room, aiming for Darth Malak. He laughed as he Force pushed Carth into the wall, back and head colliding with it. I ground my teeth together. Despite Carth's sudden change in attitude towards me, how dare Malak do that to him! Calm yourself, Kay. There is no emotion, there is on-"
"I hope you don't plan on leaving so soon, Bastilla. It was very hard tracking you and your companions for this long," Malak's mechanical voice broke my attempt to silence my anger. "I have wasted too much effort to let you escape so easily. Plus, I had to see with my own eyes…" his voiced trailed off as he stared intently at me. I raised my eyebrows at him in confusion.
"Why did the Jedi spare you? Was it vengeance you seek?"
I swallowed hard before speaking. "What are you talking about?"
Malak laughed coldly. "You mean you don't know? After all this time and you never realized…I had thought some of your old self would resurface by now. Even the worthless Jedi Council couldn't bury your true self, could it?"
"My true self? You've completely lost me. I've never had another 'self'." He laughed at me again and walked towards me. I stepped back, light saber ignited still, until I suddenly became paralyzed. That bastard!
"I think it would be much easier for me to show you rather than explain…" and everything else faded into darkness.
I was suddenly on Dantoonie and Bastilla was standing somewhat in front of me and as she noticed my presence, she turned to me.
"The Jedi do not believe in killing their prisoners. No one deserves execution, no matter what their crimes," she stated.
And then I was at the Jedi Enclave, in front of Master Zhar. He spoke softly. "The Jedi usually don't take adults into training, but this is a very special case…" I furrowed my brows in confusion as I was taken back to Taris, in the apartments with Carth.
"They say the Force can do horrible things to a mind." Wait a second! I remember this conversation!
Carth continued on, "It can wipe away your memories and destroy your very identity!"
"Carth, what is going o-" I stuttered, but he was gone within seconds. I had switched to another flash back, this one showing a Star Map in front of me.
"Tatooine, Kashyyyk, Manaan, Korriban," Bastilla's voice rang in my ears and we were standing in the room where we found the first Star Map on Dantoonie in the ruins. "Revan visited each of these worlds searching for clues to reveal the hidden location of the Star Forge."
As I opened my mouth to speak, Master Vrook's face appeared in front of me.
"The lure of the dark side is difficult to resist." No duh, Master, I remember myself thinking when being questioned by the Jedi Council. "I fear this quest to find the Star Forge could lead you down an all too familiar path."
That sentence isn't familiar to me, as the others were. I suppose I was too busy mocking him in my head to notice. What did he mean by an "all too familiar path?" Why am I having these flashbacks?!
I returned to Bastilla, back in the fields on Dantoonie. "What greater weapon is there to turn your enemy to your cause? To use their own knowledge against them?"
I remember her mentioning that, but why are all these conversations I've already had being forced together? Why is this happening? What's wrong with me? They're all so confusing but yet have some underlying theme…
Everything suddenly got really hazy, my eyes clouded with sudden darkness. I can only make out bits of pieces. I recognize the Star Map, what's up with those anyway? But then I notice a red light slice through the haze as a deep, blood red mask peered at me. I know I have seen that mask somewhere, but where is the question. Wait there's Bastilla! But now all I see is a Star Map, and then I was back to the masked Jedi, back to Bastilla, to masked Jedi, back and forth, back and forth. Suddenly, the ship rocks violently and an explosion appeared right behind the masked Jedi, causing them to fall onto their back, limps.
The unexpected bright light hurts my eyes as I close in on a figure. It was that same Jedi Bastilla was fighting on the ship! Why does that scenario sound so damn familiar? I close in on the masked Jedi, wind blowing their cape behind them. The Jedi slowly reaches up to the mask, struggling to remove it. Maybe I'll finally recognize this Jedi! The fact that I can't remember is starting to frustrate me. The Jedi removes the mask forcefully. My heart beats out of my chest in anticipation as the Jedi looks up at me slowly, revealing their identity.
Wait, is that-
"NOOOOO!!!!" I hear echoing throughout the hall. I realize it was I who was screaming. I'm sweating hard, my hair drenching in it, as my adrenaline shoots up in fear. I was crouched on the ground, light saber slammed on the ground, making an indention in my hand as it slowly bleeds from the impact. I sit up on my knees and I have to force my eyes open, swollen from crying. I stood up and as I was healing my minor wound, I remembered why I was reacting this way. I remembered who that Jedi was. That was Revan, the former Dark Lord of the Sith. No one knew her true identity, until now. I had witnessed Revan revealing her identity to me, to find that I was staring at an exact replication of my own face.
"Why?" I spoke to all of them, my voice hoarse from screaming. "Everyone knew but me?" I turn to Bastilla, my eyes narrowed at her. "You knew the whole damn time, didn't you?!"
Bastilla's mouth opened slightly, slightly off guard from my outburst, but Malak cut her off.
"That is exactly what I want to know, my old Master. Why did the Jedi Council spare you? More importantly, how did you not DIE when I attacked your ship?!" Malak grabbed at my throat, his nostrils flaring in anger. He was way too close for my liking, especially since he had an intention to kill me. I force pushed him off me, sending him into the door and myself backwards into Carth, who caught me before we flew into the wall behind us. I noticed Malak heading straight towards me, light saber behind him, ready to strike. Suddenly, a wave of yellow broke between us and Bastilla began fighting Malak, pushing him back into another room.
"Get back to the ship! I'll hold him off!" she screamed at me through our bond.
"Bastilla, no! That's exactly what he wants! Let us help you!"
"No, Revan, we need you! That's the whole point of the Council redeeming you! Find the Star Maps! And I'm also really sorry-"
"Basty, I forgive you, but now isn't the time for this. Like you said, we gotta go."
"May the Force be with you, Revan."
"You, too."
Throughout our short mind conversation, Carth had pushed me off of him, disgust painted on his face as he scrambled to his feet. I flipped myself up and noticed that he was about to go to Bastilla's aid. I caught him around the arm tightly, holding him back. Good thing, too, because as I pulled him back towards me, the door slammed shut, locking itself as the two Jedi fought it out. The light sabers smacking each other still resounded through the door. Carth broke free of my grip and started banging on the door.
"BASTILLA!"
"Carth, we have to get out of here," I stuttered impatiently. I was still in shock of everything. I was Revan and Bastilla just sacrificed herself for my escape. Why does my life seem to get more complicated everywhere I go? Oh yeah, I'm a redeemed Sith Lord. That should cause some issues. I summoned the light saber I had dropped when Malak choked me, opening doors to see which way was quickest and safest for us to escape.
"You're just going to leave her here?!" Carth turned towards me, outraged at my suggestion.
"We don't have any other choice! Malak's blocked both of them off from us and if we don't get out, we're sure going to get killed by his minions."
Carth tried to protest, but came to his senses, despite his stubborn pigheadedness, and nodded. We went out the south door and turned left, running as I sensed some of Malak's crew headed for us. I contacted Canderous on my comm link.
"We need a fast escape. Get the ship ready for Carth to get us the hell off this ship. Tell everyone else to strap in."
"I'm on it," he replied and it disconnected.
About ten minutes later, after fighting only a small group of Malak's crew who tried to stop us, we ran onto the ramp of the Ebon Hawk. Once inside, Carth pushed me harshly out of his way to the cockpit. Irritated, I followed to help him punch in hyper drive coordinates.
The ship got out safely, until we realized there were about ten fighters behind us.
"Someone get on those damn gun turrets!" Carth exclaimed, pressing random buttons I didn't know what they did and I jumped out of my seat. I attempted to push Canderous into the co-pilot seat to assist Carth. He got the message and sat down. I headed off to the gun turrets. I crashed into walls, doors, tripped over fallen objects, but finally got to the turrets. Focusing, I shot rapidly into space, taking out all ten of the fighters easily. They were stupid enough to crowd around the ship where I could shoot them down easily. Impressed with my work, I walked back to the control room, where everyone was standing, staring at me. I stopped in my tracks abruptly in the doorway.
"Well, Kaylenne," Carth started sarcastically, "everyone's waiting. Why don't you tell them your big secret?"
I cursed under my breath. "I thought you would've beaten it to me, Onasi."
"Oh, I would have but I didn't want to spoil the fun."
"Would you two stop acting like an arguing married couple and tell is what the hell is going on? Where's Bastila?" Jolee exclaimed and then muttered, "Damn kids," under his breath.
Everyone was looking at me. I sighed heavily. "We ran into Malak and she didn't make it back."
"You mean sh-she's dead?!" Mission cried, tears welling up.
"Bah. Malak won't kill her," Jolee explained. "Don't be foolish. He'll want to use her battle mediation against the Republic. Turn her to the dark side and the Sith will always be victorious."
"We can't help Bastilla…not unless we find the Star Forge," I stated.
"Whoa, whoa whoa. Not so fast," Carth interrupted me. I glared at him, I knew what he was going to say and I was not looking forward to my companion's reactions. It'll be by the luck of the Force they won't kick me off the ship. "We've got bigger issue to deal with here. They deserve to know the truth about you. Do you want to tell them Malak said, or should I?"
"I'm sure you would love to, but I'm sorry Carth. I don't give a damn what Malak said. I am NOT Darth Revan- I'm Kaylenne Links!"
The entire mood in the room shifted into shock. I held my glare of daggers at Carth until Mission spoke.
"Revan? What…what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"
I opened my mouth to reply but Carth, like always, had to open his big fat mouth and go on his over dramatics.
"No, it's not joke. The Jedi Council captured Revan and erased the Dark Lord's mind, programming in a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the Leviathan and Bastilla confirmed it!"
Mission took a step towards me.
"You're Darth Revan? This…this is BIG. Do you…um, do you remember anything about being the Dark Lord?"
A flash of Revan's mask etched itself in front of my eyeballs, causing me to blink hardly to make it go away.
"Small bits…a few strange dreams and visions. That's all."
"And so the lies begin," Carth spout out. "It was obvious you remembered something back there when Malak confronted you with the truth. It might have been small pieces, but there was something there!"
"Yeah, conversations I've had with all of you after the memory wipe, talking about Revan, Star Maps, whatever! It had nothing to do with my past." He just rolled his eyes.
"That's it? Just a few flashes? Nothing more? Then I don't think there's a problem." I smiled at the blue Twi'lek. I had hoped she would stick by me. "It seems to me that if you don't really remember anything about Revan, then it doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now, right?"
"Of course it matters!" Carth exclaimed, waving his arms around in the air in exasperation. "How do we know more memories won't come flooding back? How do we know Revan won't suddenly turn on us? The whole time we've been chasing after Malak we've had his old Sith Master right at our side; listening to our secrets, hearing our plans!"
"Republic, stop being paranoid," Canderous scolded lazily, rolling his eyes.
"Paranoid? How can I NOT be paranoid with-"
"I'm NOT the Dark Lord anymore, Carth!!" I cried. I couldn't take it any more; tears were welling up in my eyes. "I'm Kay, I'm one of YOU!"
Carth tried to protest, but Mission threw a medpac at him to make him shut up. She turned to me and walked up, taking my hands.
"We know you didn't ask for this…well, I know you didn't. Besides, I know you…you're not Revan anymore. Whatever you used to be, you're one of us now!" And the Twi'lek hugged me. I smiled and hugged her back. It was so good to have her on my side.
"I agree with Mission," Zaalbar growled softly. "I swore a life-debt to the person you are, not to the person you were."
"Biz Z and I will stick by you. We owe you our lives; we won't desert you now!"
"Thanks, guys," I smiled, but when Carth spoke again, I frowned. He was being so damn persistent, and for good reason.
"How can you say that, Mission?" He stammered. "The Sith bombed my home world! Revan took away my family and destroyed my life!"
"Everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to attack your people, Carth," Canderous interrupted. "You can't blame Revan for that."
Carth took a step towards me, being mellow for the first time since I had confessed my real identity. He scratched the back of his neck.
"It just doesn't make sense…I've seen you do so many charitable acts, I've seen your light side…but I still don't know if I can trust you. Can any of us?"
I clenched my jaw and turned to Jolee. "What about you, old man?"
"What about me? I already knew who you were, though it wasn't my place to tell you. Better off that you know if you ask me. Does it change anything? I'm not here to judge you. You'll do what you have to, and I'll help if I can."
"Thank you, Jolee. What about you, Canderous?" I turned to the Mandalorian.
"You defeated the Mandalore clans in the war, Revan. You were the only one in the galaxy who could best us. We had never met one like you before, and never since. How can you even ask if I will follow you? Whatever you are fighting, it will be worthy of my skill. I'm your name until the end, Revan, no matter how this plays out."
"I had to check. Thanks, Canderous." I smiled at him. "HK-47?"
"Commentary: I am…experiencing something unusual, master." The assassin droid stated.
"Why? What's happening?" I questioned. I was praying he wouldn't go on the fritz and start killing us all in our sleep.
"Answer: My programming is activating my deleted memory core. I believe I have a…a homing system that is restoring, master."
"Your homing system? What's that?"
"Answer: It is a function of my assassination protocols…that which I told you had be deactivated. This system was not. It seems that the homing system deliberately restores my deleted memory core upon…upon returning to my original master."
"You mean…" I started. "Revan?"
"Affirmation: Correct, master. Sith protocols maintain that all droid knowledge be deleted before assassination missions, and restored upon return. I have returned to you and my full functionality is now under your personal command. It is a distinct pleasure to see you again, master."
"Good, so long as you're loyal."
"Commentary: I believe I have served you well in the past, master, and will continue to do so for as long as you have need of me."
"Wow," Mission was baffled. "What are the chances of that happening?"
"Remember we're talking about the Force here," Canderous interjected. "At this point Malak himself could drop out of the sky and I wouldn't bat an eyelash."
"Good point," she replied.
As they were talking, I walked over to my T3 unit. I squatted down next to it. "You won't abandon me, will you T3?"
"Beep! Beep! Beep! Woop-wooooooop!"
"I knew the little guy would come through for you," Mission beamed. "Droids don't hold grudges."
"I knew he would, too." I patted the droid on the head and stood up, turning to Carth.
"Well? Will you stand with me against Malak?"
"The others seem to trust you," He spoke softly. "And I don't see any other way that we can stop the Sith. And I suppose that Malak is the real enemy here…." He spoke up. "I really don't have any other choice, do I?"
I sighed and walk up to him, placing my hands on his shoulders, looking at him straight in the eyes.
"I'm not Revan, anymore, Carth. You have to believe that."
"As long as this mission stays on course, I'll stick with you. But I won't let you betray the Republic under any circumstances!"
He was avoiding his commitment to trust me. I had just gained it and I lost it within a few spoken dying words by his old mentor. I looked down sadly and removed my hands from his shoulders, letting them hang at my sides. "Fine. I guess it can work that way…"
"Yeah, I guess that's it then. We keep going. We've still got one more Star Map to uncover if we're going to find that Star Forge and save Bastilla. So let's do it before it's too late."
"I'll plot a course for Korriban- that's the last planet we need to visit and for sure will be the hardest. And then I would appreciate it if no one bother me for a few hours…I need to think and mediate." I headed to the cockpit and placed the coordinates into the Galaxy Map. Carth walked by without even acknowledging me, asking me if I was okay, nothing. No sympathy from the Republic soldier to the ex-Sith Lord. I wiped the forming tears from my eyes and spoke up.
"The coordinates are in. She's good to go." With that, I left the cockpit and entered my room, closing the door and locking it from the inside. I slid down the door and let the tears fall freely as I hugged my knees to my chest, closing my eyes, and letting the image of Revan unmasked that was burned into the back of my eyelids overtake me and drag me into the vivid images of death, destruction, and my hands covered in split innocent blood.
That was the first night I truly dreamt I was Revan, the Dark Lord of the Sith.
Right where it belongs.
Authors Note: So, you see the button down at the button? You should click it and write something nice and constructive. No flames please, they are not cool and even though I could handle it, flamers are lamers and just plain irritate me Thanks for reading! Now, review away~!
