Disclaimer: Do not own.
I'm kind of surprised I haven't written a Johanna-based story before, as she's one of my favourite characters, but then I got the idea for this out of nowhere and it just came really easily to me. Thank Jena Maloney and her awesome portrayal of her for that, I suppose. Minor ship-teasing throughout, mainly Jinnick and a bit of Jomitch (yes, really), Everlark and Katanna, if you squint.
Enjoy!
1. Nothing felt more right to her than the weight of an axe in her hands. From that moment on, she knew who she was.
2. Every new person she is introduced to, Johanna always imagines what they would be like in bed. Then she smirks to herself and she loves it that people have no idea why.
3. It annoys her that people don't understand just how broken Finnick really is; you don't have to be a hopeless drunk, drug addict or madman to be secretly fucked up.
4. Pretending to be a helpless weakling is one of the hardest things she's ever had to do. Killing people is much easier for Johanna than being ridiculed.
5. Occasionally, she still hears Wiress' voice tick tock in her head, when she is caught between sleeping and being awake. When she does, it takes all of Johanna's self-control not to violently smash something.
6. Aside from the unoriginality of it, the real reason Johanna hates dressing up like a tree is because she knows there's nothing that can truly bloom in the world they live in. It's just another lie.
7. Johanna cuts her hair short because sometimes she has nightmares about her head being yanked back and an unseen blade piercing her throat.
8. She's still a little disappointed she never got to fight Enobaria- Johanna liked to imagine smashing her teeth out of the Career's face. Fangs won't do much good against the blade of an axe.
9. As rainwater prickles her skin, she remembers her limbs convulsing in agony and her mouth opening to shred her throat with yet another scream, but she dashes out into the storm anyway. Johanna Mason is many things, but weak has never been one of them.
10. When she wakes in the Capitol after the Quarter Quell, her knuckle aches and she recalls, with some satisfaction, that she punched a solider in the face before giving in to the tranquilizer in her arm.
11. As the crowd gasps upon seeing Katniss in her fairytale wedding dress (how tacky); Johanna irresistibly begins imagining what it would look like splattered with blood.
12. One day, Johanna is determined to live to be as old as Mags was.
13. Sometimes, she looks at Annie and thinks that she looks like somebody who is drowning. Johanna thinks that Finnick likes being someone's lifeline.
14. It's all Johanna can do not to start screaming and never stop- blood falls relentlessly, nearly knocking herself, Beetee and Wiress to the floor with the strength of the downpour, and the smell is like being trapped in an abattoir. Johanna imagines Snow, with his permanent blood-breath, dreaming this up and smirking. She grits her teeth.
15. She refuses to try morphling, even though she can see the appeal of sticking a needle in your arm and making it all go away. But she knows it's just what Snow would want. Johanna would never give him that satisfaction.
16. She finds it peculiar, the way everyone looks at her after the Jabberjay's depart. They knew she was a murderer before, but it's only now that they seem to be truly afraid of her.
17. After the Quarter Quell, the taste of coconuts made Johanna feel sick.
18. Her Capitol stylists tried to pretty her up for her pre-Games interview, but Johanna would always rip her dresses or suddenly acquire a huge stain from spilled booze or food on them, and eventually they knew it was a lost cause.
19. Watching Katniss' grey eyes dart uncomfortably away from her as she peels off her ridiculous costume makes Johanna want to laugh. Not so stoic now.
20. Haymitch Abernathy is one of the few people who has never fallen for any of her bullshit- she has to respect him for that.
21. She can hear Peeta's hysterical screams from across the hall, whenever her own stop ringing in her ears. She is surprised that listening to someone being tortured is almost as bad as being tortured itself.
22. Panting and soaked to the very bone, she stares out the Peacekeeper each time he flicks the switch that causes powerful jolts to wrack through her body. Johanna can wring a small drop of satisfaction that he's the one who lowers his gaze first.
23. Haymitch is the one who busts open the door to her cell. For an apathetic drunk, he's much stronger than he looks. Johanna is so pleased to see him that she pretty much collapses into him, her legs too numb to bear her weight.
24. She barely remembers her family any more, but she still owns a music box that belonged to her mother. Johanna never plays the melody inside it, but each time she tries to throw it away, a lump appears in her throat and she just can't go through with it.
25. If you were to ask her how she would like to be remembered, Johanna would simply smirk and say, "The girl with the axe works for me."
26. The smell of sawdust makes her think of home; even know she knows that it's too late to go back now.
27. When Johanna became truly alone in her District, she took gasoline and burnt down the house she grew up in. When people demanded to know why, she couldn't answer. But she still smiled every time she walked past the blackened ruin.
28. Even Johanna has a soft spot for Primrose Everdeen; that's why she doesn't immediately punch the girl in the face when she wakes up to Prim dabbing at a cut on her arm.
29. Johanna will sit and watch bonfires for hours. She likes the way a fire takes in everything given to it, and only blazes brighter in response.
30. Every birthday, she gets horrifically drunk and usually passes out wherever she happens to be at the time, even if it's in a pool of her own vomit. Everyone else knows better than to try moving her.
31. As part of her act in the Games, Johanna would force herself to cry at the sound of the canons and the music that followed as each dead Tribute's face flashed up in the sky. The tears even tasted artificial on her lips.
32. It disgusts her how many parachutes she gets, once she makes her first kill. She kicks the dead boy at her feet into the river, leaving a puddle of blood on the floor from where her axe split his skull.
33. The last person from District Seven won his Games because he managed not to die from hypothermia before the last remaining Tribute dropped dead. Johanna feels like that was cheating.
34. When Peeta rants and raves as Katniss is escorted out of the dining hall, Johanna slurps his abandoned soup and imagines pinning the other girl- Pelly, was that really her name?- to the floor, just to freak her out even more.
35. When she stumbles across a picture of Caesar Flickerman in a magazine, she amuses herself by getting a pen and blackening every single one of his stupid, pearly white teeth.
36. She has considered getting plastic surgery- maybe a nice set of claws- but she feels like it would make her closer to a Capitol sheep if she did.
37. It is traditional in Seventh to name people after plants, usually trees. Johanna got off lightly for her first name, but she refuses to tell people her middle one.
38. She finds the idea of the stiff, taciturn Katniss having sex with anyone laughable, but she's still impressed by how convincingly Peeta can lie.
39. She thrashes in Finnick's grip as he carries her into the water, her arms flailing wildly as he dunks her in, until she latches onto his arm and gives it a hard yank. It pisses her off that he's still laughing when she resurfaces.
40. As Beetee goes over his plan, crouched in the sand, Johanna has no idea how much of a part electricity will play in her future.
41. She never liked Coin, but it wasn't until the Capitol's bombing that she could articulate why.
42. Johanna looks at Finnick's newborn son and feels inexplicably angry at the tiny child. She doesn't know why, but it might have something to do with the fact he has Finnick's eyes.
43. Eyes closed for full impact, Johanna slowly cracks one open and her face breaks out into a smirk at the just-dyed patches of red in her hair. She's always liked red, but the reasons for it have changed significantly.
44. She's seen Haymitch's Games on re-runs of past Victors, but watching him duck and the axe fly into the other girl's chest makes her feel uncomfortable. She isn't sure if she would have seen a trick like that coming.
45. Johanna would be lying if she said that she was glad all the Tributes from her Games were dead, because she wasn't. But she was happier that they weren't her.
46. Part of her, as ridiculous and obscene as it is, is still a little offended that she's not considered attractive enough for prostitution. But she sees Finnick's fakefakefake smile and feels disgusted with herself.
47. Smacking Katniss on the back of the head with the coil felt good, but jamming a knife into her arm made Johanna both excited and repulsed and she couldn't understand why she felt anything about it at all.
48. Johanna is grateful she hasn't yet been a Mentor. She knows that "don't die" is not sufficient advice, but it worked for her.
49. Once, upon hearing that Pollux was an Avox, Johanna walked up to him and kissed him, feeling the mutiltated stub of his tongue with her own, a sense of disgusted curiosity urging her on. She's never explained to anyone why she did it.
50. Sometimes, she will sit on a grassy-covered hill, watching the skyline. She cannot drown out the screams or block out the blood that resurfaces in her dreams. But she can, at least, know that they are free. That is a Game she was proud to be a part of.
Reviews would be wonderful. Thanks for reading!