Second Chances

            Court ran late.  My closing didn't go over well.  Rumor is that we barely got a conviction.  And now Serena's asking me why I'm in such a good mood.  How can I tell her that I just got my second chance?  I screwed up royally.  I got scared.  My son is a year and a half now and I barely know him.  I still can't believe that Abbie is giving me a second chance.  I'm scared.  Me, John James McCoy, afraid…of a woman, no less.  Who would have thought it?  What if I screw up this time too?  I know how lucky I am; that's the problem.  I still don't see what she sees in me, but then again, Abbie always had this effect on me.

            "Jack!"  Serena's trying to get my attention again.

            "Sorry.  Um…I have a date tonight."  She looks shocked and amazed.  "Right now actually.  And you don't have to look like the impossible just happened."

            "Sorry.  I just…I've never known you to have a real date.  Do I know her?"

            I shook my head.  "You never met her."

            "Do I need to keep the coffee on tomorrow morning?"  The next day was Saturday and we usually work then too.  Then I notice the teasing grin on her face.

            "Go home and see Ben."  I tease her back about the defense attorney she's been seeing.  I think she's pretty serious about him and he seems like a good guy.  I'm happy for her…as happy as Lennie was for me this afternoon. I still remember his words as I watch Serena leave the room.  Good job, counselor.  Now just don't screw it up this time.  In Lennie's own little way, I know that he thinks I'll be okay…if I'm not late.
            My arms are full of groceries as I knock on the door so that the sitter will let me in.  I had to take a cab; I'll get my motorcycle later, but I didn't want to take a chance on messing up the flowers or the food.  I still have on the suit I wore to court today, plus the tie that Abbie and Nora, and now Serena, always tease me about.

            "Mr. McCoy."  The sitter that I have only met a handful of times opens the door for me.  "Ms. Carmichael told me you might be here before she is.  She's still at court."  I nod, expecting this.  Abbie quit the office to have two things: a bigger arena and more time with Austin, our son.  Normally, she quits work about seven, but tonight, I'm here at six.  I want everything to be perfect when she arrives.  "He's playing with his toys.  Do you want me to stay until she gets here?"

            I shake my head.  I think I can handle him for an hour.  "You can go ahead home."  She lives a few houses down, convenient when Abbie has to work weird hours.

            "Okay.  Tell Ms. Carmichael I'll be here at seven Monday unless she needs me some other time."  I nod. Abbie usually takes Austin into work on the weekends or brings her work home.  She leaves and I go down the hall to Austin's room first.

            "Dadda?"  He sounds surprised and I have to smile.  Brown hair, brown eyes, and his mother's personality; Austin is the best thing I've done in quite a while.  He runs over to me, smiling.

            "Hey, buddy."  I drop down to eye level with him.  "You wanna go watch a movie?"  He smiles, running to the couch in the living room while I find his favorite movie, Aladdin and the King of Thieves.

            After he's comfortable, I walk back to the kitchen and begin to unpack the groceries.  I know that Abbie would be just as comfortable with pizza or takeout, but I figure I better cook and make it good.  I take out the steaks, search for the seasonings, and finally put them outside on her grill.  Nora taught me to make a green bean casserole, one of the few vegetables Abbie actually likes, and I begin to work on that while I wait for the steaks to cook.  I hear Austin laughing from the living room; he actually likes the bad guy, Sa'luk.  I smile and look out the window to see Abbie's SUV pull up.

            "You're already here." She says, getting out, and I feel my breath being taken away.

            "Yeah.  You finally agreed to dinner, so I figured it better be good."

            She smiled.  "Where's Austin?"

            "Watching Aladdin and the King of Thieves."

            Abbie rolls her eyes, still smiling.  "What can I help with?"  She asks as we walk into the house.

            "Nothing.  This is my responsibility.  Go change."  She complies and I return to the kitchen.  The casserole is cooking, as are the potatoes, so I flip the meat on the grill and go inside to set the table and make iced tea.

            Abbie comes back to the kitchen, dressed more casually, and stands there to talk to me.  "How's work?"

            "Good.  We won our case today.  What about you?"

            "Ugh.  Busy.  Your boss came to talk to my boss today."

            "Arthur?"  I frown, but don't really worry.

            She nods.  "God, I'm not even in your office anymore and I still miss Nora."

            He nods.  "Arthur's all right, but he's not her or Adam.  He called the other day."  I begin to tell her about our old boss who's currently working with Holocaust survivors.

            "He seems to really enjoy that."  I nod.  "And how's Serena?"

            "Good.  She's dating a defense attorney.  I like him and she seems happy."  I can't tell her what I think, that, as much as I like Serena, she's more like a daughter and I still miss Abbie in the office.

            "That's good. And Lennie?"

            "He's good.  He and Nora go out sometimes to a movie or something, but he's pretty busy with work too."  Nora and Lennie aren't really dating, just going out to have fun, something they both need.  The potatoes and casserole finish about the same time.  "Austin will eat this, won't he?"

            "I'll take care of it."  She says, getting out a little divided plate for him.  "Why don't I feed him first and then he can play so we can talk some more?"  I agree and she moves Austin to the bar, helping him eat, as I go to check on the meat and get out the only thing I did not fix, peanut butter fudge, Abbie's favorite desert.

            I set the table, complete with two lit candles, and begin to move everything over.  She grabs our glasses and moves them as well before she takes Austin back to his room to play.  Everything's ready by the time she returns and she smiles.  "This is really nice, Jack."

            "I…" I can't finish the sentence and she smiles.  God, she's beautiful.

            "Do you want to talk now or wait until after dinner?"  She asks.

            "It's up to you."

            She looks uncomfortable and I wonder if I've done something wrong.  "Jack…I didn't quit because of us.  I really did quit because of Austin.  We worked about a hundred hours a week and I wanted to have time with him.  You know that you don't like your assistants to have family."

            "I never said that."

            "The biggest problem you had with Jamie was Katie and the amount of time it took being a mother, even though you liked both of them.  Adam was the same way."

            "I never…" I pause in frustration.  "Abbie, you're the only woman I've loved since Claire."  I promised myself I wouldn't mention Claire, but it's out now.

            "I know that, Jack."

            "What happened with us?"

            "We weren't ready to get married and I got pregnant."  She answers simply.

            "We never even tried other alternatives."

            "Jack, if we lived together, we'd still never see each other."  It was if she had been reading my mind.

            "I work the same amount of time I did before Austin was born, so how was it enough time to get pregnant then and not enough time to be together now?"  That came out wrong, but I look at her, to see what she thinks of it.

            "You really think we have a chance."

            I nod.  "I'll do whatever you want, Abbie, but I think we might have a chance somehow.  I don't want to give us up."

            "Neither do I." 

I smile with relief.  "So what do we do?"  I ask now that we know we both want to be together again.

"I'm not sure.  I'm not ready for you to move in right now."  I nod.  I don't really think I'm ready for that either.  "Why don't we date again and see what happens?  Like set aside Saturday night for just us."

I nod.  "I can do that."  Silence passes and then I do something incredibly stupid.  "Abbie…do you still love me?"

She looks shocked, then surprised, and finally she smiles.  "Yes.  Yes, I do."  I smile. It's all I need to know.