THE DAY I KILL THE PRESIDENT

BY JAY ALLEN/HORROS

CHAPTER 1 THE THING IN THE BOX

It was just a ordinary day, aliens were killing shopkeepers for a box of crisps - cheese and onion flavour- penguins where eating ice-lollypops, and mangled cats were screaming their sweet meow. I my self would have loved to join in with all these great activities yet I had better plans. I was just popping down to my friend Johnny's. Now I knew Johnny well, and I knew he'd be out the back with his dog that caught that plague thing. And just as I predicted there he was.

"The dog's worse today." He said, frowning.

"What ever is the matter." I said.

"Well blood is pouring out of his eyes and yellow stuff out of his mouth." said Johnny, and gestured to the pool of stuff on the floor.

"He must be hungry." I said "Give him another slave"

As Johnny was getting the slave one of those government things was flying over, you know those things they said were not real, a flying saucer. They had campers camping underneath it, they looked like hippies. There was a monkey inside, it said we will not tell u that all the monkeys we sent in to space came back intelligent. "I knew it!" I said. As I rushed to get my gun the flying source flew away. Johnny came around the corner with the slave.

"Why did you take my gun?" Yelled Johnny.

"But..." I said

"No no I don't want to hear lameo excuses no no no no shut I just cant listen to this no no no." said Johnny.

I ran into the shed to put the gun back, Johnny fed the dog the slave. A wave of blood splashed on the widow. There as a note on the side I read it, it said.

ARMY FORM

NAME: squid

DATE: 25/4/06

AGE: 1

CONTRY: none

SPECIALTIES: eating cats

What the hell? I thought. But Johnny was human and named Johnny and also has a dog. I heard a noise in the left corner a box was slowly shaking. As I went to squish the box it yelled out a cry.

"Nien nien nien nien nien nien nien!"

I looked at the form one more time. It seems to be a German, but no country...odd.

I saw a weird thing crawl out.

"Where did you come from?" I said.

It said, in English "Well..."

A bubble started to come out of its head.

"Yay flashback" I said

"A long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long" I slapped him and told him to get on with the flashback. "time ago, slorgs attacked my ship. They were after the president's key to his pyjamas. They kidnapped the captain and had him for after noon tea.

"They fought on our ship. I was as good as dead until I sneezed all over the escape pod and fried the circuits. They slithered, there black tails across the floor. Closer and closer until I could hear them breathe on the glass on the front of the pod. They pressed emergency crash land. That is when the pod fell into earth in some place called Germany. Johnny found me in world war I-do-not-care-for-numbers and took me here, after the war ended, which was about 5 minutes or so ago. Then here we are I am on your head having lunch."

"Please get the hell off me." I yelled.

"Sorry but I need to eat and look at this food chain." It said, and pulled out a peice of paper, I read it.

FOOD CHAIN:

MONKEYS

SHARKS

PIGS

SQUID

TURTLES

CATS

DOGS

MICE

ELEPHANTS

CARROTS

"Then me!" I said.

"No." Said Squid.

SNAIL POOS

RABBITS

"Then me!" I said.

"No" Said Squid.

YELLOWS

BLUES

YELLOW POOS

"Then you after monkey poo." Said Squid.

MONKY POO.

AND JAYS

"Good lets go see Johnny." I said

"Not so fast!" Someone said in a dark rough voice.