Painful Pleasure

Disoriented, that was how Harry felt. It made coming to the most unpleasant experience he had ever... experienced. His head pounded in his skull, sending a trail of ache down his nose. He groaned in discomfort as the ache trailed down the back of his neck to settle on as many a nerve as it could reach. When he tried to shift to alleviate the pain, more aches flared to life in his chest, right leg, and left ankle. When he tried to move his left hand to rub the ache from his right leg he found his arm uselessly hanging over the edge of the cot he laid on. He silently acio'ed his wand, not thinking that catching it would be difficult since the world was blurry and out of focus. He could hear the wand zooming to him from its hiding place of the bedside table and tried to grab for it. The effort was in vain as there were three currently zooming toward him. He made a grab for one, but realized that it was a doppelganger, from his lack of focus, and his actual wand landed on the ground a few feet from where he laid.

Squinting, Harry only know realized that his glasses were not on his face. He looked around as best as he could with the ache in his neck and spotted the edge of them lying innocently on the bedside table. He glared at the part of them he could see, silently willing his wandless magic to lift them from their resting place. Sadly, that was not to be, for he didn't have the strength to lift something that heavy. He only managed to move it an inch or so, not really enough to disrupt it of its piece, but apparently enough to set off the wards that surrounded his bed. In that moment, he noticed that he was indeed on something soft and there were feet pounding toward him. Panicked, or extremely alarmed, Harry began to flail violently, but his sore limbs protest the movement and only managed to succeed in making his limbs hurt more. Three sets of hands held him down and Harry began to scream hoarsely. His throat was dry so it became raw quickly, as he fought the hands that held him.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter, stop it, Stop," a frantic female voice was shouting to him over his screaming.

"Harry, stop. you are safe here my boy," said a male in a gentle raspy voice.

Whether Harry recognized these people or not were lost on him. He continued to struggle, thinking that maybe Death Eaters had captured him and were trying to break him. He continued to fight hard, but when a hand slapped his cheek rather roughly, renewed pain seared into his head and he stopped his struggling. He let out a low whimper of pain and then recognized the female voice scolding someone.

"Really Severus, was that necessary?"

"It had the desired effect, did it not?"

"As would have a calming drought," Poppy scoffed, sitting said vile onto the bedside table.

"Really Severus you could have thought of something gentle. Poor Harry is probably in enough pain as it is," said the raspy mail voice.

There was a snort of disapproval, but no other words were uttered. Harry could feel gentle probing to his body. He flinched at the touch, but hissed when those fingers pressed a little too roughly onto his leg.

"I'm sorry, dear," the female said and finally Harry knew who she was.

"Madam Pomfrey," he asked tentatively, throat raw from his screams.

"Yes dear. Now, Lie still."

"Glasses," Harry asked hopefully.

A harsh sigh made him flinch, but his glasses were place gently on his face. He sighed in relief when the world snapped into focus. He blinked as the light was suddenly brighter. He blinked until the lights that were speckled in front of his eyes disappeared. He smiled at Madam Pomfrey, once he could see, relieved that she was not a Death Eater. She offered him a vial with blue potion, and Harry was relieved when the pain in his everywhere faded.

"Now, I don't want you to move. I'm going to try and get you back on your feet. I can probably do the rest now as it has been Twenty-four hours since I last worked on you.

Puzzled Harry blurted, "Twenty-four hours?"

"You have been unconscious for more than Twenty-four hours, Potter."

Harry's head snapped to the speaker. When he took in the pale skin, the dark eyes, and the trademark scowl, Harry forgot Madam Pomfrey's warning and launched himself at the dour man with a cry of, "Severus!"

Surprised, the older man had a second to sputter in confusion before lips were placed over his. Two shocked gasps caused Harry to free Severus' lips. He looked bewildered at the other two occupants in the room before blushing hotly and extracting himself from Severus' grip. When his feet touched the cold marble floor, they gave way and Harry realized that his right leg was broken, as was his left ankle. He never got a chance to crumble to the floor, however; as Severus' arms encircled him, drawing him up. Harry shot him a grateful smile which only broadened as the shock of the situation wore off and Severus hiss out, "Idiot!"

His grin never once faded as Severus lead Harry to the bed and settled him in a lying position. Madam Pomfrey worked, all the while muttering about silly Gryffindor's whom didn't listen. He could hear her muttering about the 'shock of it', but couldn't possibly know what she meant. When she stepped away, the smile still hadn't faded from his lips. Severus couldn't help but wonder if he were demented. He would have asked him just that, had it not been for the infirmary door creaking open. Harry still held his smile as he gazed at Severus, though the older man was busy watching as one Draco Malfoy sauntered into the room as if he owned it. Upon spotting Severus, Draco headed toward his direction. Harry saw Severus' demeanor change into one he recognized.

Severus' shoulders relaxed slightly and his eyes softened; but, not noticeable for anyone, whom didn't know him, to notice. A smile tugged faintly at the corners of his mouth and Harry's smile dimmed. When they shared a kiss as an enthusiastic greeting, Harry's smile burnt out like a flame extinguished from a candle. Hurt crept into his eyes, but no one noticed. Only the forgotten wizard, Albus Dumbledore, watched as the hurt settled into Harry's eyes. He watched the young man's body stiffen, and he flinched when the pop of there kiss echoed, as they broke apart, around the room. Not understanding the dejection on the other man's face, Albus reached forward and touched him. He did it as gentle as possible, but Harry still flinched, hard.

"Are you well, my boy?"

All eyes snapped to Harry. Severus' eyes burned into his, sneer in place and outrage burning in his depths.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Before he could answer a loud pitched, "You WHAT", screeched from Draco's mouth. Severus turned his stony gaze to his lover, stopping the rant that he knew was building up with a single look. When he was sure that Draco would comment no further, he turned his glare back on Harry. Harry, in turn, shivered at the ice he could see practically freezing emotion behind Severus' eyes but kept his eyes bravely locked with Severus'.

"Am I no longer entitled?"

Surprise flashed in Severus' eyes for a moment before the ice came back.

"You were never entitled," he spat darkly.

This time Severus noticed the boy flinch.

"Did... Did something happen while I was out?"

Confusion crept into Severus' eyes, but only Harry seemed to see it for he said hastily.

"Before I came here, I have a clear memory of us celebrating our wedding day, in the parlor of our rooms.

"We have never gotten married, Potter," Severus spat.

"Yes we have. You gave me this ring," Harry held up his left hand, but there was no ring on his finger.

He tried to grab his finger with his right hand, only to remember that it was broken, if the shooting pain had anything to say about it. Panic started to seep into his conscious again and he looked with wide confused eyes at Severus. Severus looked back at him, never breaking the frown he placed on his face.

"But we are married," Harry said in a voice barely above a whisper.

He looked pleadingly to Dumbledore. Surely the elder wizard would know, he'd been at the wedding, but Albus had no answers for him for the wizard looked shocked, and confused, even more confused than Severus, if one looked deep enough.

"I don't understand. Did you oblivate everyone? Wait, no, I don't think that is possible. Why would you want to anyway? We are happy... We were happy. I don't understand."

Harry closed his eyes, silently willing them all to remember. Willing him to remember."

"You are so pathetic, Potter. Severus would never willing be with you. He has far better tastes. Is this some pathetic attempt at our old school rivalry?"

Harry shook his head. He could definitely feel a headache coming on ten fold. The pain potion was disintegrating, along with his future.

"But you were there, Malfoy. You were Severus' best man. You threw us a bachelor's party, even though Hermione explained that they were traditionally separate. You... you were engaged. Why am I the only one to remember?"

"Mr. Potter, you have suffered cranial damage and server trauma to..."

"That has nothing to do with it!"

"Harry," Dumbledore broke in gently but was also interrupted by Harry.

"No Headmaster, no. Nothing you can say will make this right. Nothing you say will make... this... make sense... nothing," Harry said in a broken whisper.

"Severus, Mr. Malfoy, maybe you should leave.

"No! Please, not yet. Not until I understand."

"There is nothing you could do, or say, that could make us stay, Potter," Draco deadpanned.

Harry thought hard, searching frantically for something he could say that would halt Severus, and possibly Draco, in his tracks.

"Your mother, her name was Eileen."

"Nice try, but you could have read that in Hogwarts: A History," Draco sneered.

"But that book is so long. I've never read it, and I don't plan on it."

"How am I to know you speak the truth," Severus interjected.

Harry's face fell, and Severus smiled cockily before dragging Draco forward. He thought harder, frantically searching. Nothing he could say would get Severus to stay, but he had to try. So, he naturally started to blurt out random things in desperation.

"You wanted to be invisible when you were a kid so that your father couldn't find you."

Severus stopped in his tracks. He had never told anyone that, not even Draco.

"You loved my mother, more than life itself, and because of her I became your greatest emotional burden. Your actually a brunette, but you took a potion you created when you were younger and it died your hair black permanently. You thought it looked distinguished and didn't bather to create a counter. Your first kiss was under the Whomping Willow with..."

"Don't you DARE! I don't know how you know all these things, maybe you broke into my personal lab and took a peak into my pensieve, but by no means were you to ever mention details of someone else's PERSONAL LIFE," Severus snarled.

"I'm sorry," Harry said solemnly, "but I had to make you listen, even if you don't believe me."

When he saw he had Severus' grudging attention he pressed on.

"You told me all that, three years after the battle with Voldemort."

He smiled a bit when Severus did not flinch.

"We were dating, about a year then, but you were so guarded, so closed up, that anything I said would put you on edge. So, I told you off, I said things I didn't mean, but in the end, I promised you freedom. I left you there, in the Three Broomsticks. I told you, you were free, I wouldn't burden you any longer. You let me leave. You let me go back to my flat and I hadn't heard from you in three days. When you did come to see me I was a wreck. I hadn't showered, and I hadn't eaten. You told me to eat, because my friends were worried about me and kept pestering you to do something about it. I laughed at you. I told you that you had no right to order me about, you gave up that claim. I could see it in your eyes the moment it happened. Something had changed, your eyes had turned a shade of black I had never seen before. I wasn't calm, but I wasn't frightened either."

Harry took a deep breath.

"I told you to leave. I told you we were through and the next thing I know, I'm pinned to the couch and your snarling at me. You told me that I wasn't allowed to leave. You told me that you were a difficult man, that I should have known, all the years I'd known you. I told you that I knew, but you weren't convinced. You kissed me, but I didn't want to share that type of kiss with you. It was brutal and demanding, and it hurt. I wanted to see the side of you that you only showed Albus. You refused, and I told you to leave again. When you got up to walk to the door, I thought surely you would leave again. I thought that I had lost you forever, but you turned back to me and sat on the couch.

You told me you had perfected that cold demeanor, for the war. You said that old habits were hard to break and that you felt like you still needed to be on guard with me. You told me you needed to guard your heart. I understood all that, I really did, but I wanted to be worth the effort to you, and clearly I wasn't. I told you so and set you free again. You told me to shove my freedom... Urm... Somewhere else, and kissed me again. The way I wanted you too... The way I needed you too, all along. You told me things, simple things, like wishing you were invisible, and the hair potion, that tattoo on your arse, and a lot of other things. That night was also the night you told me..."

Not only Severus, but Albus, Poppy, and even Draco, leaned a bit forward unconsciously, listening avidly to the young man who brought the story to life. A young man who showed all his tender feelings to a man that was not his by right. When it was obvious Harry would not continue Severus prompted.

"Told you what?"

Harry looked up at him, tears brimming on the edge of his vision and said...

"Told me that you loved me."

Severus starred into Harry's eyes, trying to gauge his emotions. Severus tried discretely to use Legilimency, but never gained access to Harry's mind. A sneer slowly worked in his place, and Harry could see the debate warring in Severus' eyes, but that debate vanished when an indignant sniff broke the tension.

"Yeah right. As if were were to believe this nonsense. My god, Potter, you are pathetic. Severus, we are already late. Shall we have to stand here and listen to this... tripe any longer?"

Severus looked at Harry, clearly seeing the truth shining by the hope in his eyes, and shook his head negative.

"No, we shan't."

Severus allowed Draco to lead him out the door, but not before he gave a very convincing, "Nice try, Potter," before he left. When the infirmary doors shut, Harry's tears fell; sliding slowly down his cheeks. He started a moment when two separate sets of hands landed on a respective shoulder, but his head stayed down, stiffened and defeated. He never acknowledged Poppy or Albus trying to comfort him.

To be continued

Author's Note: Originally, I was going to make this a one shot, but it might be a bit too long for that. So, I shall break it down into parts. If this doesn't get a lot of... buzz, for lack of a better word I will just discontinue it and move on :D tell me what you think, and if you approve, I shall post the next chapter next week. (Same day) :D

Until next time :D

YAJF