[center]A Thieves Tale
The Beginning[/center]
"Oof!" I exclaimed as I landed flat on my back in the middle of Garland Market. I really have to work on my landings, though nothing hurt too much, excluding my pride.
"After 'em! That rat stole me wives' pendant!" Called an elderly man from the balcony I'd previously occupied. I could almost feel the mob of the market turn their eyes on me. Not like there could've been many other miscreants that fit the bill at the moment, with me scrambling to my feet and all, trying to avoid being conspicuous.
Note to self: Blending in only works if you haven't been spotted.
I beat feet to avoid the crowd gathering around me; occasionally calling out a belated apology to the poor bystander I may have trampled in my desperation to escape. (Honestly, being a thief would be much more peaceful if people knew when to get out of the way.) I traced the old familiar brick paths through alleys and across open streets to get back to my asylum, an old abandoned church just outside of town.
I suppose an introduction would be in order, seeing as how you don't even know my name.
You may call me Master of Thieves, or maybe The Sticky-Fingered Shadow! You may call me by those titles; however, most people just call me Kaid. Yup, Klepto Kaid, that's me. Not as tall as I'd like to be, not as handsome either. The only thing I've really got going for me is a lack of moral decency and a mess of curly black hair that no one can see through. Though you've got to understand, when you happen to be a slight, shortish lad with few relatives and fewer true friends, you've got to be a bit more resourceful than your average lay-about. Granted, life hasn't been all honey and roses for me, I make the most out of it (Albeit with other people's belongings), but, I digress. We were on about my day, yeah?
So there I was, speeding through town like the Devil himself were on my heels when I happened to turn a corner heading straight out of town and ran full throttle into the same fellow who'd hired me to nab the damn pendant in the first place.
"Hey! Watch where yer goin' ya lout!" Officer Oscar yelled at me, gaudy mustache quivering. He whipped out his baton faster than I could regain my balance and whacked me across the knee like the Polo playing nobles in their fancy estates do.
"Hey, I recognize that mop O' mess anywhere! If it isn't Klepto-Kaid! What've ya nicked this time, ya guttersnipe? 'Ave ya grabbed some old Lady's last bit O' gold perhaps? Maybe ya've finally been ousted?" Oscar sneered at me. I swear, the crook gets more twisted and sadistic every time I see him.
"Hey there, Officer, I'm just goin' for an evenin' jog, honest! You know I've been out of all that stealin' rubbish for awhile no-"Was as far as I got before he caught me on the temple with a swing of his stupid club. I'd seen it coming from a kilo away by the jiggles in his third (or maybe fourth?) chin, so I'd had plenty of time to get ready to roll with it. This was all par for the course anyhow.
"Oh shush yer lies, ya bloody… Um, liar? Yeah, Liar! Hand over whatcha got, or I'll just be takin' it from ya downtown!" He blustered. I handed the Pendant over before he cuffed me, thus beginning a long, uncomfortable stroll through town.
"I spy with my little eye; something steaming!" I joked as we passed through the industrial district. A swift and painful tap to the tip of my elbow silenced me with a grimace.
"Ya just had ta be extra reckless this time around, dintcha," Oscar hissed at me under his breath, "With all them people about, I couldn't let ya go or else they'd know somethin' was up!" He punctuated with another rap, this time to my shoulder blade. Much more of this and Ol' Porky would be my next mark. I guess you can never have too many
"Gee, officer, I sure am awful sorry about all o' trouble I've gone an' caused ya. I promise on me mum's grave I won't do it again!" I sniped in response.
"Are ya gettin' smart with me boy? Yer lucky it's me that caught ya, any other officer an' ya woulda owed a lot more than a few dozen shillings! An' while yer at it, talk normal like; ya know I can tell the difference!"
"I hear you Oscar, but things were getting awfully fuzzy back there. You should have told me they were home! That old bag of dust nearly had me back there!"
"I woulda told ya if I'd known, boy! Don't mouth off to the one thing between you and the slammer!"
"Cram it, Oscar! You know I have dirt on you and half of your buddies in the station! You couldn't keep me down if you tried." I scathingly replied.
Oscar didn't speak after that.
The rest of the trip was made in silence. We both knew that we had each other in a vice. We both knew that I hated being locked up and we both knew that Oscar had to provide for his family. One wrong word and we'd both go down.
We arrived at the station to see it in a state of panic: Officers were screaming at each other red-faced, the chief looking older and grayer by the second in his cordoned off section in the station that served as his office. Oscar and the chief made eye contact briefly and I found myself being dragged into the fray.
"Oscar," The chief began before sighing and pouring himself a drink of something I could smell from nearly four meters back, "The Guffrey's, Mandrake's, Steinleich's, and Wilshire's have all been murdered. Cold blood I'm afraid; Pillars of the community, all of them"
"B-but sir! I was just patrollin' the Garland and Tinsel Districts 'fore I caught this rabble… Coming from Garland square… Near the Market" Oscar turned and looked at me, wide eyed and horrified. The Wilshire's were the old couple he'd had me nab the pendant from just a few hours ago! I had a feeling that some sort of higher power was glaring down at me with a malicious smile
"Is that so?" The Chief inquired. He leaned forward on his forearms, all thoughts of his drink gone. There was something about his eyes I didn't trust…
"Yessir! Caught him dashin' about like a madman, or like he was runnin' from somethin'." Oscar replied.
"Hold up, fellows, I'm sure this is all just a coincidence! If you would be so kind as to allow me to explain, I'm sure we-"Were my last words before fading into darkness.
"-nd He'll wake up when he's ready. "
"You sure? That oaf Oscar hit him pretty hard; you might wanna take him to a doc or somethin'"
"I'm quite sure, Mr. Svikari. You may take your leave."
Note to self: Avoid getting knocked out; it hurts.
"Mr. Gadai, it would seem you've awakened." Came the deceptively calm, gruff voice of the Chief.
"Ugh…"Was my eloquent response.
"Seems like you could use some sleep: Too bad. You've got a job to do, Mr. Gadai."
"Waa? I-I …Wha?"
Eloquence: Thy name is Kaid Gadai.
"Right, right, concussions are disadvantageous to cognition. Let me give it to you as plainly as possible, Mr. Gadai: I know you're innocent. No one else does. You do me a small favor and I'll make sure everyone knows you're innocent. Are we clear?" The Chief asked again
"Favor? What?" I sputtered out. The pain in my head was slowly receding, thought the taste of burnt metal in my mouth was as strong as the monumental headache I was still nursing
"Perhaps now really isn't the time. You have five hours, Gadai. I suggest you ponder your very limited options."
With his words falling on effectively deaf ears, The Chief walked out of the dingy room with a relaxed, confident gait.
The door slammed behind him sending shards of pain rocketing through my head. The single electric light above me lit the would-be interrogation room, shedding light on some mold and a dead rat in the top left corner of the room. I tested my arms and legs to make sure nothing was broken. Hands? Bound, but intact. Feet? Free to move as they please. Chair? Bolted to the floor, against my previous hopes. Head? Still reeling from Oscar's special brand of love. It was shaping up to be a long five hours in this little corner of heaven.
By the time five hours passed, I could have painted you an exact replica of that damn room, every smoke stain on the wall, coated either on or by mildew, the exact size and shape of that stupid rat (which turned out to just be sleeping. It scurried through a smallish hole in the wall after an hour or so) and the dubious fluids on the floor.
Let's just say it was a rainbow of nasty.
I was contemplating taking a bite out of my tongue to drown in my own blood before the Chief came back when the door swung open.
' Speak of the devil and he shall appear' I thought bitterly
"So Chief, what brings you to my little piece of heaven? 'Fraid I can't offer you a snack, there was a rat, but it scampered off somewhere. Probably went to go sit behind one of those desks upstairs." Contempt dripped from every word, though the Chief maintained his aloof expression.
"Always the jester, Mr. Gadai. Godfrey, the syringe." He called into the doorway. A thin, ratty looking man shuffled in with a case in his arms, embroidered in silver.
"Of course sir, here you are sir." The newly dubbed Rat Bastard wheezed.
The Chief popped the clasps on the fancy box and pulled out a needle longer than my rap sheet. My face went whiter Rat Bastard's lab coat.
"This, Mr. Gadai, is a… steroid of sorts. I've been looking for a test subject for an awfully long time, and here you are!" He approached me with an evil gleam in his eyes.
I wish I didn't remember what he did after that. I wish I didn't remember the hours, or days (I couldn't tell after the first few minutes of the injection) of absolute agony, the feeling of being electrocuted hundreds of times… Of what he did when he finally untied me.
I woke up in a forest. I could barely move and my head felt like I'd been clubbed by Oscar a dozen times, but the rest of my body just had aches as if I'd just finished practicing my escapes. I'll… I don't think I'll ever forget what that bastard did to me, even if it did feel like a dream, now. I sat up a few minutes later when my head stopped pounding so hard and looked myself over. Most of my clothes were still intact, though my hair felt a bit singed at the ends. I stood and looked around, not recognizing any of my surroundings.
'Welp, time to see if I can still do that trick with the sun' I cast my gaze skyward and saw the sun on the rise, not quite at its summit, but getting close. After getting my bearings, I decided to head south.
[i]Further I get away from the Chief, the faster I can forget.[/i]
Every time I took a step, I swear there were at least 3 roots trying to trip me up. Needless to say, I fell often and I fell hard. Though the ground was soft enough to mitigate some of the impact, my poor gloves still got worn down from patches of saw grass and small stones. It didn't take me long to figure out that I'd have to be more careful.
I continued, glancing between the path and the sky for a few hours, only stopping when I came across a river. Cupping my hands, I bent and drank from the fast-moving water. It was far cleaner than the Thames was, that's for sure. When I rose, a large, purple, scaly hand scooped me up and brought me face to face with a river serpent.
I really wish I were kidding.
"Oh hello there little ape! What brings you to my little neck of the river?" It asked. It sounded like it was 'batting for the other team' as one might say.
"Oh you know, just resting for awhile, taking a quick drink," He (I'm guessing) smiled at me creepily- "And, uh just looking to be on my way?" I finished weakly.
While the serpent thing was staring at me, I took the liberty of studying his multi-colored mustache.
"Oh, I see you've seen my mustache!" He exclaimed, " Why I, Steven Magnet, was once a beautiful serpent! I had the most simply magnificent mustache, that is, before some awful mare chopped half of it off!" He swooned, stroking the purple half of his mustache.
"And while I was wallowing in my darkest of despair, a certain Miss Rarity happened upon me, offering her tail to give me back my beauty!"
"That's a nice story, Steven- it was Steven, right?" A nod "As nice a story as that was, I really must be going, I have to go find shelter for the night." It wasn't a lie [i]per se[/i] It just wasn't the complete truth, but when dealing with a giant talking sea serpent in a strange land, I think it pays to be a bit on the nice side.
"A shame, truly. Do you know if you'll be stopping by Ponyville, perchance?" He asked while batting his lashes.
"I probably will, if I'm not mistaken." I replied.
"Then if you wouldn't mind too terribly, could you please take this to my dearest friend, Rarity? You know, the one who saved my mustache?"
He pulled a shiny golden crown from the bottom of the river bed, I assume. It was a nice enough crown, but I've stolen nicer. He handed it to me and set me on the other side of the river, warning me to not stray off of the path. True to my word, I stayed the path until I saw a smallish village in the distance.
The town looked... Strange to say the least. Most of what I'd seen in Wiltshire had been gray or mossy. This place was... Vibrant to say the least. The trees were greener that any other I've ever seen. As I stepped out of the mugginess of the forest, I breathed in the crisp, clean air that washed over me. Being born In a semi-industrial town meant that the air was always thick with smoke; Even parts of the forests were stained black from pollution.
I had hardly gotten ten paces out of the treeline when a blue blur rocketed into my side.