Jesse was hurt, which was unusual. He was never hurt. He had caused hurt, but he had never experienced it for himself. He discovered that hurting sucked. The worst of it was, if he'd been in the same situation, he wouldn't have acted any differently than Rachel had. This realization made it extremely difficult for him to blame her. So, he forgave her. Yet she seemed intent on punishing herself for her actions. She avoided him all day and when he did catch a glimpse of her, he noticed that her eyes were red and puffy. Jesse loved her, he really did. He was in agony at the thought that he was doing this to her.
"Rachel," he said, finally catching up to her during Glee. "Rachel." He tried to hold her, to tell her that he forgave her. But she pulled away from him.
"Don't Jesse. I don't deserve it."
"Rachel, I forgive you. I realized that I would have done the same thing if I'd been in your shoes. Please, talk to me."
"Why are you doing this? I behaved abominably. You shouldn't want to see me again."
"Rachel…," Jesse pleaded with her to talk to him.
"Jesse, just let me go. It's better this way."
"Rach, how is it better if we're not together?"
"Jesse, we're both destined for stardom. We both crave the spotlight. Sooner or later our relationship will suffer as a result. I care too much to put us through that—which is why I'm saying goodbye. Now you can go off to UCLA and forget about me. Find a girl who's less ambitious and won't stand in your way of becoming a star."
Jesse could only stare at Rachel in shock throughout her entire speech.
"Rachel, are you crazy?"
"Don't," Rachel interrupted him, "call me crazy."
She then moved to take a seat as far from him as possible.
Neither could focus on their music that day. Both loved the other more than life itself, more than being in the spotlight, even. Jesse wracked his brain to come up with a way to convince Rachel that their relationship could work. Rachel wracked her brain for a way to make Jesse forget her. Neither had reached a conclusion by the end of the period.
The bell rang dismissing them and Rachel was off like a shot. Normally, Jesse gave her a ride to and from school. Since they had now broken up, however, Rachel would be forced to walk the two miles home.
She trudged along the road, suddenly sensing a car pulling up alongside her. She made way for the car to pass, only for it to stop and the driver to get out.
Rachel didn't look at the driver's face, holding up her books in front of her as a shield.
"Don't come any closer," she said in a loud voice. "I have a rape whistle."
"Not the rape whistle threat again," came a familiar voice.
Rachel lowered her books to find Jesse standing in front of her.
"What do you want?"
"I waited to offer you a ride, but then I noticed that you had already left. I drove to catch up to you and now I have. So get in."
"No, thank you. I need the walk. It will strengthen my leg muscles and make me a better dancer."
"Rachel, cut the crap and get in the car. It's two miles to your house. Do you honestly think I'm going to let you walk all that way alone?"
"I deserve it," Rachel whispered, looking at the ground again. "I deserve much worse after what I've done to you."
"Rachel," Jesse whispered.
He began to walk towards her, arms outstretched. Rachel shut her eyes and tensed her muscles.
"What the hell do you think I'm going to do to you?" asked Jesse, wondering at her strange behavior.
"I expect, at the very least, for you to make the made-up bruises from the video become real."
Jesse stared at her, incredulous.
"You thought I was going to hit you?"
"Well, weren't you?"
"Of course not. I was aiming for a hug. Rachel, I would never, ever hit you. I love you."
"Why?" asked Rachel. "After what I've done..."
"Rachel, I already told you that I would have done the same. Why can't you accept that I forgive you?"
"I don't deserve your forgiveness. I didn't realize until the video was playing how much it would affect everyone. I regretted it immediately and have chosen to accept the consequences of my actions."
"But, Rach, those consequences depend on those involved. And I'm not about to let you go."
Rachel had run out of words to say, so she simply walked around Jesse and continued on home. Jesse sighed, frustrated with her antics. But, he got in the car and continued driving. However, he wouldn't pass Rachel. He drove alongside her, determined to see that she made it home safely.
When they reached Rachel's home, he parked in front of her house and got out. By the time he reached the porch, however, Rachel had already disappeared inside and when he tried the door, it was locked. Undeterred, he went around to the backyard and climbed the tree that led straight to Rachel's room. He slid open the window and crawled inside, lying on Rachel's bed as he waited for her to climb the stairs.
Rachel opened the door to her bedroom, turning around to shut it. When she turned around again, she was greeted by the sight of Jesse sprawled across her bed.
"Jesse," she whispered, almost defeated.
Jesse was instantly in front of her, pulling her into his warm embrace.
Rachel began to cry, staining Jesse's shirt with her tears. When she'd quieted, she pushed Jesse away.
"Jesse, you have to go."
"Why?"
"My dads will be home soon."
"So? They love me."
"Jesse…" Rachel said in warning.
Holding up his hands in surrender, Jesse said, "Alright, alright. I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"Yeah, see you at school," Rachel replied.
"Nope. I'll be seeing you in front of your house at 7:30am, as usual."
"Jesse, I don't need a ride. Now go."
"Fine. But I don't give up so easy," Jesse promised her, closing the door behind him.
Rachel sank to the floor, finally allowing herself to feel all she was feeling. She cried as she had never cried before. Even when she had been cast as part of the ensemble in Lima's production of Les Misérables, at the age of thirteen, she hadn't cried this much.
Finally, her sobs quieted and she was able to go to the bathroom and wash her face. Her dads couldn't suspect that anything was wrong.
At dinner, she was her usual confident self, talking a mile a minute about Glee, school, anything but Jesse.
She excused herself shortly after, claiming to be tired from working so hard in Glee.
She shut the door to her bedroom and got ready for bed. It wasn't until she had the covers tucked around her that the tears came again. She missed having Jesse lying next to her. Ever since they'd been going out, he'd spent his nights in her room, telling her that she was now his family, as his own had effectively abandoned him, choosing instead to travel the world. He would sleep beside her and hold her all through the night. He would sing to her to help her fall asleep or to help calm her down when she had a nightmare about losing Regionals. He would assure her that he wasn't going anywhere if she had a dream about him leaving. In short, he was like her security blanket. She needed him.
That night, Rachel cried herself to sleep.
Meanwhile, in another part of town, Jesse St. James was having difficulty falling asleep as well. He missed the comfort that came from having his arms around Rachel. He missed softly singing her a lullaby to help her fall asleep. He even missed comforting her when she dreamed of him going off to college and finding someone better. He needed her as much as she needed him. Of this he was certain.
The next morning, Jesse got up early. With circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, he headed for Rachel's home. Whether or not she accepted his help, he would see that she got to school safely. He parked in front of her house and went up the steps to ring the bell.
Rachel's Daddy answered, informing Jesse that Rachel had left for school ten minutes previously. Jesse thanked him then dashed back to his car. He took off, determined to find Rachel and save their relationship.
Jesse found that Rachel hadn't gone very far. He pulled up alongside her, parked, and got out, similar to the previous afternoon.
"Jesse, just leave me alone."
"No, not until we at least talk."
"Jesse, we've talked. You're just too stubborn to accept the fact that we're over."
"Well, I'm not giving up without a fight. Please, Rachel, get in the car."
"No," Rachel shook her head, turned on her heel, and continued walking to school.
Jesse raised his hands in defeat, got in the car, and followed Rachel at a snail's pace until they reached the school. Jesse had to park, so he lost sight of Rachel.
He quickly got out and headed inside to look for her. He found her in the middle of the hallway, a jock headed her way, armed with a slushie.
Rachel was glad when she and Jesse reached the school and he was forced leave her to park his car in the parking lot. She headed inside the school to go to her locker. She was in the middle of the hallway when she noticed a jock headed her way, holding a slushie. She braced herself for the impact, but it never came.
When Rachel opened her eyes, it was to discover Jesse standing protectively in front of her, prepared to be slushied for her.
"No, Jesse," she whispered.
"I'd rethink that, if I were you," Jesse informed the jock in a voice that left no room for argument. "Mess with her and you mess with me."
"Sorry, man. I thought you two had spilt up and she was an open target again."
"Well, you thought wrong," declared Jesse in a cold, hard voice.
"My bad," said the jock, backing up and heading in the opposite direction.
Jesse didn't relax his defensive stance till the jock had rounded the corner. He then turned around to face Rachel, pulling her into his arms.
"Jesse," Rachel whispered. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. I love you."
"I love you too, Jesse. I never want us to be apart."
"I think I can arrange that," Jesse smiled down at her. "Just promise me one thing."
"Anything," Rachel declared, looking up at Jesse with love pouring out of her eyes.
"Never cast me in anything with Finn ever again."
"I promise," said Rachel. "Jesse?"
"Yeah, Rach?"
"Thank you. Thank you for standing up to that jock and for being prepared to be slushied for me. Not just any guy would do that for a freak like me."
"You're not a freak, Rachel. You're beautiful."
"Well, I just wanted to say thank you. I think you're noble to protect me like that."
"Anything for you, babe. I love you."
"I love you too, Jesse. To the moon and back."
So saying, they walked to class hand in hand, together again.