This is something different for me as I don't ordinarily write about Sweets or Daisy, but in rewatching the season finale, I decided to try this one and see how you all liked it. I will be updating it off and on during the hiatus. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
How long had it been since Daisy had left DC to come here for a year? Three days? Lance Sweets, psychologist and general pest to those who knew him best, was pondering that as his boat docked at the small, primitive dock that serviced the island that Daisy and Dr. Brennan had come to for a year long dig.
"God I'm pathetic," he muttered as he clamored out of the oat and grabbed his duffel bags and put on his field hat. "First I tell her not to wait for me, and then what happens? I can't make it two days before I'm on a flight to come here and beg her to be with me again. Pathetic!"
It hadn't all been his fault that he hadn't been able to make it the whole year with the slender hope that Daisy hadn't moved on. Booth was primarily to blame. The man was so whipped that he'd called Sweets and invited him to the base for a beer at the Senior NCO Club in order to have some sympathetic company. There was Booth, looking miserable in his fatigues, telling Sweets not to fuck up like he had. Sweets actually had a chance to avoid a years separation from the woman he was in love with. Booth had to wait a year before he could make things right with Doctor Brennan. At that moment it had seemed so obvious.
"I'm going to Indonesia!" he practically shouted. The beers he'd downed were obviously affecting his mind.
"Calm down, Sweets," Booth had told him. "Just what are you going to do for a year in Indonesia, outside of the obvious night time activities?"
Sweets had not outwardly reacted to the night time activities comment, or he would have blushed, but he did have an answer to the other question. He grabbed some pamphlets out of his satchel. He handed them over to Booth with a triumphant smile.
"Pearl diving academy?" Booth squawked, easily a few octaves higher then normal.
"There's nothing wrong with learning a fall back profession," Sweets had defended himself. "Besides, it was Daisy's idea."
"And you call me whipped?" Booth snorted as he took another swallow of his beer, all the while thinking that if it hadn't been for the advice of the pansy in front of him he and Bones would not be on opposite sides of the world and instead would be at his place having take out and watching a movie.
"Well at least I was getting laid," Sweets continued to defend himself.
"Sweets," Booth told him in a deadly tone of voice. "The mere thought of you and the hyped up energizer bunny from Hell bumping uglies makes me want to hurl. As for my sex life, or rather lack thereof, I'll be taking care of that one next year when I meet up with Bones."
"And if she doesn't wait?" Sweets asked.
"That's going to be your job once you're over there," Booth told him with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "It'll be your job to make sure that no one, not even some muscle bound tiki torch juggler catches Bones' eyes for the next year. I want her ready and able for Daddy to take over the satisfying urges department once and for all."
Sweets turned a bit pale. "You want me to make sure that Dr. Brennan remains celibate for another year?" he squeaked. "She's been celibate since she got dumped by the two boyfriends and that was almost two years ago! She'll castrate me if I interfere with any plans she may make."
Booth leaned over. "Who would you rather have pissed off at you, Sweets?" he asked, somewhat kindly. "Bones, who will only pulverize you and then be your friend again the next minute, or me, the former Ranger trained sniper who will torture you for so long that you'll be begging me to end your suffering for all eternity?"
"Can you arrange it for me to be carrying a gun to fend off the tiki torch jugglers?" Sweets gulped.
"That's the spirit, Sweets!" Booth said with a smile. "Oh, and one more thing. Bones is not to be allowed anywhere near any limbo contests for any damn reason whatsoever! Got it?" he said with a glare that spoke volumes of what would happen if he discovered that Bones had been doing any limbo partying while Sweets was supposed to be on the job.
Sweets remembered what had tanked Hodgins and Angela's first attempt at getting hitched and made sure that he would be on the lookout for any limbo poles. "Got it. No limbo," he said solemnly. Booth would definitely kill him if Dr. Brennan came back unknowingly married due to some archaic, nonsensical activity.
"I knew I could count on you, Sweets," Booth had said, perking up for the first time that night.
"Oh yeah," Sweets muttered, the sun blistering down on him as he adjusted his wide brimmed hat. "He can really count on me."
"Lancelot?" Daisy's very startled voice broke through, interrupting his tortured thoughts.
Lance turned to his former fiancée with as brave a smile as he could muster. Time to get to work! Instead of going to her, and hugging her, though, and then telling her he loved her and wanted her in his life, he went straight to the pathetic. He flopped onto his knees, wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in her abdomen. "Please take me back!" he begged. "I was an idiot and can't be without you!"
"Dr. Sweets?" came the very shocked, clipped voice of Dr. Temperance Brennan. She did not sound either amused or happy.
"Lancelot!" came the high pitched screech from beside him.
Sweets noted a few minor factors and realized that he had not noticed Dr. Brennan next to Daisy, and that he had grabbed the wrong person as he made his pathetic, sappy declaration. He had said that with his arms wrapped around the waist of Dr. Brennan! He thanked God a thousand times over in the next nanosecond that he hadn't been stupid enough to try and cop a feel of Daisy's ass, or rather, in this case, Dr. Brennan's ass. Does no evidence of the murder and painful dismemberment to follow such an act ring a bell? Dr. Brennan could make that happen and poor Lance's remains would never be found. And if that wasn't bad enough, Booth would make sure of it once he found out. He carefully, making sure not to make contact with any "dangerous" parts of Dr. Brennan's anatomy, removed his arms from around her and turned on his knees to Daisy. He gave a sickly smile. "Hi Honey, I'm hone?" he offered.
Daisy let him sweat for a minute before breaking out into a delighted smile. She would punish him for his behavior to Dr. Brennan later that night. "I knew you didn't mean it when you said not to wait for you," she said as she crashed down onto her own knees and threw her arms around him, holding on tightly.
A/N: Well, there it is. Sweets couldn't take being apart from Daisy, so he now has the assignment from Hell from Booth. I plan on exploring Sweets in this mess from the humorous side as if the year away genuinely happens, which given how HH and the rest do things may or may not happen. Gregg.