Hurriedly I pushed the lever up before the officer could get back up. With a small push, it slid easily, sending the transmission. For a second I leaned on the machine, my head down and a small smile crawling up my lips. My bones were so weary, but I didn't notice. No, this moment was euphoric. My head was spinning, but for the first time in my life, I was proud of myself and felt like my life had meaning. A small grunt brought me back to reality. In my dream state I had almost forgotten Cassian! The gun he had just used dropped from his hands and he winced as his leg gave way and he had to lean on the wall for support. Worriedly, I ran to him and put his arm around my shoulders, shifting his weight. Unfortunately, he was much heavier than I anticipated.
"You think anyone's listening?" He grinned as we stumbled along.
"I do," I said truthfully, smiling back. "Do you think we just saved the Rebellion?"
"I do," He replied.
I looked down and realized that we must have looked like quite the pair: dirty, bloody, and barely walking two steps without almost falling. In all honesty, I couldn't care less. We had accomplished our self-imposed mission. We had defeated the odds, whatever those may have been. I felt a pang of sadness when I thought of Kaytoo rattling off his numbers. I really did like the droid; maybe not at first, but eventually. Which was exactly my situation with Cassian. How did we come from such intense distrust to joking around like old friends? With a start, I realized that Cassian was the only real friend I'd ever had. And I couldn't think of a better person to take that title. He was brave, loyal, smart, and I genuinely cared for him, a feeling that came so rarely that I almost couldn't decipher it.
I let out a small snort of laughter, "We must look ridiculous."
He smiled again, followed by another wince, "You can't look ridiculous if no one's watching."
We suffered a small hassle while boarding the elevator, where Cassian couldn't walk up the small step in the doorway of the elevator, but somehow, we managed. Somehow, we managed all of this, I thought.
After I had pushed the button that would take us to the ground, I turned to face him, but he was already staring at me through long lashes. A burnt smell surrounded us and left a smoky taste in my mouth. Transfixed, I stared back. I had never known anyone like him. We stayed like that for a long while, eternity, it seemed.
Finally, he broke the silence, "You don't know how glad I am that you're alive," he whispered as he pushed the hair in my face behind my ear.
"I think you had it a little worse than me," I answered. "Do you think anyone else survived?" I added, voicing the fear I was too afraid to say out loud.
"I don't know," he replied hoarsely.
"I'm sorry about Kaytoo," I managed to stutter.
Glancing down, he muttered remorsefully, "I should have done something more."
Deflated, and tired, I desperately embraced him, holding on like he would be ripped from me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding on with the same ferocity. Like needy children, we grasped each other as if it would take away the pain of this world we lived in. I closed my eyes and buried my head into his neck, as the elevator reached the ground and the door opened. Unwillingly, we untangled ourselves, and I slipped under his arm again.
When we hobbled out to the battle scene, we were greeted by burning trees, bloody scenes of lifeless bodies, and the awful smell of smoking ships. Not able to handle the scene before me, I kept my eyes straight ahead, towards the beach. Somehow, when we got there, I thought, everything would be alright. Maybe when all of this was over, we could be okay.
Suddenly, something caught my eye: a huge green light shooting from the sky to the ground. Like green lightening, it hit the planet with a crack, igniting a fire in its wake. The source was the Death Star, looking so out of place in the peaceful blue surrounding it. Immediately, I started thinking of a way to escape, but realized I had no more strength to put a plan into motion. Despairingly, I looked at Cassian. Together, we watched the wave of dust rise in the horizon, defeated. When we reached the edge of the water, we sat down and watched our death come inescapably closer.
We had nothing more to live for.
Cassian looked at me and grinned a small smile. "Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn."
I couldn't say anything, or I would let the traitorous tears fall. A sad smile crossed my face and I took his hand, hoping that he would get my message. The fire and dust came steadily closer, and I could feel the wind on my face. I thought of my parents, and Cassian, and how I would gladly spend the rest of my life in his arms. Slowly, we stood up, and embraced one last time. This time, I kept my eyes open, watching my end come to consume me. My eyes watered as the dust blew into them and the fire burned brighter.
"I love you," he whispered.
I didn't care about the tears anymore.
"I love you," I held him tighter.
The wave came over us in slow motion and, broken beyond repair, I welcomed it.