Everything In Between

by Limegreen16

He walks away with three bags and the scent of her shampoo on his suit. Her words in his heart. It sounds too much like a movie, he thinks, but he would've have it any other way.

It's their anniversary today.

Well, he corrects himself, it should have been. Their very first. And he hates how he remembers what today is, how he can't help but think about her all day even when he tries his best not to. She's in everything he sees. It shouldn't be like this.

'What a terrible day,' he tells them. 'It's raining, I actually had to work today, some intern spilled coffee on my suit, and none of the girls in the bar tonight are hot enough to sleep with.'

'I don't know. I got a raise today.' Lily shrugs.

He steels himself, looking into her eyes for a moment. And he knows, he just fucking knows she's thinking of the same thing he is, and he stands up.

'Where are you going?' Ted asks.

'I'm buying myself a bottle of wine. A big one. The biggest.'

'Why?'

'I'm commiserating my suit, obviously. Anything else?'

It kills him that he's being such an asshole to her, to all of them.

And he gets so drunk he doesn't know how, an hour later, he's sitting at the back of cab with a brunette girl, kissing. She has a tattoo on her breasts. He pulls back, confused, and puts his arm between them.

'Who are you?'

She giggles. 'Robin. At least, that's what you've been calling me for the past thirty minutes.'

'Sorry.'

'Don't apologize.' She lunges forward at his lips. He shifts his head. 'What?'

'I can't do this.'

He yells for the cab driver to stop, throws a couple of bills on the seat and gets out. His head feels cloudy, his heart heavy, and he can't figure out where exactly in New York he is.

He waves another cab, singing wildly to throw off the melancholy creeping up. He refuses to think about her.

XXX

She tells them not to make a fuss on her birthday—no presents, no surprise parties, no songs from Marshall. Nothing. But he doesn't believe her like the others do and buys her a gift anyway.

He waits until she goes to buy them a round to show it to her. Knowing she would love it already. Smiling, he pulls out a box from inside his suit and sets it on the bar.

'Barney, what's this?'

'Your gift.'

'But I told you guys, I don't want anything for my birthday.'

He scoffs. 'Even if I did buy that speech you made, I think this will change your mind.'

'Fine.'

And the look in her eyes when she sees it, it's everything he imagined everyday since he bought if for her. She takes it out and fingers it, grinning at him.

'Dude! How did you know?'

'I had my gun guy find it. Mini-revolver from the 80's. And there are bullets inside, so put it down. Or point it at Ted.'

She smiles at him. "I love it.'

'I told you.'

If this were before they fell in love, he thinks, they'd have their hands wrapped around each other in an embrace. But things are different. They stand there, apart, awkwardly, smiles fading into the noise of the bar. He almost forgets that the rest of the gang might be watching.

'This is the best thing anyone's given me,' she tells him.

'Even better than a blue French horn?'

She leans forward. The smell of her can intoxicate him more than any bottle of alcohol. Her lips tenderly on his cheek, the line on his jaw.

'Way better.'

He offers to help with the drinks.

XXX

Marshall makes up another one of his games. Seven Minutes in Heaven, I Never, Backgammon rolled into one. So they sit around in a circle, Barney pulling at his tie. She looks beautiful across him.

'All right. Barney, your turn!'

He wonders if he wants the bottle to land pointing at her. It's pure fate, pure coincidence when it does.

'All right, buddy! It means you guys lock yourself up in that closet, tell each other something you've never done with the person and come back. Then, if you happen to kiss—'

'This game sucks,' he blows. The truth is his heart is beating wildly. 'Come on, Scherbatsky. Let's get this over with.'

The closet, he thinks, is smaller than it used to be. It's not like he hasn't been in here with a woman before. With her. He doesn't know what to say. And he's torn between throwing off some shallow remark because he's scared to be honest.

'I'll start,' she says.

'Shoot.'

'I never told you how much the Super Date meant to me. Even if Don and I didn't work out.'

He releases a breath. 'Okay. My turn.' He pauses. 'I never got to try that move, remember the Canadian site we surfed—'

'Oh, God, Barney!'

'What?'

Her face is twisted in the kind of way he can't stand. Disappointment and all its friends. He wonders if being such a coward is worth doing this.

'Is that all? I mean, yes, I know you can be a jerk, but I'm the only one here. Nobody else can see us. I thought you'd be a little more. . .honest?'

'Ted-like, you mean.'

'That wouldn't be so bad.'

He winces. She turns around, one hand grasping the knob to leave when his arm catches her left, instinctively. Her fingers are cold. He tugs her back, until they are face to face, and she stands there with her arms folded.

'I'm sorry.'

'And?'

'And I'm also sorry I never got to take you to that super-date.'

She relaxes into a kind of smile. 'I appreciate it, Barney.'

When they decide seven minutes is up, he pushes the door open. They find Ted, Marshall and Lily, all guilty listening by the door, glasses in their hands. They shrug and grin.

'The rules,' Marshall starts, clearing his throat. 'We had to make sure you guys actually talked.'

XXX

They bump into Shannon one day, in a crowded diner where she is a waitress. The last time he had seen her, years ago, he promised to call and never did. He has half a mind to duck out, or maybe under the table, but he doesn't want the others to know seeing Shannon still makes him a nervous wreck.

'Hey, Barney,' she greets cheerfully. 'Funny seeing you here, right?'

'Yeah, definitely. Sorry I, uh, didn't get to call you.'

'I guess I deserved it.'

Robin leans forward, eyebrows raised. 'So, you're the infamous Shannon. Nice to meet you.'

'You're a legend to us,' Ted adds, shaking her hand.

And he just sits there, trying to reel himself in and be calm, when all he wants is to bolt out of the restaurant. He won't ever say how humiliating it is.

But he makes it through the night, almost perfectly. He tells his jokes, he doesn't look at Shannon once straight in the eye, he doesn't adjust his tie, his voice is collected.

'I think you handled it well,' Lily tells him after, as they are sitting at the back of the cab. Robin next to him, stealing his senses. 'I'm proud of you.'

Ted and Marshall give him a high-five. Robin is quiet.

Before they all climb up Ted's apartment, she holds him back to ask a question. He looks back, but the others haven't noticed.

'What is it?'

'I was just wondering. I don't know, maybe it's stupid, but um, don't laugh.'

Okay.'

'What did I have in common with her? Shannon, I mean.'

He laughs. 'Nothing at all.'

'There must be something. Even if she's a waitress with a kid alone, and I'm, you know, the opposite.'

'My point exactly.'

'What?'

'I knew her when I was a lame, foolish hippie. Now I'm this awesome, and I'm friends with you. It says something.'

'I'm not going to end up like that.'

'No way.' He laughs again, following her up the stairs in the freezing cold. He'd never let anyone do that to her, he thinks.

XXX

I love you as one loves certain dark things,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

He just swallows his liquor when she brings a date to their booth, a tall and brunette rockstar named Rob she'd met at a concert. And she seems genuinely awed by this guy, at the jokes he tells. Which are, he has to admit, pretty fucking funny.

And if she thinks it might make him jealous, she's right. But he won't lose. No. Barney Stinson doesn't know the definition of losing a competition. He's sure the number of women he's slept with post-breakup makes him the winner between them.

While she had a serious relationship, that is. She was willing to refuse her dream job for it.

'What are your plans for tonight, Barney?' Lily asks.

'Me? Well, got this date later.'

'Who?'

'A supermodel I met the other day. You might know her? She's a Victoria's Secret model. The next Gisele Bunchen.'

'What's her name?' Ted asks.

'Um, Tatiana.'

'I don't remember any of them named Tatiana.' Ted looks embarrassed.

Marshall and Barney raise their eyebrows.

'She's a redhead, likes to smoke, really tanned, sexy Russian accent. Wears ridiculous heels. If Robin is an eight point five, this chick, she's a twenty,' he says.

Marshall grins. 'Woah. Nice, dude.'

'I'm a lucky guy.'

So he has no choice. He waves them goodbye, putting on his best smirk and disappears into the rainy atmosphere. And it's too cold, he thinks, to go home. It's too empty. He opts for a strip club instead where he throws hundreds just to feel something, anything, and he can't. Because Robin's smile as she introduced Rob, he missed the way she used to look at him that way.

'Private room,' he shouts at the club manager, pushing bills into his hands. 'Only your best women.'

XXX

His company, in an effort to boost its image and efficiency has decided to send one of their 'most promising stars'. Him. And he doesn't object. He could, but he thinks it's the best decision for all of them.

It's temporary, definitely; five months at least, until things hike up again.

'Are you going to tell us what you actually do for a living first?' Lily asks, as they see him off at the airport. She hugs him and lets go.

He just laughs.

'You know what's weird?' Ted adds. 'I was supposed to get a job in Chicago. And Robin. Now you, and it's just such a coincidence.'

Marshall embraces him tearfully. 'I'll miss our conference calls. I know, I'll send you a photomontage!'

'Please don't.'

And he can't help but notice her, just standing a little aloof, not smiling at all. He wishes she would say something to him now. Should he pass off some little remark about a bag full of condoms?

'What's in the bag?' she says, pointing at the one directly behind him. As if reading him.

He shakes his head. Subtly, Marshall and Ted and Lily make excuses to leave them alone.

'You'll come for Christmas,' she tells him, fixing his tie. More a fact than question.

'Of course.'

'And Ted's birthday in a month.'

'Of course.'

'And if Lily and Marshall find themselves pregnant?'

'Definitely.'

'Halloween?'

'I'll come in costume.'

'Don't forget New Year's, all right? And, God, I can't remember the other holidays right now.'

He nods. A lump at the back of his throat, because she looks so goddamn beautiful in this light he can't breathe. 'Robin.'

She expresses disgust at her tears. Trying to laugh it off.

He gives her a hug—no kisses, nothing like that. Just two arms draped around her. He is conscious that she's involved, after all, with Rob.

'Why didn't you bring him, your boyfriend?' he mutters into her hair. She pulls back a little, laughing. 'What?'

'I broke up with him, you idiot. He was too conceited for me.'

'Oh. Oh, that's terrible!'

She smacks his arm lightly. 'Shut up.'

He walks away with three bags and the scent of her shampoo on his suit. Her words in his heart. It sounds too much like a movie, he thinks, but he would've have it any other way.

I might do a Robin POV chapter. If anybody would be interested that is. Thanks!