Hey everyone! I had handwritten this in my little journal a while ago and thought I'd share. A little Killian crackfic goodness that wouldn't leave me alone after the Oscars. I don't even. Who knows. Putting Killian in any situation inevitably leads to feels, adorbs or hilarity. Forgive me for this haha! It was mostly to amuse myself.
And the Oscar goes to…
Charming and Hook were bonding.
They were bonding over the Academy Awards.
It happened accidentally... and would more than likely never happen again.
Killian had been receiving an education on "real" world customs from Henry, who had chosen Snow as his rather hesitant assistant while Emma was at the station, solving some dispute between the dwarves. The young boy was talking the pirate's ear off about his history class, and Killian had become regrettably distracted by the moving painting his majesty was so fixated on. Though Killian had only seen a few movies, he'd come to love them. Much of the pirate's time at sea had been spent swapping stories with his crew, and the concept of being able to watch a tale happening before him was magical, indeed. Hook turned his line of enquiry to the television, and Henry wasted no time in taking a seat next to his grandpa on the sofa.
Charming had first discovered he had a thing for awards season when he stumbled upon Emma and Snow watching the Golden Globes. He rooted for the good guys to win, and the pomp and circumstance of such a grand affair reminded him of balls and feasts in his kingdom, mixed with modern simpering and celebrity. Snow liked the gowns and would engage Emma in playful debates on who was "the fairest of them all" and Emma liked the speeches and Jennifer Lawrence's interview candor. Charming has been excited for the Oscars for weeks.
Hook sat down beside Henry, perplexed. He'd failed to understand the young lad's explanation of Hollywood and celebrities. He was especially puzzled when The Avengers came on stage introduced under aliases, for their protection, he assumed. Or maybe they preferred these names... but everyone else had failed to acknowledge this, settling instead for their colourful monikers. I know the feeling, he said to himself. He liked that Henry called him Captain rather than Hook. Recently the small boy had experimented in calling him Killian, and tugged at something deep within the pirate's heart.
"Why is the man of iron being introduced as a mere mortal? Don't they know? Is he not receiving gold for his good deeds?" Killian enquired. Charming tried and failed to explain to the concept of celebrity to the pirate captain.
"So they're like thieves!" Killian surmised, "Playing roles to con the general public in to believing they are the roles the assume on screen, and then they steal the audience's money? I like them already." He finished, smiling his best dastardly grin.
"Well…I supposed that's not too far from the truth." Charming conceded.
"It's kind of like a kingdom!" Henry piped up, bouncing in his seat.
"Well done, Henry." Charming praised his grandson, ruffling his hair and smiling proudly. "He's right, Hook. There's princes, princesses, jokers, scholars—a whole court, really."
"And...who is their Queen?" Killian asked innocently.
"Umm… Meryl Streep?" Charming answered, looking at Henry who gave a nod of approval.
"And the King?" the pirate pressed on.
"Maybe Jack Nicholson?" Charming suggested offhandedly.
"So the King and Queen have many of those little gold trinkets?"
"Oscars? You bet!" said Henry enthusiastically.
Oscars… surely it must be confusing to have many soldiers of the same name.
"Can you show me more of this Hollywood land, lad?"
"Cool! I'll get the laptop, wait here Killian." Henry beamed, scampering off into the next room.
Hook has resolved to storm the castle of Queen Meryl, and steal her army of little gold men. He would draw up plans and set sail for Hollywood at first light.
Soooo...yeah. I hope you enjoyed this little spot of silliness! I think the absence of CS is making me a little crazy.