Disclaimer: I don't own a thing!

A/N: Just a little funny thing thrown together for my lovely ladies! (Harleyzgirl, Sangreal7, KricketWilliams, emzypemzy, Fanatical Writer, LoveforPenandDerek and Jenrar)

Hope you enjoy – will probably be a TWOshot!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Junk In Your Trunk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

This was not Kevin Lynch's idea of a Tuesday night well spent. In his honest opinion, this was damn right degrading and, in its own right, unforgivable.

Now as he looked at his signal in the top right of his cell's screen he realized he was done for. SOS certainly wasn't going to grant him a conversation with his girlfriend and his game play from earlier while passing the time waiting on Penelope had most definitely killed his battery.

Stretching out he was surprised how spacious the trunk of this old car really was. He wasn't cramped at all as he lay on his back in it. However, admiring the luxury of his predicament didn't deter boredom from evolving into tiredness and he couldn't help but allow his eyes to just flutter shut after yawning for the umpteenth time.

"Did Hotch say how long we'd be out for?" Penelope's voice spoke out, drawing Kevin out of his weak slumber.

"Afraid not, Baby Girl, but with a body count this high and no actual leads it's looking like we're out for the long haul," Derek told her regrettably. He hated cases like this the most.

Penelope groaned but didn't dwell for too long, "Unless my amazingly awesome power with my babies find us our baddie ASAP, of course. I vow to bring us home before the end of the week," She chirped at her best friend.

"Mmm my hero," Derek teased lovingly as they walked down the courtyard of Penelope's apartment block. He always found Penelope at her sexiest when she was driven and optimistic – which happened to be almost nearly every day.

"Let's get going then, Morgs," Penelope replied and picked up her pace.

Kevin knew he needed out and so he banged on the hood of the trunk and screamed out for his Penny to save him. If she was Derek's hero, she was certainly going to be his hero before they set off anywhere.

"What was that?" Penelope asked as she halted and turned on the heels of her stilettos. She looked around, looking directly at her car for a moment as if instinctively. She looked around and heard nothing.

"Probably a cat down by the bins," Derek replied as he stepped into the little doorway that allowed easy access to the parking. "C'mon, we need to be at the airstrip in twenty and at this rate we're not going to make it."

Nodding, Penelope stood still; something not feeling right and when she heard the noise again she stepped towards the gateway and listened. Even after Derek went off, taking her go bag with him.

"C'mon, Baby Girl," Derek called out from his SUV as he stood holding the door open for her.

"Coming!" Penelope replied and taking one look she walked away hastily, the only sound now was her heels hitting the pavement beneath her feet. "Remind me to call Kevin when we land. He told me he had some show tonight, but was being sketchy with details," Penelope told Derek as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Sure thing, Sweetness," Derek replied closing the door before jogging around to his side and clambering in ready to hunt down the bad guy. "You've got three days to get us home before the week's out," Derek told her as he kicked started the engine and readied to pull out onto the street. "You get us home and there's an expensive date with your name on it."

Penelope giggled, "Oh, I've just been issued with incentive."

"Better than getting home to Kevin?" Derek queried casually, not really knowing the status of that relationship.

Penelope schooled both her expression and reaction to that, "Way better, believe me," Was all she said as she got her phone out and decided to drop Kevin a text for safe measures.

Derek didn't want to press the matter, but he had heard less and less about the wondrous Kevin Lynch over the waning months and Penelope's response made him only conclude that they were headed towards 'Splits-Ville' sooner rather than later.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Junk In Your Trunk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Kevin lay still. He was exasperated and feeling like a fool. Of course, Penelope had been home before being called out on a case and now she was jetting off somewhere that wasn't near home. Kevin's eyes pinged opened at that. She was going on the case. Penelope wasn't going to be in town to get him out and he knew he had no other way out.

Manoeuvring over, Kevin tried to pop the lock again but, alas, he wasn't made to pick locks and plan getaways and escapes. He was just the dude that sat back and hacked a person's life apart. This was way too physical for him. Flipping over he come face to face with a shovel and took a double look. As he moved it he found rope and a blanket. This was like a body disposal unit rather than a classic orange caddy! Shaking all ill thoughts from his mind he pushed on the back of the seats and didn't even feel them relent at the pressure. He pushed back and put his legs to it as best he could in the small area – the cramped feeling taking over – and pushed with his feet. Still no movement and he gave up. Looking at his watch, he pushed button on the side and watched it light up. Just past eleven in the evening meant that he wasn't moving very far.

Falling flat on his back Kevin put his arms over his eyes and begged to wake up in his bed – or Penelope's. Anywhere that wasn't locked away with no food or water.

He knew that cases for Penelope could last weeks, and he knew even though they tried their hardest, they couldn't control the variables to each case. He had heard the details muffled by the metal and quietened by the distance and he knew the figures were not looking good for him.

Then it struck him.

What was Derek Morgan doing picking up Penelope? She was plenty capable of taking herself to work, to the airstrip. She was fully able and independent to take care of herself over such mediocre things in day to day life. So why had Morgan been in her apartment?

Kevin didn't know if this was his mind finally clocking all of the negative thoughts that he had locked away in the back of his mind together to make sense or cabin fever setting in, but whatever, he realised that whatever he and Penelope did, he would always be in competition with Derek for Penelope's finest attention.

A game he would never win.

He knew full well that he and Penelope's relationship was sitting on the rocks and it wasn't looking like it was going to be getting any better. This was his last chance to surprise her and give her a night that would hopefully push them onto firmer ground. Give her something that would affirm his love of her.

However, even he was doubting it entirely. His plan was a shambles; his way of luring her out was a mess and Derek was always, always going to be hanging around.

He had to admit that they were part of a sinking ship. Grabbing his phone he moved around the trunk and tried to find a spot that would give him perfect signal to just get enough time to call Penelope back. It was pointless, the parking garage didn't give reception at the best of times and now here he was stuck in the back of a car.

Giving up, Kevin turned on his side, grabbed the screwed up blanket from the corner and threw it over his bottom half and prepared for a night in the trunk of Penelope's car.

In the morning he was going to get someone's attention if it killed.

Either way, he was a dead man.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Junk In Your Trunk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-