Hi! Thank you for choosing to read this. I hope you enjoy it! I apologize for any grammar mistakes or mistakes in general-KAT
11:30
I lay in bed and screw my eyes shut, trying desperately to block out the world and keep the tears in. The burning in the back of my eyes is something I know
won't disappear for hours. Eventually though, it'll give away to sobbing, and then hiccups, and then, finally, I'll be thrown into unconsciousness. My nose is all
thick and I can't breathe properly, so I take a deep breath. Mistake. Spearmint invades my every pore, my being, and I seem to collapse. I gasp and clutch at
the green sheets, the silken fabric sliding through my fingers as I sob.
11:45
Cold tears proceed to slide down my cheeks, cooled by the air. He shouldn't have yelled at me. After fifteen minutes, this is the conclusion I have come to….yet I
can't bring myself to be angry with him. I understand that I was acting completely irrationally, and I probably shouldn't have attempted to hex his bollocks off,
but that was no excuse to scream at me like he did!
.
A little part of me understands the screaming, but that's a very, VERY, little part. Like, half the length of a wand. I was acting like a child, which is
understandable. I mean, after all, I am only twenty-two years old. I twist the green silk sheets tighter in my hands, clutching them desperately, like it'll bring
him to me.
.
It's like there's a war going on inside my head. One side of me wants him to come and apologize in his stubborn way and the other side is angry at him and
wants him to keep as far away as possible. Spearmint fills my head once more and the tears are back, burning in the corners of my eyes. He knows I don't like
it when he yells at me. He never yells. I do the most stupid of things all the time and he never screams. He gets angry and he goes about the place muttering
about my stupidity, but he never yells. I can count on one hand how many times he's screamed at me like tonight.
.
He only gets that upset when he can't find anything. I chuckle at the thought, thinking of the countless times he's lost his quill or a book, then shudder. The
laughter turns to tears quickly.
11:55
He had every right to scream at me like he did. I was acting childish and took my frustration out on him. The first boom of the fireworks go off in the
background. There has been a lot of pent up frustration in the house within the past week or so. Yesterday it became so bad that he snapped at Crookshanks
(unusual for him as he thinks talking to animals is silly and a waste of his time) and rendered his cauldron beyond repair, the potion he had been making had
sat too long and melted through the bottom. I in turn, hexed poor Ronald when he came to visit and threw a dish or two at the wall during one of my
meltdowns.
.
Finals are in a little less than a week and I need to pass them before becoming a Healer. I've been studying for two weeks, stressing and frustrating, and
tonight I snapped. I couldn't find my notes and he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. I shouldn't have snapped at him and he had every right to
scream at me.
.
I may deserve the shouting, but that doesn't make it any better. I bury my face into the fluffy pillow in front of me, still trying to block out the world.
12:00
My face burns and my cheeks itch from the constant tears running down my face. Two crying fits later, and in the middle of a third, I have come to the
conclusion that despite my childishness I didn't deserve to be screamed at like I was. He may be frustrated and stressed out, but that does not give him any
right to shout at me.
.
We'll settle this in the morning, I decide. He's most likely been seriously depleting our fire whiskey supply for quite awhile now and it's never a good idea to go
and argue with him when he's drunk. When he's drunk, he's sarcastic and cruel and every argument ends in tears. I've only made that mistake once.
There door slams open behind me, bashing against the opposite wall, and I slam my eyes shut, pressing my lips together to hold in my squeak of terror. Please
don't come near me. Please don't come near me. The bed depresses when he sits down. I twist the sheets in my hand tighter, rubbing my thumb against the
silk. They're damp from my tears and I'm stupidly wishing for my wand to dry them.
.
The bed squeaks and protests as he shifts his position. Suddenly I'm swathed in his heat, like a comfortable, if suffocating, blanket. Again, I'm torn. Half of me
wants to box his ears and hex him into oblivion while the other wants to cry, again, and curl into him. The former is winning. I turn to begin my tirade when he
crushes his lips to mine, nipping my bottom lip.
.
Why are we kissing when he's mad at me? After a moment of completely melting against him it hits me. I'm so stupid. He's not mad at me. Oh Severus. I wrap
my arms around him, pushing myself as close to him as possible. One of his hands presses into my lower back while the other cups around the back of my neck,
crushing me against him. I squeal as he twists us around, pinning me to the mattress and hovering above me, his hair tickling the end of my nose. I push it
behind his ear, my eyes never leaving his for a moment.
.
A moment of utter silence and brilliance passes, the intensity of it almost frightening. But this is my Severus and I have no reason to be frightened.
.
"Happy New Year," He whispers before capturing my lips with his own.
~fin~
Thanks for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it! Please read and review! - KAT