Dearest
~ Belldandy ~
Could Harry ever forgive Severus for a mistake uttered in
a moment of passion? Snarry, 7th year, AU after Book 5,
Non-explicit BoyXBoy, Non-explicit Violence. M (to be safe)
Harry Potter / Severus Snape
~oo0oo~
This story was inspired by this amazing artwork:
Stability by ~tripperfunster
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Chapter I: It Comes To This
Nearing his completion, Severus buried his fingers in the soft hair at the back of Harry's head and pulled him closer so that the boy's face was nestled in the nape of his neck. He buried his own face into Harry's silky hair.
Never in his life having felt so cherished and loved, the protective, possessive gesture sent Harry over the edge. A colourful breeze signalled the release of Harry's magicks which swirled around them in ever increasing intensity. If not for the strength of Severus' wards – along with the extra efforts of the castle – the entire building would have felt the shock waves of such power. Harry clung to Severus, trembling through his release, even as Severus' own climax shuttered through him.
The universe shattered into a kaleidoscope of vibrant colours, only to reform itself with the singular entity known as Harry/Severus at its centre. Completely overwhelmed at such perfection they continued to cling to each other, trembling and spent.
When Severus again became aware, he felt dampness on his neck. He pulled away enough to see those extraordinary emerald eyes shimmering with emotion and a tear-stained face. Panic threatened for just a moment before he was able to clamp it down. He managed to keep his voice from quivering – much – as he addressed the young man cradled in his arms.
"Are you … did I … Did I hurt you, Little One?" Certainly no one (In the history of the world?) had ever before heard the intelligent, ever articulate Severus Snape stutter over his words. Neither did either man seem to notice that the oft used insult had somehow become an endearment.
Still too overcome to speak, Harry just managed to shake his head 'no'. As his tears continued Severus gently stroked them away with his thumb. If his hands shook slightly, he would never admit it.
"Then why …?" Harry tried to catch his breath enough to speak, but it hitched again as Severus kissed away more tears in a gesture of infinite tenderness. Harry's own hands shook as He took Severus' face gently between them and pulled him into the sweetest, most chaste of kisses. Then those startling eyes met his again.
"I love you, Severus Tobias Snape." Then Harry's eyes shuttered closed as he pulled Severus in for another kiss.
Before their lips could meet however, Severus was gone! In the sudden shock, Harry was unable to prevent crying out as Severus pulled roughly from his body. He curled up, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control his breathing. He did not even notice the tingle of the cleansing charm which Severus hastily cast upon them both.
"Get out!" Harry's eyes snapped open in further shock to see as Severus quickly tied a silken robe around himself.
"W … what?"
Severus paced frantically around the room. 'Salazar Slytherin,' his thoughts were frantic, 'this wasn't supposed to happen!' Harry was not supposed to fall in love (with him). Severus didn't honestly expect to survive the tempest that was quickly making its way towards them. It was one of the reasons he had given into his own love for the boy on this night. Harry however, could not afford to be distracted by concerns for Severus' well-being during the heat of the coming battle.
"Has your hearing become as inadequate as your intelligence? I said get out - out of my bed, out of my chambers – get your scrawny arse out of my sight!"
"But, I … Severus, we …"
"You will not be so familiar with me. I am still your Professor!"
The shock, and years of conditioning took over as Harry slowly began to pull himself from the bed.
"Yes Sir." He tried his best not to wince as he sat up – he would show no weakness to Snape now. "I'm sorry, Sir … It's only … I thought …"
"What could you possibly think in that feeble mind of yours? Have you deluded yourself into thinking us lovers? Did you think that I could care for you? You're being ridiculous boy, you mean nothing to me!"
Harry was too distraught to notice that Severus could not look at him. The Potions Master continued to pace as Harry searched for his glasses.
"But … we …"
"Don't read anything more into this but what it was. We are two warriors participating in a century's old tradition, indulging in a little sexual release before a great battle, nothing more!"
"But you … we were …"
"Articulate as always you insufferable brat." Severus all but spat his contempt.
Still not having found his glasses, Harry paused in his search, incensed by the continued insults. He straightened and tried to face Severus, drawing on all the Gryffindor courage he could muster. His voice wavered, and his eyes shimmered, but he refused to allow any more tears to fall; to show any further weakness.
"You … you held me … like you … like you cherished me!"
'Fuck!' Severus thought desperately. 'How did I let this happen?' This had to be stopped before it cost them the war. Severus ceased pacing and turned frozen eyes on the heart wrenching figure before him. Then he said it: the one thing that would guaranty Harry would hate him forever.
"You foolish boy! I was thinking of Lily, a feat simplified in the extreme by the fact that you have her eyes!" Unable to bare the devastation in that face he loved so much, Severus turned and angrily grabbed the closest robe. He threw it at the trembling boy. "Now, get the fuck out!"
Instantly Harry was gone. Neither noticed that he had just apparated past both Hogwarts and Severus' wards. Severus staggered to his bed, clutched Harry's pillow to his chest, and gave into tears, as he never had before. He was likely going to his grave today having just alienated the one person he has loved more than any other in his life; the one beautiful soul that he had ever wanted to live for.
~oo0oo~
Harry stood outside Severus' chambers and stared at his door. He clutched the robe to his chest and willed that door open: for this had to be a mistake. He noticed not his nudity, nor the cold, as he stood in the (thankfully) deserted dungeon corridor.
From out of nowhere Dobby appeared and pried the robe from those ice cold fingers. With his own magic, he dressed Harry, yet neither noticed that the hem of the robe pooled at Harry's feet and the neckline fell from one lean shoulder.
"Harry Potter Sir needs to get out of this cold place!" Harry made no notice, nor offered any resistance, as Dobby led him toward the stairs. Harry managed only a few steps before it all came crashing down around him.
This time when the universe shattered, it was to the sound of roaring in his ears, and to the pain of Harry's knees hitting the floor. No, this time there would be no reformation!
He neither noticed the tears that streamed down his face, nor his uncontrollable shivering, as he managed to crawl into a small alcove. Harry gave into his despair. Nor did he notice as Dobby disappeared, only to reappear a few minutes later with Draco Malfoy at his side.
Draco took one look at Harry, recognised the robe, which gave him some idea of what must have happened between Harry and Severus.
"Oh! Harry." He kneeled down and looked into unseeing eyes. "It will be all right Baby, just come with me." In one smooth motion Draco picked up the smaller figure and carried him to the Hospital Wing and to the tender mercies of Madam Pomfrey.
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NB: As you can see this story is (going to be) full of angst; I make no apologies because I simply love a tortured Harry. Also, the characters are very OOC, otherwise how could they be gay? Don't Like, Don't Read! Also, don't expect much in the way of 'Author's Notes', I figure if it's not important enough to put it into the text of the story, it can't really be that important, can it? This story is un-Beta-ed, so please let me know if you see any mistakes: Constructive Criticism is very welcome! . Any questions or comments: Please feel free to send a PM to me. Reviews would be very much appreciated, but I won't beg for them, because I enjoyed writing this fic and that's a reward in itself!
This story is complete and typed up, so I will be posting one chapter a week, hopefully on Thursdays, so keep checking back if you're interested, but be warned, it's not a long story – Nine Chapters.
- Belldandy
Don't forget to check out Stability by ~tripperfunster, (How much do I love her work?)which can be found at: art/Stability-69838472?offset=10
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Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Potterverse, otherwise you'd be at the bookstore paying for this! Just having some fun in Jo's playground!
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