Stream of Thoughts

A little drabble on Kakashi's thoughts, from his first non-violent conversation with Iruka to… beaches and dolphins. Written for the Moonlight challenge on LJ's naruto500 community. Mild KakaIru.

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Naruto.

Author Notes: I think I've cracked a little bit when I wrote this. Decided to upload these drabbles on my account. Please give some feedback; I'd love to know how to improve my writing. The drabble jumps around from place to place, resembling a stream of thoughts; thus, the title.

I don't get why people have this obsession over my hair.

Sure, it's silver, and gravity defying without the aid of gel. Sure, it's soft, silky and wow, check out the range of colors you get when you turn a spotlight on it! It's not a common sight around Konoha, that's for sure.

Seriously though, what's the fascination with it anyway?

For those of you who obsess about my hair… well, you've obviously never seen Iruka under the moonlight.

I think the first time we had a genuine conversation without snapping and biting each other's heads off was when I was walking around Konoha one night. Goodness knows why he was sitting on top of his roof that deep into the night, but he was there, probably composing poetry about the moon with that warm innocent heart of his.

Anyhow, I pleaded tiredness that night. I just got back from a rather harrowing mission – nothing life threatening, mind you – but unpleasant enough to keep me up that night. Plus, a certain loudmouth blonde waylaid me and growled at me for about an HOUR because I wasn't there to train the team that day. Eventually I tied him up and left him screaming on a tree somewhere – there's only so much a man can take, even while reading Icha Icha Paradise.

I decided to take a walk. It helps clear my mind, and at least during the night, there wouldn't be anyone around bothering me.

I needed to take the time to think and reflect after every assassination I make.

So when I saw Iruka sitting on his roof in the middle of a freezing winter night, I thought for a moment that maybe he had cracked under the pressure of teaching twenty screaming, hyperactive kids. He's only a chuunin, for goodness sake, and a school teacher at that. Any worries he has could probably never match up to those actively working jounins face. Being the smug, overly confident person that I was… I decided to go check him out.

It wasn't as if I wanted to pick a fight with him, or anything. All our confrontations prior to that moonlit night ended in harsh, cutting comments being exchanged and one of us – usually Iruka – storming off.

But I was tired. And there were one too many thoughts running through my head. Most of all, however, I just needed to presence of someone living around me, even if all we did was to exchange sarcastic remarks.

"What do you want, Kakashi-sensei?" He said half huffily, and half resignedly; a strange combination, I thought at that time, as I landed lightly next to him on that moonlit roof. He turned towards me, the full moon behind him throwing his face into shadow.

"I'm not here to pick a fight." I replied bluntly; it was the closest thing to an apology he was ever going to receive. For some reason, I dreaded the thought of being pushed away; after a day of killing, of being one of Konoha's finely honed weapons, I needed to feel human again. But after a long silence, even I knew it was time to leave.

A half smile upon his face stopped me in my tracks. "You can stay, Kakashi-sensei. If you want to." Till this day, I still don't know how he knew; I might wear a mask to hide my features, but I also had expert control over my body language and emotion. Yet he knew that I had come to make peace; not only with him, but with myself. I watched a stray moonbeam glint off his dark brown locks, and took a silent seat next to him.

From then on, I became used to meeting Iruka upon a roof or tree; any location where we could bask in the moon's soft, steady glow. Sometimes we exchanged sarcastic remarks, and once or twice, we actually got away mere idle chat. As time past by, we found ourselves immersed more and more in silence, a silence that was filled with companionship and a subtle understanding. There we would sit, for hours at a time, until a faint tinge of fire touched the edges of the horizon, signifying the impeding sunrise.

And the rest, Iruka once told me teasingly, was history.

One day, I'd really like to take him to the beach. It's always been a lifelong wish of his to meet those sleek, intelligent creatures that share his namesake. I found this hidden passion of his one day when we ensconced up a tree near the beginning of spring. It was also around that time when I finally began to realize that… perhaps, Iruka was the one person I had been searching for. I had been restlessly roaming the world and Konoha itself, searching for a hidden entity, the one thing that could put me at peace.

I found that tranquility within the long, silent conversations we had atop Iruka's roof.

People tend to think I'm a very complicated person. Genius Sharingan user, genin at six, former ANBU member, they cry, of course he's a very complex person. Perhaps that's true, but really, I only have one wish.

I'd be content to sit there for all of eternity, just watching Iruka play with the dolphins, to hear his warm, rich laughter at the mammals' antics. To see the pale moonlight glow in contrast with his dark, tanned skin, because only during the night do our true selves emerge.

Iruka wouldn't have to suppress his worry about his former students or hide his grief at the deaths of his students, his parents and his comrades. I no longer have to constantly be the quick, intelligent genius I'm reputed to be; I can shed the weapons, and for a short while, become a mortal, a fallible human. Deaths, pain, and suffering; we no longer have to keep them at bay, half hidden behind a mask where they will only grow deeper.

Morbid thoughts there…

I think I'll go drag Iruka into the bath. It's not the same as going to the seaside, but hey, maybe if I open the window some moonlight will shine through and who needs dolphins when they've got me?

Hehehe…

Hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it!