Title: I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus
Author: captstarbuck
Rating: T
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimers: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. (I don't own any of the characters from Grey's Anatomy.
Summary: Sequel to Full Circle. A Christmas plan goes awry, causing turmoil in the Robbins-Torres household.
Editor: I can never thank my beta-now-editor Stacy d'Lacy enough. A quick shoutout to pens_co927, too, as she was there when the idea was first discussed a year ago.
I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus
Chapter 1
December 18th, 2017
The guilt she felt was constantly eating at Arizona Robbins. The more it ate at her, the further she withdrew. She was going to work early, coming home late, chasing surgeries and all because she couldn't bring herself to stay at home any longer than absolutely necessary. And she hated herself because of it. It was spiraling out of control. And the worst, well, maybe not the worst, thing about it was that her wife suspected something. Avoiding Callie was the only thing she could do. If she had to spend more than a few minutes with her wife, she'd be forced to tell Callie, and that was something that Arizona just couldn't do.
Shoulders slumped, she stopped at the coffee cart and bought two coffees, two donuts and a piece of banana bread. She hoped her friend April was out of surgery by now. Maybe she could talk to her. April was pretty empathetic and even if she didn't have any words of advice, she was a good listener.
Goodies in hand, Arizona hustled up to the surgical floor. April was handing a chart back to the nurse behind the desk.
"Hey," Arizona greeted her friend. "I have coffee, and a piece of that banana bread you love so much."
"Arizona," April sighed.
"What?"
"This is third time in a week you've brought me coffee and a snack. For gosh's sake, Arizona, stop courting me! I am a happily married woman. As are you, I might add. Quit it with the coffee and donuts and and..."
Arizona's face was full of confusion. "Courting? No, being friendly. This is what friends do."
"You're courting me, Arizona, and it needs to stop."
Arizona stepped back and looked at April. The confusion was quickly replaced by comprehension. "You've been watching Dr. Quinn re-runs again, haven't you?" she asked with a knowing smile.
April visibly deflated with a heavy sigh. "Yes. Geez, why did Sully have to be so hot?"
Arizona chuckled. "You know, April, it's not entirely out of line for me to bring you coffee. You are my work wife."
"I know, I know." The younger woman was flattered that she was considered to be Arizona's work wife. If you'd asked April five years ago if she ever thought she'd have a good enough friend amongst the staff to be a work wife, she would've laughed.
"You should be courting your wife, not me, work wife notwithstanding. You're not in my doghouse. You're in your wife's."
April couldn't help but notice the sad look on the blonde's face. No, not just sad; she almost looked guilty. She was almost afraid to ask her friend what was wrong. She'd noticed that Arizona had been spending a lot of time at the hospital, and she suspected that Arizona had even spent a few nights sleeping in her office.
"Doghouse? Who says I'm in the doghouse?" Arizona asked defensively.
"Well, you've been moping around here for the past two weeks or so, and working way too many hours." April gave Arizona one of her most concerned looks, because she was concerned. Clearly Arizona had sought her out several times this week to talk, but the peds surgeon had remained tight-lipped. "What's wrong, Arizona? You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Arizona knew April was sincere and completely non-judgmental. It was one of things that had surprised the peds surgeon the most. Her past experiences with people who held strong religious beliefs was that they had tended to be smug in their holier-than-thou attitude. April's attitude had been refreshing. She once said to Arizona, 'it's not my place to judge. That's up to Jesus'. Maybe Arizona didn't believe in the whole 'Jesus is my savior' doctrine, but April's belief and compassion had made the blonde a little less judgmental in her own right.
"Sofia's tone deaf," Arizona suddenly blurted out.
A perplexed look crossed April's face. "What does that have to do with anything?" she asked Arizona.
"The cherub choir. She's singing. All. The. Time. And she doesn't know the words. I swear if I hear 'Harp the hairless angels sing' one more time," Arizona ranted. "And Callie… Callie has perfect pitch and is trying to coach Sofia but Callie's a hormone casserole with the pregnancy so Sofia's tone deafness is making her irritable. And I'm praying for pages that lead to long surgeries because their combined Christmas spirit is driving me up a wall." Arizona placed a hand over her mouth in shock at what she'd said.
April's jaw dropped. It had been a long time since she'd heard one of Arizona's infamous ramblings. "Arizona!"
"Oh God, I am a terrible, terrible person," Arizona said, aghast at her own words. "I'm a horrible wife and mother."
"Is that why you're in the doghouse?"
"For the last time, I'm not in the doghouse!"
"Are you sure? If the look on your wife's face is any indication…" April gave Arizona an overly exaggerated look over Arizona's shoulder, letting the blonde know that Callie was approaching. She watched in fascination as right in front of her, Arizona transformed herself as the blonde plastered a happy smile on her face before she turned around.
"Hey," she said, leaning in to kiss her wife.
"Don't 'hey' me, Arizona," Callie replied, putting her hand up to prevent the kiss.
"What?"
"I suppose you forgot? It's not like I've had a chance to remind you. You'd have to be home for me to do that."
April quietly edged away from the nurses' station. She didn't need to hear the two women argue. A pregnant, hormonal Callie Torres could be scary. She reached back and snagged her coffee cup before heading off to the doctors' lounge. She knew Arizona would eventually seek her out to talk.
"I didn't forget," Arizona defended herself. At that moment her phone fortuitously began to beep. She reached into her pocket and thrust it into Callie's face. "See? I had my alarm set for fifteen minutes early so I wouldn't forget."
Callie was somewhat mollified by her wife's action, but she was still angry and hurt, and even worried. The past week, Arizona was rarely home before Sofia's bedtime. The few nights that Arizona had made it home for dinner, she was up and out the door right after, fleeing her home for the hospital.
"Well, we'd better get going. We don't want to be late," Arizona said, reaching for her wife's hand.
Callie initially resisted Arizona's hand, but soon relented. Even if she was irritated and worried, Arizona's hand holding hers made her feel that maybe things weren't so bad between them.
"How's work?" Callie asked as they made their way to the Obstetrics department.
"A little on the quiet side this morning, thank goodness. It's been crazy lately."
As they neared the exam room, Arizona could feel the tension rise in Callie.
"You – we – don't have anything to be nervous about," she reassured the Latina. "Everything is fine. We're good."
She brought the darker skinned hand to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on it.
"How can you be so sure?" Callie worried.
"Because I just know," she answered confidently.
Fifteen minutes later Callie was gowned and on the exam table. Arizona sat down on the doctor's stool and rolled over to her wife. She placed a kiss on Callie's swollen belly.
"Hey, baby, this is your mama. Your mommy and I and your big sister Sofia can't wait to meet you," she whispered as she tenderly caressed Callie.
Callie's annoyance with Arizona melted away with her wife's words and actions. She reached out with her hand and ran her fingers through the blonde locks.
"Arizona?"
"Hmmm?" Arizona continued to rub Callie's belly.
"What's wrong?"
"There's nothing wrong," Arizona replied, her body stiffening.
"Arizona, you've hardly been home the past few weeks and I –"
The blonde was saved from having to respond by Dr. Chara entering the room. Arizona immediately shot to her feet and positioned herself behind Callie.
"Arizona, Callie," the younger woman greeted them. "How are you feeling? Anything I should know about?"
"Nope, other than I tire easily," Callie replied.
"Well, that's to be expected."
The doctor prepared for the ultrasound. There were pros and cons of having doctors for patients, especially when the wife of the expectant mother was a pediatric surgeon. She liked not having to explain everything multiple times; that was a good thing. The two of them with their medical knowledge, however, had its drawbacks. They were hyper-alert for any little sign of anything that could be wrong. Given their history, however, she was willing to cut them some slack.
"So, before we start, do you still want to keep the gender of the baby a surprise?"
"Yes," they chorused, their hands linking.
"Well, then, don't look until I see if your baby is going to cooperate."
The doctor angled the screen away from them as she began to move the wand across Callie's abdomen. She murmured to herself as the two women held hands and anxiously waited.
"Okay, the baby's in a good position."
"And?" Arizona prodded.
"Everything looks great. You're right on track for thirty-four weeks," she answered with a smile as she turned the screen back for them to see.
Awestruck with wide smiles, the couple watched the monitor. Arizona slipped an arm around Callie and kissed the side of her head.
"Silly question, but do you want a copy?" Dr. Chara asked.
Both of them nodded, eyes never leaving the screen.
The doctor made a copy for the couple, then held out a towel for Callie. Arizona quickly intercepted it.
"Now, I want to see you every week from now on. You're hitting the homestretch and I want to keep a close eye on you."
"Absolutely."
"And Callie, I want you to get plenty of rest. Your weight is good and so is your blood pressure. I'll even allow you some indulgences over the holidays; in moderation of course," she said with a smile. She patted Callie's knee.
After the doctor left the room, Arizona gently wiped the gel from Callie's skin. She helped Callie dress then assisted her down from the exam table. Once again, Callie was moved by how lovingly her wife took care of her. She began to doubt the fears and worries she'd been harboring since shortly after Thanksgiving.
With the ultrasound copy safely tucked into Callie's purse, the couple headed for the cafeteria. Callie wasn't hungry, at least not for cafeteria food, but she knew Arizona needed to take a break and eat.
"So, tonight you can have chicken piccata or some of Sofia's chicken nuggets for dinner," Callie said as they stood in the food line. "You will be home for dinner."
"Callie, I don't know if –"
"You're not on call and your shift ends at four o'clock. I checked the schedule. There will be no going back to the hospital." Arizona opened her mouth to object, but Callie raised her finger to silence her wife. "No excuses, Arizona."
Callie expected Arizona to get angry or protest, but Arizona surprised her by hanging her head and nodding. She did not expect that reaction at all. Her wife suddenly looked sad and almost a little guilty. Callie decided to let it go for now. She'd talk to Arizona later, at home, when they could have some time alone to talk.
"Are you picking Teddy up at the airport on Thursday, or am I?" Callie asked, changing the topic as they took a seat at one of tables.
"I will."
Arizona had arranged her schedule and was taking a week of vacation, starting Thursday afternoon. It meant she had to work a double on Wednesday in order to leave early to pick Teddy up.
"Are you sure? Won't you be tired?"
"I'll be fine. There's no way… I don't want you making that drive to the airport."
With every week that passed, Arizona had become more and more protective of Callie. She didn't even want Callie to drive at all, but the Latina had drawn the line. Even if she wasn't working, she still needed to grocery shop and taxi Sofia around.
Arizona managed three bites of her cheeseburger and a few mouthfuls of French fries before her pager went off. She glanced down at it. "911 to the pit. I gotta go," she said jumping up.
"Go. I'll see you tonight," Callie said as she lifted her cheek for a kiss from her wife.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It was dark by the time Arizona pulled her SUV into the driveway. She couldn't help but smile as Callie had turned on the Christmas lights. The roof and each of the windows were outlined in the colorful lights, and the Santa Claus and Rudolph on the roof had a spotlight shining brightly on them. Their Christmas tree was lit and sitting in the picture window. Seeing the lights gave the blonde a warm feeling inside. Coming home to her family, to their house with all the decorations was something that still amazed her, something she never thought she'd have, or thought she could even dream.
Her smile widened as she recalled how she'd dragged Teddy outside to help her hang the lights the day after Thanksgiving. It had been a cold, damp miserable day. She and Teddy had bickered, argued and cursed at one other while standing on ladders, and then later when they'd dragged the wood cut Santa and Rudolph up onto the roof. There had even been threats of throwing each other off the roof when they'd struggled with getting Santa Claus to remain upright.
It had all worked out in the end. Task completed, the two frozen women had climbed into the hot tub and started drinking. Once warmed up, the two women, much to Callie's amusement, continued to drink, toasting each other multiple times to a job well done. 'Schnockered on Schnapps' was what Teddy had slurred before she'd staggered upstairs to the guest room. Arizona grinned with the memory of what she and Callie had done after Teddy had gone to bed. Yeah, that was a good night, she thought.
Putting the lights up had been difficult, but well worth it when she'd seen Sofia's eyes light up and heard her daughter's joy when the lights had been turned on. Maybe I'm not such a bad mother after all, Arizona thought as the garage door closed. Those thoughts quickly vanished as soon as she opened the door from the garage into the kitchen and cringed upon hearing Sofia practicing. She fought the urge to retreat back into the cold garage. Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to continue into the warmth of the house.
"You're home," Callie greeted her wife, unable to hide the surprise in her voice.
"As requested," Arizona replied, giving Callie a peck on the cheek.
Callie couldn't help but notice how Arizona was clenching her teeth, her body tense. Confusion and worry once again filled the Latina's mind.
"Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes."
"Great, thanks," the blonde said as she hung up her coat.
"Sofia!" Callie called out. "Mama's home."
The awful noise that was her daughter's singing stopped and was replaced by her laughter and the sound of her footsteps running through the house. Arizona sighed in relief. She silently prayed that the singing was done for the night.
"Mama!" Sofia said as she crashed into Arizona. "You're home!" She wrapped her arms around her Mama's legs. "Are you home for the night?"
"I am," Arizona answered, cringing on the inside. Even Sofia had picked up on her frequent absences.
"Yay!"
"Fifteen minutes?" Arizona asked Callie. Receiving a nod, Arizona took Sofia's hand. "C'mon, Sofia. Let's get cleaned up for dinner."
After a quiet dinner together (except for Sofia's excited ramblings about school), Arizona was full of regrets for having missed so many moments of family time over the past few weeks. The feeling was short-lived. The blonde, with some help from Sofia, cleaned up the kitchen. Unfortunately, Sofia had decided to practice her singing the whole time, setting Arizona's teeth on edge and filling her with the desire to flee her home once again.
It wasn't until Sofia had gone to bed and Arizona was pouring her second glass of whiskey for the evening that Callie decided to confront her wife. Arizona rarely had anything but a glass of wine after dinner. Whiskey, and more than one, was a tell-tale sign that something was wrong.
"Rough day?" she asked as they sat down in the formal living room. Callie had left the lights off, preferring the ambience of the Christmas tree's twinkling lights.
"Not really," Arizona said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"So I can assume it's your evening at home that's so rough," she said pointedly.
"What do you mean?"
"Is being home so bad that you have to have two stiff drinks?"
Callie hadn't wanted to sound so accusatory, but she'd reached the end of her tolerance with Arizona's frequent disappearances.
"What? No!"
"Then you need to tell me what's going on, Arizona," Callie said, her voice more calm.
Arizona looked down at the drink in her hands. "I'm a terrible wife and mother," she confessed after a few minutes.
"No, you're not," Callie quickly said.
"Please, Callie, let me finish," she said, her voice on the verge of pleading. "I am." She took a long swallow from the heavy glass tumbler in her hand. "I love my daughter. I do," she said, her voice heavy with her conviction. "But what kind of mother… I mean, every mother thinks their child is wonderful and perfect at everything they do," she rambled. "But I can't…" A pained look crossed her face. "She's awful, Callie… her singing is really bad. I don't know how you can stand it, but you do. And I know I should encourage her, and take pride in everything she does, but I can't listen to it anymore and… and…" Arizona stopped herself. "Oh, God, I'm such a bad mother," she groaned, her face covered with her hand.
Callie almost laughed at Arizona's anguish.
"Is that all?" Callie asked with a smile.
"What?" The blonde lifted her head. "You're not mad?" she asked in disbelief.
"Of course not, Arizona. If you were a bad mother, you wouldn't be upset. You'd be telling her to shut up." Callie pulled her wife over into a hug.
"I'd never do that."
"I know."
"But…" Arizona's voice trailed off. "I want to," she whispered guiltily. "I just want it to stop. Just for a little while."
"I know. Try listening to it for hours on end," Callie giggled. "It has been a bit much."
"What are we going to do? I don't want to stop her. She seems so happy to be part of the choir."
"I have an idea. What if I tell her she needs to stop, or do it quietly to save her voice for Christmas Eve?" she suggested.
"Think it'd work?"
"It'll work," Callie said confidently.
"Could you work on the lyrics with her?" Arizona requested. "I just don't think I can take one more night of my dreams turning into nightmares of bald angels swooping down at me."
"Consider it done," Callie said as the two women laughed together.