Disclaimer: I do not own D Gray-Man.

AN: Hello! This would be my second DGM story, it was just something I really had to write, because I find Alma and Kanda's story so sad. I really want the pissy Kanda to seem happy at least once. So this will be a sort of fem!AlmaXKanda, but mostly KandaXOC. Kanda might seem a little OOC in the dreams, but it's just the way I imagine him acting around Alma, that's the vibe I get from the manga anyway. Also, I was super suprised to find out he likes gardening, but...it fits, so I'm happy.

This story will probably be a two chapter story, it's quite short but I hope you like it. Warning: swearing.

Otomo No Yakamochi

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.

It was so bright. He couldn't open his eyes, could only squint against the harsh glare. In the distance, he could see someone, someone smiling. She had a ponytail and she spun, long coat spinning with her as she waved. He raised his own hand hesitantly, and the glare lessened a little. He knows this dream. He's had it so many times that he knows exactly what's coming next.

She sits near the edge of a pond, legs tucked to the side and she beckons, still smiling widely.

"Come on! Stop being so serious!" She laughs, patting their patch of grass beside her. He sighs, he know he's not going to win. Not against her.

"It's not a good idea to relax here."He reminded sternly, but he felt his face soften as she pouted, holding her hand out.

"Just for a little while. It's so beautiful." She took hold of his hand and he couldn't stop a smile making its way across his face as he let her tug him beside her. She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her shoulders, looking up out onto the water. The breeze was gentle and the peaceful sound of rustling leaves and birds singing added to the tranquillity of the scene. To tell the truth, he didn't really particularly care about the lotus flowers she was so fond of. But she loved them, so he did too.

She said…..they were dear to her because they symbolized the fate of exorcists.

"Not as beautiful as you," He said with a smile. It was a smile only she knew how to bring out of him. Otherwise, he wouldn't be caught dead with such a bright expression. She flushed, a happy smile forming on her lips.

He was never like this around anyone else, in fact, some would say he was downright unpleasant. He didn't deny it. He felt like he could only breathe easy around her. She turned and hugged him tightly, like it was the last time they would ever. He tightened his arms around her, he didn't want to let go.

"We saw the lotus flowers together, Yu."

He could practically hear the smile on her face.

"Yeah, didn't I promise?"He tilted his head against hers.

"You did. But I just wanted to be with you. As long as we're together, everything will be alright. I love you."

"I love you too, Alma."

Kanda shot awake, covered in a cold sweat. The sun was peeking over the horizon, the first rays of light shining through the window. Why did that dream have such a feeling of finality, yet leave him feeling so goddamn….alone? He hated it. That...want, that need to be with her, it dug up emotions he didn't want to feel. He didn't want to feel longing, he didn't want to feel anything, unless it was anger or satisfaction from slicing something.

He shook his head, getting dressed for the day and heading out into the forest to train for a while. It always helped clear his head. Stepping out into the cool morning air, he took a deep breath, calming down a little.

Suddenly, humming interrupted his thoughts and his hand flew to the handle of Mugen. Moving quietly and cautiously through the trees, he spotted someone squatting in front of a small patch of dirt, watering small buds with a silver watering can. A haze of water droplets hung in the air, casting a small rainbow in the morning sun.

He blinked a couple of times. For a moment he saw her in front of the plants. He almost called out to her. It must've been the remnants of the dream. The person who was actually squatting there was a girl with light brown hair tied into a loose ponytail that rested and hung down her left shoulder. She had on a simple black summer dress and a green gardening apron on top. She wore black flats and was balancing on the tips of her toes, beside her were a pair of sharp shears that glinted.

The glare of the rising sun was behind her, and he had to raise his hand to avoid the harsh light. It was so bright.

He vaguely knew her, he had seen her when Lenalee was taking her around the Order. She was some rookie that recently got recruited or she got sent here after she synced with the innocence, either way, he hadn't taken much notice. She was probably going to die soon anyway.

He suddenly grit his teeth together, that thought, one he had about many people, suddenly made his stomach clench in anxiety and….fear? He grit his teeth together, no fucking way was he feeling afraid. He was probably just hungry, he had avoided going into the dining room last night because he didn't feel like watching the bean sprout demolish his food like some sort of cursed human garbage disposal.

He made a rustle as he stepped back into the brushes, and she glanced up.

Oh, shit. People always seemed to want to make conversation in these kinds of situations.

But she just gave a tiny smile nodded in greeting. The nod he gave back was almost just a knee jerk reaction and he turned back to the forest. He had spotted that patch of dirt she was working on, he had been planning to drop by and try growing something, but there was no way in hell he would be going back now.

I brushed a strand of stray hair back from my face, standing up and wiping sweat from my forehead. I had finished watering and fixing up a small wooden gate around the miniature garden I had set up. The sun had only just risen, but the bright rays were extremely hot.

I didn't usually get this warm that easily, but I got a little nervous when I saw the tall Japanese man from the Order. He had long black hair tied up into a high pony tail and he wasn't dressed like he was when I last saw him, rather than his Order uniform he was wearing, well, he just had bandages around his chest and loose black pants. He had dark eyes that were piercing, even though our eyes only met for a second, it was like he electrified me with that look. 'Staring daggers' was an understatement.

I leaned back to peer into the trees and if I concentrated hard, I could hear the sound of a sword slicing through the air in the distance. Well, it wasn't like I had anything to do. I slipped the apron over my head and put away the watering can, picking up my shears. I was surprised there was such a large area of trees on the plateau with the castle, but I was a little glad.

Before I came here, I was a normal girl, helping out at my family's florist. Of course, I hated it and would complain all day about having to work with flowers with thorns, insects, fertiliser and all that, just like a normal person. But now I was here, I found working with the things I was familiar with comforting and calming.

I used to be a normal girl, I laughed with my sister, fought with my siblings(usually my brother)….really, the only thing odd about me was that I used to get into brawls and arguments. The rowdier boys where I used to live would mess around at the shop, and that's when I tended to get angry and start a few fights. I didn't look like the type to fight at all, if anything, I usually gave people the impression that I was very quiet, calm and gentle.

I never dreamed that I would become compatible with….innocence and get recruited just like that. Oddly enough, my parents were delighted. I would get a fresh start, a place where I could make friends rather than pick fights, find a 'good boy' and take him back to meet the family. They figured, well, it's a place where there are strong people, right? Someone ought to be able to knock the violent out of me. They told me to be nice, not to lose my temper and try to be polite at all times. I would've done that without the huge lecture, but I was trying to be a little more docile.

I knocked branches and leaves out of the way as I stepped through the bush and greenery, walking closer to the sounds of swishing. I exhaled a little loudly and the swishing stopped abruptly. I didn't even have time to blink before I heard a low voice from behind me.

"What do you want?" It was grating and full of annoyance. I turned my head slowly, raising my arms in a surrendering motion but still holding onto my shears. It was him, the man from before. He had one arm raised, the one holding onto his sword, which was now pointed at my throat.

"I was just going to take a look at what you were doing. I didn't mean to interrupt." I smiled apologetically, stepping back from the dangerous looking swordsman.

"Che. It's too late now." He grumbled, but didn't lower his hand.

"I'm really sorry…." I backed away further until I felt my foot slip right into a ditch and it twisted. I tripped and fell backwards, bracing myself against the ground with my hands.

"Ouch!" The shears dropped beside me and I cradled my foot, glancing down at it.

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see the look the long haired swordsman was giving me, a look of incredulity and 'how stupid can you get?'

Swallowing my pride, I looked up to him.

"Um….sorry to bother you again, but do you mind helping me up?"I asked. He lowered his arm, sheathing the gleaming sword and crossing his arms. He actually looked like he was contemplating whether to help me or not. I pushed down the outrage and took a deep breath.

"Alright…. I'll just get up myself." I picked up my shears again, stabbing it into the ground and using it to propel me up shakily. I kept the weight off my ankle but still stumbled a little. I would have fallen again if arms hadn't come and held me steady.

"You look pathetic. It's disgraceful." With ease, he hoisted me up and over his shoulder, holding me like a sack of potatoes. He started walking back into the building, steadily making his way up the stairs.

"H-hold on, what are you doing?" I protested, trying to squirm out of his grip.

"I'm helping you, what else, idiot?" He said impatiently, like he was talking to a child.

"Do…do you have to help me in this particular way?" I strained my neck to try talk to his face. This was not the most glorified way of being carried. In fact, it was downright embarrassing to be handled like this.

"How else do you want to get up the stairs with that ankle? Looks sprained." His surprisingly silky ponytail hit me in the face as I felt his head turn to look at my ankle. I only just realised it was throbbing uncomfortably and it hurt enough that I started to grind my teeth together.

"Well, I'll even take piggy back, just not this!" I said imploringly.

"Beggars can't be choosers."

...Alright then.

"You have a nice ponytail, sir. Must've taken a while to grow out. I just happen to have a pair of sharp shears. It would be an awful shame if I accidentally cut this pretty hair of yours off!" I threatened cheerfully, hoping he could hear the smile in my voice. My heart stopped for a second as I felt my stomach drop, and I actually thought he had decided to drop me on the stairs.

Instead, I was looking up, but not from the floor. He was holding me in front of him, in his arms. He looked straight ahead, his steady ascension of the stairs never slowing. I held the shears in my lap, he carried me like I was as light as a doll and I coughed.

"Thank you, I was happy with being piggy backed as well." I looked away.

"Where you're even closer to my hair? No freaking way, scissors." He glanced down, those eyes again….daggers right through my entire body.

So he wasn't being polite…

"Scissors?" I raised an eyebrow. He didn't reply, and I stared incredulously at him. He was calling me scissors because of my shears….?

"Sorry for the late introduction, but my name is actually Bryony Mason. Not…scissors." I frowned.

"Shut up, scissors."He smirked.

Oh, now that was a clear taunt!

"And what might your name be, kind gentleman?" I bit out, a fake smile plastered on my face.

Don't lose your temper. He's just teasing.

We finally reached the floor where the infirmary is and he stalked through the halls quickly.

"You won't live long enough to need to know."

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat at his blatant disregard and insult. I thought we had reached some level of amicability, but I was clearly wrong. He was really just a jerk.

I sat up and angrily stared him in the eye.

"You're blocking my vision." He said flatly, staring straight back. I punched him as hard as I could and managed to catch him off guard enough to make him drop me. I fell to the floor, but I didn't really care, I didn't want to be helped by a guy that thought I wasn't going to live long enough to know his name. Was knowing his name some sort of privilege that only the survivors had?

Ouch, my hand….

"Oh. My. God. Did I really just see that? Allen, please tell me you saw that too."

I was almost too angry to care who was talking, but I heard footsteps come padding over.

"Stupid Kanda, why'd you drop her?" The white haired boy I had met briefly earlier knelt by my side, glaring at the tall, uncaring 'Kanda'. I guess he had been around long enough to know his name.

"She punched me. Anyway, you two idiots are here now. She screwed up her ankle." With that, he swivelled deftly and strode away. I stuck my tongue out at him from behind, hoping he would fall down the stairs.

"Are you alright?" Allen, I'm guessing, asked kindly. I tried not to stare in curiosity at the line beginning with a star down the left side of his face, down his eye.

"Without him, I'm more than fine, I'm ecstatic."I used my good foot to lean to one side, pushing myself up with my hands.

"Whoa there, be careful." The red head held out his hands, I had forgotten most people's names. I just remembered his face, the eye patch and the green bandana.

"Um, Br…Bree…"Allen's face twisted into one of thought, trying to remember my name.

"Bryony, bean sprout. C'mon, she's from England too!" The red head teased.

"It's Allen. Anyway, Bryony, do you need help getting to the infirmary?" He offered his arm. I touched the ground lightly with my injured foot and tried to put weight on it. I immediately winced at the sharp pain and grabbed onto his arm to regain my balance.

"Yes please. Also, just call me Bree. I don't like my name." I limped along, heavily depending on Allen. He looked ridiculously young, maybe fifteen or sixteen. I felt a little pitiable, being older by about a year.

"Are you gonna need these?" The red head dangled my shears on the ends of his fingers.

"Oh, yes!" I held my hand out and he flipped it so he was holding the blade end and the handle was facing me.

"Thank you, uh…." I looked at him apologetically.

"Lavi, at your service!" He said brightly.

"Thank you, Lavi." I smiled at him. Back home, I was good at making friends, in a way it was essential for business, but because of my unsavoury reputation, other kids were usually banned from talking to me. He blinked in surprise, and then grinned back.

"It's fine. You've got one heck of a smile, you know that? A definite strike smile. Actually….strike in general!" He looked like he just realised something, nodding in self affirmation.

"Please ignore him, he's just a perverted, immature kid. But why do you have those…?" Allen looked at my shears.

"Um…don't people here usually carry around their innocence…?" I tilted my head. Allen looked a little surprised for a minute.

"You…chose that as your weapon?"

"That's pretty funky, Bree!" Lavi exclaimed.

"It's the only thing I know how to use that does a relative amount of damage…" I knew how pathetic that sounded. It really was the only thing I knew how to use that could be close to being called a weapon. Allen opened a door and led me into a room filled with beds that weren't all empty. A tall woman with her hair in a bun looked up from one of the beds.

"Yo, head nurse! Bree here hurt her ankle by…." Lavi trailed off and glanced at me. "How did you hurt your ankle? Did Yu do it?"

I tilted my head in confusion.

"You? As in me?" I pointed at myself.

"Oh, no, Yu is Kanda's first name, didn't you know?" Lavi said.

Of course it is. Yu Kanda…..I fumed.

"I didn't." I gave a tight lipped smile. Allen glanced at me worriedly, shooting a glance at Lavi.

"Stop hanging around in the doorway, hurry and take a seat." The head nurse took my arm gently and led me to a bed.

"So how did you injure yourself?" She asked, examining my ankle. I smiled sheepishly, blushing a little at the ditzy reason.

"I slipped in a small hole outside." I scratched my cheek. Lavi raised an eyebrow and Allen just sighed in relief. Did he really think the swordsman was pissed off enough to hurt me?

"I see. Well, it's not too bad, with some ice and a small splint, you should be up and about by tonight. One of you should stay with her to make sure she doesn't fall, I'm going to go get the ice now." She hurried off after setting my foot down.

"You guys can just go, I'll be quite alright by myself." I smiled reassuringly.

"No, one of us should stay. They were head nurse's orders, it would be bad if…." Lavi shivered and Allen twitched as well.

"Do ya mind, Allen? Gramps has got me memorising a stack of books." He gestured to the library.

"Go ahead, I don't have much to do right now anyway."

"Thanks bean sprout!"

"It's Allen!" Allen called out exasperatedly to the quickly departing red head.

"Sorry Allen, I didn't mean to take away your day." I frowned.

"No, it's fine! I'm not busy at all."He waved his hands. The head nurse came back and fixed up my ankle quickly before hurrying to tend other injured patients. There was an awkward silence after she left and I tried to think up a topic.

"So, Allen-"I started but was interrupted by a long whining growl emitting from Allen's stomach.

"Sorry, I haven't eaten yet…" He smiled sheepishly.

"Ah! Then we should go eat!" I immediately said, testing my ankle on the floor. "That should be fine, I can hobble to the dining room with you."

"Really…?" Allen asked sceptically but another grumble erupted from his stomach.

"Really."

As we made our way to the hall, Mr. Yu Kanda was just walking out. I considered calling out his name, but stopped. I would prove to him I could make him tell me his name. His eyes flicked over us quickly, and it might've been my imagination, but it lingered on the hand Allen had on my elbow.

The look passed and he strode past without a second glance. He was always wearing a scowl or a serious expression, but there was something underneath it that seemed familiar to me. The look that was always underlying on his face, the cold and grave eyes, the set jaw.

I knew that expression, working in a florist exposed me to smitten expressions, suave ones, you could almost always tell what flowers someone was after just by their age, gender and expression.

So what does that expression mean?

Allen mistook my silence and tried to perk me up.

"Don't worry about stupid Kanda, he's like that to everyone."

"Really….he's just that…unpleasant?" I grimaced.

"Uh huh. Rude, too. Impertinent. Impatient, angry, annoying, broody, selfish…" Allen listed and I stifled a laugh with my hand. He glanced over in surprise and I coughed apologetically into my hand.

"Sorry, it was just…amusing to hear. This place seems to peaceful and calm all the time….even though I hated my loud brother, I missed it a little. It's a relief to see there's some bickering," I said.

"Peaceful…you could say that…" Allen laughed uneasily.

Kanda fidgeted in the meditation room, his mind wouldn't settle down. He gritted his teeth, he had been here for ages trying to calm down, but pictures and thoughts kept popping into his head.

"Yu…..I love you."

"Shit!" He swore, eyes flying open. Her voice, it pierced right through him and spread like an arrow dipped in poison. Hell, he should know, how many times has he been infected by the akuma virus? But this was different. It was a different infection, one that made his heart speed and stomach twist. He got up angrily and stormed out of the room, glad that the hallway was empty.

He would've been tempted to just beat up the first person he met. He slammed the door to his room shut with a bang, slumping over as he sat on the edge of the bed. He sighed, clenching his hands together so hard he started to bleed. Of course, it healed almost immediately.

Why was his….damn, he didn't even like to think about it, need for her so bad today?

He would never admit that he still thought about her, even though the body that had been with her was long dead, as was she. It was pitiful that he had an empty space in his chest.

"And what might your name be, kind gentleman?" Suddenly, the stupid face of the girl he had seen earlier today popped into his head. She was clearly holding in a lot of annoyance, but she forced a twitchy smile on.

Bryony Mason.

Damn. Why did he have to remember her name so well?

Every day for the next couple of weeks, she was there without fail, at the small garden near where he trained, either watering or weeding or doing something to tend to the flowers she was growing there.

There was an array of types but only one main flower, and sometimes he could hear her humming. She would be forcefully polite, and he would usually ignore her. Seeing her made him feel uncomfortable, like there was something gnawing in his stomach, so it was better just to ignore her.

Easier said than done. Every morning, he started to look for her first, listening for her humming, anything to indicate she was there. He told himself it was to make sure he knew who was around him while he was training. Sometimes she would talk to him after he was done, always trying to learn his name and making conversation.

He rarely replied or held up his end of the conversation, but he noticed that he didn't feel like ripping out her throat when she talked, unlike some people. He noticed she became more relaxed as well, sometimes even laughing.

He wanted to hate her. He hated the fact that he didn't hate her.

But he couldn't help but listen. She hated the name Bryony because the white Bryony was a weed-with red poisonous berries-, but it was a tradition in her family. He now knew several species of insects that liked flowers.

Worst of all, he didn't find it boring.

Time passed, and the flowers grew.

AN: So that's the first chapter! I hope I kept them in character, I tried my best :D Thanks for reading, and please leave a review to tell me what you think.