I've been meaning to upload this from the kink meme for ages, but I kept forgetting or other stuff came up -_- But, better late than never, I guess.

Couple of notes: First off, while I wouldn't say my French is completely terrible, it's the kind that was learnt in a classroom and not by conversation. So if it doesn't sound very natural, please tell me! My Russian is terrible, though, to the point where I was thinking of replacing it with Croatian and hoping nobody notices because I couldn't figure out which word goes where. Sorry if the translator messed up!

Also, all translations are placed within the story, since there's so much of it.

"So yeah, I couldn't think of a name for this robot, so how about everyone thinks up a name overnight and tomorrow we can..."

"A giant robot will do anything but help the economic crisis, you stupid Yankee!"

As America laughed and moved on, France bit back a yawn. These meetings were bad enough when they were in his own country, but at least he had the saving grace of knowing what was going on! He nudged England, who was sitting beside him, also desperately fighting the need to sleep.

"Angleterre?"

England was off in his own little world, so France poked him again. And again. Soon after he lost count, England turned to look at him, boredom and irritation etched onto his face, "Quoi?" (What?)

"Qu'at-il dit?" (What did he say?)

England looked back at America, trying to see what his notes were before he packed them away, while Canada prepared his presentation. France smirked; apparently England hadn't been listening either. Maybe he wasn't one to talk, but at least he had an excuse!

England turned back to him and whispered, "Même merde que le mois dernier." (Same shit as last month.)

Last month? France had been spacing out during that meeting as well, at least while America was talking. By the time he started paying attention again; England and America were already at each other's throats. He shrugged his shoulders; "Je ne me souviens pas de la dernière réunion." (I don't remember the last meeting.)

England rolled his eyes at the Frenchman and turned back around. "Donc, apprendre l'anglais, frog-face." (Then learn English.)

In other words, I don't feel like translating for you. France sighed; America was only the second person to come up today as well! Even if he wouldn't say anything, it would be nice to at least know what was going on. He leaned back on his chair, annoyed at the Brit's lack of help.

Or, it might be the fact that yes, he should learn English, and had been putting it off for centuries that annoyed him more. It wasn't that he couldn't learn other languages, it was just... bad blood? He couldn't will himself to do it? He wasn't really sure why.

Whatever the reason was, English was the only official language of the UN that France hadn't learnt. If they were somewhere like Moscow or Madrid, it wouldn't matter, since they would speak that country's main language. But somewhere like London or New York, which was where they were now... well, he had to make sure to bring extra paper so England could write notes for him.

"Thank you America; I mean Canada," said Germany, gaining France's attention. Considering what he heard and Canada's expression, it seemed he had been mistaken for his loud-mouthed brother. Again.

"We'll now have an hour lunch break. Don't be late!"

Wait, he's heard of lunch before! Lunch... lunch... Ah! Déjeuner! "Angleterre, dépêche-toi!" (England, hurry up!) He started pulling the Englishman's sleeve, who was packing away his files.

"Une minute!" (One minute!) England replied crossly. France scowled and looked around impatiently, and noticed Canada looking at him exasperatedly. He wasn't too surprised; he was constantly promising Canada that he would learn English, but hadn't delivered so far.

He supposed that he was lucky that neither England nor Canada had mentioned his lack of English to anyone. They threatened to, especially England when France started testing his flirting skills, but he knew they wouldn't actually tell. After all, since all UN members were expected to know the main languages, England or Canada would have to spend half an hour every day with him until he could speak fluently.

In other words, they would have to try and get France to co-operate. A task both of them would prefer to avoid.

England put the last of his notes in, and was about to walk out the conference room with France, when a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Yo, Iggy! How ya doin'?"

France smirked at the low growl from England when America's voice rang out from the buzz of conversation. The Brit had been in a particularly bad mood since he arrived, so this promised to be interesting.

England in general had a low tolerance for America's antics, but he wouldn't be surprised if he found himself trying to break the man's nose today. His flight to New York had several delays due to his infamous weather patterns, and any attempts at dozing for a bit were interrupted by a certain Frenchman asking, "Pouve-toi traduire pour moi?" (Can you translate for me?) or, "Qu'est-ce que cela signifie?" (What does that mean?)

Seriously, why couldn't France just learn English?! England could understand why a few centuries back, when they were sworn enemies (if it wasn't for the Norman Conquest, he may not have learnt French either), but now that it was used so internationally, it was just causing both of them trouble.

But no, France wasn't the problem here. The problem was the obnoxious Septic Tank, who was resting half his weight on England's shoulders. He wriggled out of America's hold and muttered, "What do you want?"

"As grumpy as ever, huh, England?" laughed America. England turned away from him, hoping America would find someone else who would pay attention to him.

America continued with, "Can you do me a favour? I'm meant to talk to Russia and 'strengthen relations,'" America used finger quotes to show how he felt about the ordeal, "but he's being a douche and only talking in Russian."

"I thought you would have learnt it by now," England replied. What was he, the local translator here? He remembered during the Cold War how he and China always had to translate for the two superpowers, due to their utter refusal to learn each other's language.

However, once the Soviet fell, they both agreed to learn each other's languages as, in America's words, "A heroic symbol to represent our truce!"

Apparently America had yet to actually keep his end of the deal.

"It's not like I know nothing!" America crossed his arms defensively, "It's him; he never slows down for me, even when I ask him to in Russian!"

"I do slow down for him. If he wants to speak to me in Russian, he should learn the language better, da?" Russia spoke up from behind England, making the Brit yelp in surprise.

"I have been learning! It's just... there're loads of really annoying gender agreements and... and those stupid declension things-"

"Bloody hell, America, it's been twenty years! Can't you look away from your video games for just a few months?" England scolded him.

"I learnt your language so you can learn mine," said Russia, smiling a bit too sweetly for England's taste, "Англия, Может я его ударил?" (England, may I hit him?)

"Нет!" (No!) England replied hastily. He really did not need these two to be fighting today!

"Hm? England, what did he ask?" America demanded, trying to piece together that whatever Russia asked was about him.

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing, don't worry about-"

"I wanted to know if I can hit you, because you are annoying," Russia answered, "But I suppose it can wait."

"Oh you wanna hit me, do ya, you com- you ex-commie bastard?!" America challenged, trying to move England out of the way, as he was standing between the two powers, "Bring it!"

The UN languages are as follows: English, Arabic, French, Chinese (Doesn't state which one though), Russian and Spanish. The UN rules mean that France could ask questions or give presentations in French while in the USA if he wanted to, but then the inevitable question of why the hell isn't he using English will come up.

'Septic Tank' is Cockney rhyming slang for American (Septic Tank = Yank = American). Not the nicest description ever, but that's just how Brit's roll, I guess.

And yes, declensions. I'm fine with gender and all, but those declensions are such bitches you have no idea. Slavic languages in particular can have up to six or seven.