Cumming of Age
One day, Davis Dicks woke up. He liked his bed. It was soft. The bed, that is. The bed had pillows and a soft mattress and some...remains from the wet dream he had that past night. That past night being as in Thursday night, as it was currently Friday. Friday being the last day before an unforgettable weekend, that is.
Davis Dicks' name was quite fitting. As you might assume, he was jeered and taunted at as a young lad for having such a phallic surname. Unfortunately, he had a very checkered family history. His great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather was said to be a lover of penises.
He had his own castle made entirely from the castrated penises of his enemies. If someone even looked at Davis's gramps in the wrong way and they possessed male organs, they weren't going to share their sperm anymore.
This somehow was a genetic trait - the obsession with penises, that is - that got passed down to Davis. Davis loved nothing more than a large, meaty cock. The thought of slicing into a penis and also touching the penis-haver's ten toes just got his blood rushing.
Davis got out of bed completely naked and ran to his local strip club, where he decided that he was going to get a job. His Facebook status said he was "Not yet employed" despite being 35, but he was yearning to change that before his account got hacked.
"Thanks a lot, Mark Zuckerberg," Davis grumbled as he sauntered down the sidewalk.
"Every day when you're walking down the street,
every smooth front that you see,
has an original orgasm.
And I say hey!
What a wonderful kind of day,
Where I can learn to get a job,
At the local strip club downtown."
"Excuse me?!" Jane Read questioned Davis, walking with D.W. on the opposite sidewalk. "What did you just say?"
"Ma'am, I'm singing a lovely tune."
"You're disgusting. Stay away from my kids, and don't ever walk around town naked again."
Davis' eyes welled with tears, as he realized this was another person discouraging him from his dream. He used to write Mary Moo Cow fanfiction about Mary's vagina and how she underwent female circumcision, but people online were so mean to him.
"Three things...
1. This is GARBAGE! How do you have the time to think of something like this!
2. How does your warped mind think like this!
3. Do you a 35 year old male( I will never call you a Man) still live in your dads basement?"
Davis thought of all of the mean reviews he got on his stories, but those bullies would be sorry once he became the sexiest stripper in all of Elwood City.
He opened the door to Grabiz Dick XXX, where he intended to apply for his job.
"I'm a stripper. That is, someone who is naked and shows their penis. A penis if they are a male, but a vagina if they are a female."
Tittybang, the desk clerk, clicked her high heels near Davis, her F cup boobs bouncing as she walked over to him.
"Sugar, to be a stripper, you need to be sexy. Run along now and go back to your basement."
Davis responded, "But God told me I was meant to be a stripper."
Tittybang rolled her eyes. She whistled, summoning one of the male strippers. This man happened to be none other than Nigel Ratburn.
"Is it important?" Mr. Ratburn asked. "I called in a sub today so that I could get some more money and maybe have some anal in one of the glory holes tonight."
"Nigel, show this hillbilly how a real stripper does things."
The song I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred started playing in the background as Nigel slowly removed each article of clothing, gyrating to the beat of the music.
"I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY CAT, TOO SEXY FOR MY CAT!" Nigel screamed along to the lyrics, shaking his pelvis and wagging his penis, pissing on Davis once the song ended.
"What was that for?!" Davis screamed.
"You've gotta be kinky to be a stripper," Mr. Ratburn coolly responded, with a wink, before leaving the room.
"Kinky..." Davis noted. Then, he had a "Eureka!" moment.
"JUST LET ME DO THE SHOW TONIGHT, IT WILL BE GREAT!" Davis screamed.
That night, the strip club erupted with applause after Nigel Ratburn performed 'Hollaback Girl' naked as the day he was born. Then (although Tittybang was quite skeptical to let this happen), Davis walked out on the stage.
"GO BACK TO SEX OFFENDERS ANONYMOUS!" screamed a man from the audience.
Various people in the audience made jabs at Davis' balding and paunchy appearance. But Davis was going to surprise them. Since Davis was naked - without a stitch of clothing, that is - he wielded a knife from his ass and began his magic.
To the tune of 'Superfreak', he began to rub his cock. The audience was quite confused, especially when they noticed the knife coming near his foreskin.
"I'll take just the tip!" a rabbi from the audience blurted out.
Then, Davis slowly peeled off his foreskin, throwing it into the audience. The horny strip club goers fought over the foreskin like a pack of wild dogs, until Binky Barnes was the lone victor in receiving the foreskin.
"Hoo, wee, this is gonna be something nice to show the kids at school. Maybe I can tell them it's Ratburn's foreskin!"
"DON'T YOU DARE, MR. BARNES. I'M HOLDING YOU BACK ANOTHER YEAR IF YOU TELL ANYONE ABOUT GRABIZ DICK XXX! THIS IS MY LIFE OUTSIDE OF THAT PATHETIC SCHOOL!"
"SHUT UP, NIGEL!" another guy from the audience yelled. "I wanna see Davis' performance."
Davis proceeded to remove all of his male organs, including his balls, sack, scrotum, prostate and of course - the penis. Binky opened his mouth as Davis flung his genitals into the audience, but Binky choked on his dick and died.
After Davis' castration stunt, he became the first nullo porn star, since there was a talent agent jerking off in the audience. He did lots of castration porn, and he got his Mary Moo Cow fanfiction published. He became a bestselling author with the pen name "Davis 2018", and he gave J.K. Rowling and Stephen King a run for his money.
Unfortunately, Davis died at the age of 37 from some really kinky anal sex. His boyfriend castrated his penis so that he would repent for the death of such an eclectic man.
The end.