Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.
A Christmas without you.
This is a story requested by Invader Johnny.
"Where's Jade." A frustrated Tori cursed, as she walked from the brightly decorated, but small living room into their just as small kitchen.
It was just after noon on Christmas Eve and Tori was out of Christmas cheer. In fact by now, it hardly felt like Christmas at all. Tori, none the less, went through the motions.
Her and Jade got their first apartment some 3 months ago, when they to college. It was a small one bedroom apartment, in a not so great neighborhood. Of course they would have liked nicer or bigger, but they could not afford it.
But after a quick "honeymoon", things started to get a bit rough. Besides both going to college, they both had part time jobs to pay the rent and bills. Money was tight, space was tight and time with each other was limited, causing tensions to rise. They were starting to have fights over little and big things. The most recent two were Jade's getting pissed off about Tori never picking up after herself and Tori getting increasingly frustrated by Jade's tendency to keep things to herself. They seemed to spend more time getting on each other's nerves than anything else.
By early December, Tori was getting progressively more frustrated with Jade. Tori did her best to lighten things up by brightly decorating the apartment in all kinds of Christmas lights and decorations, plus playing Christmas music. She even got Jade what she thought a great Christmas gift, a copy of the script of, The Scissoring, autographed by the film's stars.
Jade in turn, took on a very scrooge like attitude, even taking to wearing a "Ba Humbug" button on her leather Jacket. She didn't help decorate the apartment, nor seemed to have any interest in Christmas at all. That was only the icing on the cake for Tori as Jade had been working extra hours, been acting distant and even a bit secretive.
There were other frustrations for Tori as well, her parents recent and rather bitter divorce being one of them. It was a complicated mess, with each accusing the other of infidelity and financial mismanagement. Now her parents were only communicating through lawyers, Tori or Trina. But mostly it was Tori as Trina was going to school in Miami. Tori hated being the go between, conveying one bitter message after another back and forth.
Her dream was to have a nice Christmas Eve dinner with friends and family. But so far all of her friends and family were either busy, far away or not willing to be in the same room as others. All of this had gradually worn down Tori's Christmas cheer and made her begin to worry if her and Jade were even going to stay together. The increasing fights and little time spent together, gave Tori ever increasing doubts about the future of their relationship.
So it was going to be her and Jade, once Jade got home from work, which was supposed to be 10 minutes ago. The pair had the next three days off and Tori hoped to have a nice Christmas dinner and a chance to reconnect.
Just then her phone rang, it was Jade.
"Where are you? You were supposed to be home 15 minutes ago so you can help me make dinner." Snapped Tori, her patience nearly gone.
"Tori, I'm going to be late, one of the other waitresses called in sick and I'm going to be working a while longer to cover. I hope to be home by dinner. Sorry."
Upon hearing that, Tori's frustration abruptly burst forth. "Gone again. Of course, what else should I expect? Even when you're here, you're not. You're not talking, you're being secretive. I was looking to spending the day cooking with you now that's gone. It's bad enough no one else wants to even so much as stop by. My parents are too busy fighting to even think of coming over for Christmas. Do you even care about me or our relationship? No don't answer that, I already know that. YOU DON'T! So Fuck you, fuck my parents, fuck dinner and fuck Christmas."
Tori, without letting Jade respond, hung up her phone and turned it off.
"Don't want to spend time with me." Tori ranted, as she shoved the turkey which she was about to start preparing, back into the fridge.
Storming out of the kitchen, she was greeted by the lights in the living room, the cheerfulness of it all seemed to mock her. That's why Tori ripped down the decorations, shoved them in the box and not wanting to be there anymore, grabbed her jacket and stormed out.
Tori noticed it was unseasonably cold that day, even for California. But she paid it little mind. She was angry, and sad and pretty sure her and Jade were finished. She knew that she was partially at fault. She had done things that had not helped matters. Being lazy and not doing her chores were one of them.
But now, she had dropped the bomb and hung up. Tori knew there was no going back. Tori just cried until she couldn't and then just walked, half in a daze. She tried to ignore the Christmas decorations and the cheerful happy people around her. For Tori, Christmas seemed to have lost all meaning.
After walking for what felt like hours, Tori finally stopped. She had wandered into a poorer Hispanic section of town, but scarcely cared. In any case she was Latina herself and wearing a grubby old jacket so she didn't really stand out. She had gotten a bit tired and the cold wind was getting to her. She found herself wanting to sit down, at least for a while. She had nowhere to go and she couldn't possibly face Jade.
As she turned a corner she spotted a local community center. She began to walk past it and looking through the windows, she could see a number of people in one of the big rooms. But in another room she saw what looked like a small lounge. Several of the chairs were unoccupied so she decided to simply sit down.
There were a few older men just sitting around, they looked to be in their 60's. All of them were absorbed in watching a rerun of Love Boat.
Tori found an old cracked imitation leather chair and sat down. The guys in the room seemed to briefly check her out, but other than that took little notice of her.
Tori just sat, half watching the TV and half listening to the sound of happy children playing in the other room.
Tori just blankly watched TV, not intending from moving from that spot ever again.
She was roused from her stupor a short while later but the sounds of two women talking in the corridor. For some reason Tori listened and could tell they were discussing the children's Christmas party that was about to begin. But it quickly became apparent that something was wrong.
"Alicia just called and said she can't make it." Said the first woman, who sounded distressed.
"That just leaves the two of us. Alica was also supposed to be the entertainment. I can run home and get some Christmas music."Responded the second woman.
The two women talking about needing help and combined with the sounds of the children, stirred something inside of Tori. The children sounded so happy. Despite her total lack of Christmas spirit, she found herself unable to ignore it.
Tori then, got up and walked into the corridor, where she found the two women she had overheard. They were both Hispanic women, who appeared to be in their 40's.
"Uh..Hi. I think I may be able to help you. I couldn't help but overhear from the other room."
The first woman looked at her as if she didn't quite know what to make of her. "How?"
"Well, I sing, I play piano and I speak fluent Spanish. I've got nothing going on and nowhere to go, I can help."
The second woman quickly breathed a sigh of relief. "That would be great. I'm Maria, this is my friend Sophia. We could use the help. I haven't seen you here before."
Tori shook her head. "No, I kind of just wandered in. Long story short, I sort of had a fight with my girlfriend, and said some nasty things that I can't take back. I've been walking and saw the community center and just sat down. My name is Tori, by the way."
"Well thank you Tori. We had a third girl who was to help and sing. But she couldn't make it. Please come this way."
Tori was led down the hall in the somewhat rundown community center into a large common room. Today it was decorated with Christmas decorations and a table with a punchbowl. There were several chairs and tables and along the wall were shelves filled with games and book. There was a piano in the corner and at the moment, Tori could see about a dozen children ranging from 4 years old to about 9 were sitting in front of the a TV watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special.
Maria turned to Tori. "We have the children watching TV, we'll be putting on Frosty the Snowman next. Then we're play some games, then the pizza's we ordered will arrive. After that Our Santa will come and listen to what the children want for Christmas. Then if you can, we'd like to have you play and sing for the group. We have a book with the sheet music for all the traditional Christmas songs."
Tori then helped Maria and Sophia help set up the punch, and cookies for the children then decided what games to play and got those ready. Getting into to the preparations for the party and seeing the happy children helped her put her own problems aside. She knew that most if not all these children came from poor families and this was a chance for them to have a bit of fun.
Once the TV show's were over, Tori was introduced to the children. She found that all spoke English but most of them preferred Spanish so she spoke in Spanish. She found the children all very fun and all were quite excited for Christmas. Soon Tori had forgotten her own troubles and for the first time all day managed to smile. After a while she even found herself missing Jade. But she had to push that out of her mind as it only made her sad.
The kids had their snacks and the games were played.
In talking with, Sophia and Maria just as the kids sat down to eat their pizza. Tori learned that Santa would be visiting but not have any gifts. They planned to have him ask each child what they want for xmas. Suddenly Tori had an idea. She could run down to the dollar store a few doors down and buy each child a inexpensive gift. So Santa could give each child one toy. She and Jade had about 60 bucks in checking and knew that about 30 would buy each child one small gift. It was supposed to be for groceries, but Tori no longer cared. Helping the children was her only thought at the moment.
She ran down and put 12 small toys on her bank card and covertly gave them to Maria who then in turn ran off to give them to the Santa who was getting ready.
Then after a while Santa came. She recognized Santa as one of the old guys who was watching TV earlier. Soon the children happily got in line and out of a red bag he pulled out a small toy for each of them. Tori just watched each child as they got their little toy and to some they acted as if it were the greatest thing in the world. While she had no answer to her problems or plight, Tori could at least forget them for a while. Seeing their bright smiling faces, Tori once again felt like it was Christmas. The only thing missing was family, but at the moment she didn't mind.
Soon after Santa left and it was her turn to entertain. The children all sat round the piano where Tori played and sang Christmas songs in both English and Spanish.
During her 6th song, Tori looked up and much to her surprise was Trina standing in the doorway. That was actually a huge surprise as Trina was supposed to be in Miami. After finishing the song she took a break, walked up and gave her sister a hug.
"You know Jade's gone bezerk, in trying to find you." Said Trina, sounding somewhat amused.
"Trina? What are you doing here?" Tori said.
"Well, Jade wanted to surprise you by getting me, mom and dad all over for Christmas. So she was working extra hours to help me pay for a plane ticket and trying to get mom and dad to put their differences aside for one night. She was having no luck in getting them together, despite extensive negotiations. Jade called you earlier from the airport. She was picking me up. But you told her to fuck off and hung up which did a nice job of reducing her to tears. When we got to your place, found dinner abandoned, the Christmas decorations torn down and you gone. At that point she pretty much went to pieces." Tori couldn't help but notice that Trina seemed to be enjoying Jade's distress.
Tori couldn't help but cringe. "I turned off my phone. I thought Jade hated me. How did you find me?"
"Dad took a chance and ran your bank card. It hit on the dollar store 3 doors down. I drove down here in Jade's car looking for you. She's a bit too upset right now to do so. This community center was the only thing open, so I walked in and found you. What are you doing here yourself?"
"Well I just walked and walked. I really wasn't going anywhere. I just knew I couldn't go home. I sat down cause I was tired and overheard these two ladies saying they needed help with a Christmas party. I'm singing and helping out."
"Well we've got to go, Jade will blow a gasket if I don't have you home soon."
Shaking her head. "I can't quite yet, I promised the kids one more song and I also promised Sophia and Maria I'd help clean up. The party is almost over."
Trina huffed. "Fine, but I can't take responsibility for Jade's actions. She is totally nuts, you know."
Tori and Trina rejoined the part and as promised Tori sang one more song which was "Have yourself a very merry little Christmas."
At this point the parents started to arrive and each of the children thanked Tori for coming and singing for them. Tori felt very satisfied, having helped them. Then Tori and Trina, who did so reluctantly, helped clean up.
"Thank you ever so much Tori. You've been a godsend. Said Maria as Tori and Trina were finishing the cleaning."
"You're welcome. Perhaps I'll come back and volunteer. This seems like a nice place. I enjoyed helping."
After that, Trina led her outside to Jade's car which was parked around the corner. Not wanting to think about what awaited her at home, Tori asked Trina about going to school in Maimi. Trina, being Trina had no problem talking about herself, how great she was going and how many male admirers she had. Tori even pretended to believe it was all true.
Upon arriving at the apartment building Tori looked up at the window which was now lit, with some trepidation.
Trina quickly put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm make sure she doesn't hurt you too badly."
Not sure what to expect, Tori entered the building and walked up the stairs to her apartment. She paused at the door and sighed before turning the key in the lock and opening the door.
Walking in, she immediately noticed the warm inviting smell a turkey dinner as it was just about to be served.
"Wha?" Said Tori before her mom came out of the kitchen.
"Tori, you're safe. Thank god." Said Holly Vega as she wrapped her arms around Tori.
Then she heard her father come from the living room. "I'm so glad you're safe."
Tori looked to her parents with surprise. "But both of you here. I thought Jade couldn't get you both here."
David Vega looked at Holly and then to Tori. "Well, with you missing and all, we decided to call a truce for today I put the decorations back up and helped your mom cook dinner. It's all we could do. Jade and Trina was looking for hours. I had a trace put on your bank card and Gary called me a short while ago."
"I found her at a community center. She was helping with a children's Christmas party" Trina added.
"Where's Jade." Asked a bewildered Tori.
"Here." Said a tense voice that sent a chill down her spine.
Tori took a step forward into the living room which had been redecorated with everything Tori had torn down.
"Jade." Tori said, her voice shaking.
"Victoria. May I have a word with you in our bedroom." A none too looking Jade said in a soft voice. Tori knew she was in trouble as the only time Jade ever called her by her full name is when she was very upset.
"She's just a bit upset, Jade was very worried. Everything will be fine." Remarked Holly as Tori marched to her bedroom.
"You're gonna get it." Added Trina.
Tori walked in before she could turn around, heard the door shut behind her.
Tori turned round and before she could do anything was slapped in the face by a furious looking Jade.
The blow stung and immediately Tori put her hand to her own cheek. Jade then opened her mouth and for a moment Tori expected the bitching out of her life.
Oddly Jade promptly burst into tears put her hands on either side of her face, so Tori's attention was focused on her.
"How could you do that to me!" Jade sobbed. "I've been worried sick for hours. I didn't know where you were. That was a stupid thing, just wandering off. How could you think I don't love you? Ok, I've been a shit lately, but do love you. I've been trying to get your parents to come and saving up money so you stupid sister can come. I wanted to make it up to you and show you how much I love you….please don't leave me."
At this point Jade, too upset to speak, just pulled Tori in tight and cried uncontrollably.
Tori of course, felt horrible for what she had done and quickly began to sob herself. She hadn't realized that Jade had been trying to make up for her behavior.
"I'm sorry, I've been horrible too. My parents have been fighting, we've been fighting. I just blew up at you and ran off. I'm sorry. I love you too, I thought I was losing you."
For several minutes more the girls cried in each other's arms. Then abruptly Jade seemed to get angry again and lightly pounded Tori's chest.
"Don't ever do that to me again!"
Jade then sighed and sat on the bed, looking profoundly sad, prompting Tori to sit next to her.
"It's not easy." Remarked Jade after a minute of silence.
"Living together?"
"Yes."
Tori nodded. "I thought we would be fine. We're different, but I figured, none of the little things would matter. I was so looking forward to Christmas, hoping we could reconnect. But I screwed up."
It was then Jade reached and slipped her fingers into Tori's making the Latina feel immeasurably better.
"We both messed up. We both thought it was easy. We didn't realize that living together takes effort."
"Now what?"
After squeezing Tori's hand Jade responded. "Well your parents have called a 24 hour truce. We celebrate Christmas before they're at each other's throats again. We talk more, try harder. I want this to work Tori. I've never liked Christmas, I'm sorry. It's all fake and full of bullshit. I'm a bitch 90% of the time, but I need to realize that I need to …I don't know what I'm saying, I'm just rambling. I just know that when you were missing, I went nuts. I can't live without you. "
"I was crushed when I thought we were finished. I know we'll fight and get on each other's nerves. We just need to keep talking, never stop talking and…." Then Tori smiled. "More sex….Much more sex."
Jade smirked, then leaned her forehead against Tori's. "Deal. But Get this Tori Vega. I love you, I'll work 100 times harder to keep you and show you how much I love you, I'll even celebrate Christmas if it makes you happy, but you are still very much in the dog house with me. Got it Vega."
Tori smiled. "Got it."
Jade closed her eyes for a moment and collected herself. "Good. Now dinner is almost ready, no thanks to you. Come on let's eat.
After pulling herself back together, Tori took Jade's hand and remerged into the living room, just as her mom and sister were putting dinner on the table.
Tori was happiest that her parents had put their differences aside for one day and get along, though she knew it wouldn't last. Tori told of her experience at the community center and said that they should be quite thankful for what they had. Something that both Jade and Tori took to heart.
With the dinner, with the tree and decorations and family present, it was like Christmas used to be in the Vega household. Though Tori and Trina collectively cringed at one Vega Christmas tradition they'd rather forget.
Tori's mom played the early 1960's era, Christmas Holliday Album by Band Leader Mitch Miller and his gang. Holly Vega's grandmother used to play the album at Christmas time and for Holly Vega it brought back special memories. For everyone else, it was hideously old fashioned and to Jade, actually painful to listen to. She described it as almost as painful as not knowing where Tori was.
But in the spirit of things almost everyone, pretended to like the album. Though Jade, the brilliant actress she was, couldn't even pretend to like it, so she merely pretended to not hate it all that much. Afterward she banned the playing of that album in their apartment ever again, under pain of no sex for a month.
She stated. "That is a Vega family Christmas tradition that will DIE!"
After a wonderful dinner, they all sat around and talked, with everyone in good holiday cheer. As it was time, to leave, Tori and Jade walked, Trina, Holly and David to the door.
They said their good byes and finally Holly and David looked at each other for a few moments. Tori noticed it was a sad look. Tori thought perhaps it was because the truce would soon be over and maybe just maybe they missed some of the good times they once had.
"We'll Merry Christmas Holly. Thank you. I'll take Trina to her hotel." Said David.
Holly nodded. "Thank you. Merry Christmas to you David."
With that, Tori and Jade were alone.
"Thank you Jade for trying to get my parents together, it was the nicest present you could ever give me." Tori said, with an equal amount of sadness herself.
Jade took her hands. "I failed. Only you're being missing, caused them to be together, but I'm glad you liked it. I so wanted to make things up to you."
"Come on, you said I need to pick up. Let's clean up dinner."
Jade shook her head and with a very stern look, pointed to the bedroom. "All the food already has been put away. The rest can wait. You young lady will march right into our bedroom right this instant. I am grounding you to bed, for the remainder of the evening, all Christmas day and the entire day after that."
Tori tilted her head and frowned like a disappointed child. "And what am I to do in bed, all that time."
Jade pulled the Latina into a tight but loving embrace. "Spend it with me, so we can be close again. Close as two women who despite constantly getting on each other's nerves are madly in love. It doesn't even have to be sex, I just want to hold you. That will be my Christmas present."
A tear came to Tori's eye. "That's the most beautiful thing you've said. I love you so much."
"I love you too Vega."
After a long quiet and tender moment in each other's arm's, Tori broke the silence.
"We are going to have sex, right?"
With a chuckle, Jade quipped. "Oh yeah. As you suggested. More sex…Much more sex."
Author's note. Mitch Miller was a Music executive and choral director. In the early 1960's he had is own television show where he would direct his chorus of singers. His musical tastes and style was very old fashioned. He absolutely hated Rock and Roll. As a Record Company exec for Mercury Records, he had the chance at various times to sign to his label, Buddy Holly, Elvis and The Beatles. He passed on all three. It was actually my grandmother who used to play his record at Christmas, so I am the one that sadly is familiar with his music. I wish I wasn't.
Have a merry Christmas Everyone.