Summary: When you look around, what do you think? Do you feel like you're missing something vital? Do you feel like the world is holding its breath? YOLO. You Only Live Once. Have you lived? Have you taken risks and lived everyday like it was your last? Allona Adalia Dux didn't. She hid. Her best friends dragged her out. But it wasn't the same, Scott and Stiles were...different. She was different. Then BOOM! She finally understood. She found out the worlds secret...and her world was never the same again. Season 1/OC/Unknown Pairing.
A/N: All outfits are on my profile.
A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Wolf world. I only own Allona. (Pronounced: Ah-lone-ah.)
Rating: M
Word Count: 5, 250
Reviews are always appreciated!
SDL=Self Defense Lesson
A/N: Chapter written and edited: 10/31/14
I am going over my chapters and deleting them and fixing them. Not a lot will change, this is mostly for the grammar mistakes.
Please enjoy this new first chapter/prologue!
Reviews are always appreciated!
Prologue
Life.
You wouldn't think it, but it can be a pretty complicated word. My life has never been what most would call normal. It is about as fucked up as a life can get. But before that...My life was perfect as a life could get.
My mom looked like me. She had long, inky black loose curls and striking purple eyes. The only difference is my mom was tall and willowy and her eyes were a pale violet; not a dark color like mine, and she didn't have silver flecks.
My little sister on the other hand was a year younger and she was our fathers daughter. She had long, curly, honey-blonde hair and sky-blue eyes. Like dad. When she was first born, I was determined to hate her. I was happy with how our family was and I thought my parents would forget about me. When dad took me to the hospital to see her, I didn't want to go.
I can hazily remember him wrestling me into the back seat and me pouting. When we got to the hospital, the only reason I got out of the car was because he said I could see mom and have some ice-cream.
I know. How bratty does that sound?
When I saw mom pale but smiling happily, I scrambled down and over to her. She clutched me to her side and kissed my forehead. What happened next is something I have not, nor will I ever forget. Mom showed me the little blonde bundle swaddled in a blanket. I stared at the tuff of blonde hair before I slowly reached out with slender little finger and pulled the blanket down.
Elektra was my beautiful baby sister. Her name meant 'bright light' and she was. As she turned her tiny head, raised a tiny fist and rubbed it on her eyelids before opening her bright, baby blue eyes, I fell in love. She was perfect. She was mine. Her eyes met mine and she smiled. It was a small smile. It was a sweet smile. It was an innocent smile.
I promised myself then and there I would never let anyone or anything hurt her.
I failed to keep that promise.
~-O-~
Death.
There's another complicated word. I have experienced way too much of it. I remember the first time.
I was five.
Such a young age. Such an innocent age. My little sister was only 4. After Elektra was born, our life was like something you see in a perfect movie. Mom and dad were perfect. They loved us completely and unconditionally. In their eyes we were perfect. In our eyes, they were the King and Queen of the world and everyone bowed down at their feet.
I still remember the day it happened. We had just come inside from playing. Our cheeks were flushed, eyes bright. Dad took us to the bathroom to get washed up while Mom went downstairs to make us sandwiches.
We were laughing and giggling as Dad made a soap mustache with the foamy cleaner. One minute we were happy, bright and untouchable. The next, it all came crashing down. It started with a scream.
Dad froze before paling and rushing down the steps.
I got down and followed him, Ellie close behind me. I remember hearing Dad pleading, crying. I turned to Ellie and told her to stay. Then I slowly crept into the kitchen. I vividly remember what I saw.
Mom was sprawled on the ground, inky black hair spread in a halo around her head, violet eyes blank. Dad was hovering over her, sobbing. He slowly picked her up and rested his head on her chin. I still remember his pleas.
"Please, please wake up. I beg you, my darling Derelene. Don't leave me! You cannot leave me!"
I remember slowly walking over to them.
"Daddy, what's wrong? What's wrong with Mommy?"
He told me. I remember wailing and throwing myself on the floor. I vividly remember Dad's reaction. He gently set Mom down and got up. He came over and tried to console me. I was throwing a temper tantrum of epic proportions. He finally just slapped me. I fell silent and stared at him, my eyes wide and mouth in a small 'o'. He took me by the arm and gently shook me. The words he said are engraved in my mind.
"Sweetheart, I need you to listen. Your Mommy hit her head. She is dead." I started to cry again. "Shh. No crying, mia piccola combattente." (My little fighter.) "No crying. I need you to be strong now. Your little sister is going to be scared. I need you to be strong. For her. Promise me."
I remember staring at him with shock. I was dazed and hurt but I could understand what he was saying.
"Promise me!"
That snapped me out of it. Though I had only been alive for 5 short years and already had a small (selective) group of friends, the most important person to me had always been my baby sister. This was a promise I could make. I raise my chin, squared my tiny shoulders and made my promise.
"I promise Daddy. I will keep her safe. I will keep Elektra safe, always and forever."
He gave me a look of pride before calling the police.
I turned and walked out of the kitchen and to my baby sis. I held her and cradled her tight against me. I kept my promise and I made sure she didn't see the same thing I saw. I didn't want her to have nightmares of our mothers bright, blank...dead eyes.
~-O-~
Loss.
It is a synonym for 'death'. Unfortunately it is also a word I am intimately familiar with. I never wanted to see the day when my best friends would come to know it as strongly as I did.
Scotty was only 6. Scotty has warm brown skin, floppy brown hair and chocolate puppy brown eyes. Scotty's brown eyes are filled with a heartbreaking look.
"He's gone! He left! Mom said he isn't coming back! He left me!"
I remember feeling a sharp sense of dread for the pain in his voice. But even then, I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was older in mind than any child had a right to be. So acting as a mother (though I didn't know it) I pulled him into my arms and rested his head on my shoulder.
"Who left Scotty? Who isn't coming back?"
He let out a choked sob before telling me. I remember ice filling me as I came to my first realization.
"Dad's gone! He left! He doesn't love me anymore."
I felt an anger. I never wanted him to feel that way. I pulled back, put my hands on his shoulders and looked him in his watery brown eyes.
"No. He left. But if he left, it was probably for a good reason. Just because he left doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And even if he doesn't, we do. Me, your mom, Sti, we all love you. We will never leave you. I promise."
His eyes filled with a realization.
His realization was different than mine. He found out we would always be there for him, no matter what. He would always have us to care for him and help him. That gave him comfort.
My realization?
Everyone leaves. Sooner or later, something happens and they leave.
~-O-~
Death (continued)
The second time I experienced the pain of death, it was my fathers. I was 6 and Ellie was 5. It was a few months after Scotty's dad left him. I remember wondering why we had to loose our dad.
And they way it happened...It was a cruel parody of how our mother died.
We were outside laughing and giggling. I had gotten Ellie to go outside with me and we were playing tag.
"Hey, can we play?"
I whirled around and grinned as I saw two of my best friends.
"Scotty! Sti!"
I remember tossing myself at them and us tumbling to the ground. We were so happy. We were on top of the world. Scotty, Stiles, Ellie and I were happy as we played in the back.
Then something happened.
To this day, I don't know how I knew. All I remember is playing and then freezing. Dread filled my heart and I whirled around to the house.
"What's wrong?"
Stiles always knew. He always knew when something was up with me.
"Sti, take Ellie and Scotty. I need you to get your dad."
They wanted to argue. I could see it in their eyes. Even then, I had authority. I pulled my slender body up as high as I could go, set my shoulders and squared my jaw. They knew they had to listen when I got that demanding glint in my eye. Later we would joke I could take over the world when I was in that mode.
"Okay."
Just like that, Stiles, Scott and Ellie left. I slowly turned to the house, a frightful feeling filling my chest; taking the place of the joy that was in my heart minutes ago. I walked up to the house and up the stairs. I somehow knew where to go. My little feet walking down the hallway and up the stairs. I remember stopping in front of the bathroom door, my breath coming faster.
I remember reaching out with a tiny hand and pushing the door open. It swung open quietly as I stepped forward. I remember walking in and turning to the bath tub; my breath leaving my body with a whoosh.
He was floating in the tub. I remember each detail. His blonde hair was a darker blonde as it was soaked with water. His face was frozen, his lips in a frown, face aching with the loss of our mom. I didn't know it then, but that day was the anniversary of when mom agreed to marry him. The pain of the memories was too much for him and he took the easy way out.
I remember feeling a distant sense of shock when I met his eyes. They were open and looking at me.
"Derelene? Is that you, my love? Have you come to take me away?"
His voice was raspy and choked. His eyes had a glaze to them; he was well on his way to death.
"Daddy? Daddy, I need you to get up. We need to get you dry. Ellie needs you."
Using my baby sister was usually enough to pull him out of his daze. It halfway worked.
"Allona? Come closer."
I remember walking over to the tub and wondering why the water was red. Dad reached out and pulled me closer; and I saw the cuts. He had red, raw, open cuts all along his arms. That was why the water was red. It was blood.
"Allona, you are still so young. I am sorry you have had to go through so much. Seen so much. I have failed you. I was supposed to keep you safe. Both of you. Unfortunatly my enimies are much too strong. I do not have the strength to fight them anymore. I need you to grow strong. I need you to grow to be a leader. Because that is what they will need. A leader. I want you to remember. I have always loved you and Ellie. Stay strong, mia piccola combattente."
I was so confused. For a long time, I just thought his last words were a hazy rambling...how wrong I was.
"Daddy, we need you to get up. Please. I can't loose you. Ellie needs you...I need you."
But it was too late. His head fell back and slipped under the water. I will never forget the look in his eyes. It was equal parts dread...and a profound sense of peace.
~-O-~
Interlude
After we had the funeral, Ellie and I were sent to live with our Uncles. Their names were Alvah and Aliah. There parents obviously knew them well if they named their sons "evil" and "demonic." Needless to say our Uncles didn't appreciate us being foisted on them.
At first, they were distant but never harsh.
That all changed a few months after we started living with them. I still can pinpoint when it all began.
Ellie and I had just come home for school and we were hungry. Our Uncles were in the kitchen arguing about something when we burst into the kitchen. We had been racing each other to see who could go faster. Ellie always insisted she was the fastest which is what prompted our race.
They straightened and faced us, the look on their faces scared Ellie and she shrank into my side.
"Uncles, may we please get something to eat?"
A rage ignited in their eyes and I gave a tiny gulp.
"You may not. We were having an important conversation. You inerupted us. That calls for a punishment."
Uncle Alvah took off his belt and advanced on us. I remember feeling so afraid and shrinking back.
"The little one first."
Uncle Aliah told him and he turned to Ellie. I was so scared but I could never let her be hurt. That was the first time I learned flippant remarks can take angry attention away from someone I care about and put it on me; it was the first weapon in my arsenal. I used it frequently in order to keep the ones I care about safe.
"It wasn't her. I did it. Besides-"
I gave a rude toss of my little head and clenched my fists at my side.
"You should go pick on someone your own size! If you can even find a grown-up as small as you two!"
That really angered them. I won't go into detail but it wasn't pretty what happened next.
They always tried to hurt my sister so I had to become really good at witty (rude) remarks. It was our shield and armor. All I had to do was distract them while Ellie ran to our room and locked the door.
Sometimes that only made them angrier. I knew that, but I refused to let them hurt her. Sometimes my defiance granted me a worse punishment. I didn't care. No matter how bad the pain was, I learned to shove it to the side and take more. It kept her safe and that was all that mattered to me.
As long as she was safe...I could hold on.
~-O-~
Faith
It was at one of my darkest times that I made a friend outside of Scotty and Stiles.
His name is Boyd.
I first noticed him at school. He was big. Taller than the other kids in our class and bulkier. When we went outside to play, he sat on the sidewalk by himself. I remember watching him and wondering why he didn't play with the other boys.
The first time I talked to him, he was so surprised. It kind of hurt me a little on the inside; no one should be so confused about why someone wants to talk to them.
"Hello. My name is Allona. What's yours?"
He looked a little scared, like I was going to play a trick on him or something.
"My name is Boyd."
His voice was soft for someone his size. I thought his voice would be loud.
I smiled at him and pointed at Scotty and Stiles.
"Do you want to come play with us?"
Boyd looked at my two friends hanging upside down on the monkey bars and shook his head. It didn't faze me.
"What do you like to do?"
Boyd thought about it before reaching into his pocket and pulling out two toy cars. He looked at me and I could see he thought I would leave. Instead, I smiled at him and picked up one of the cars.
It was black and had Batman on the front of the car. The second car was yellow with black racing stripes. I giggled.
"That car is like a bumblebee! I can call you Bee."
I had nodded, satisfied with my decision. Boyd looked at me confused.
"But I thought only best friends give each other nick-names."
I looked at him, tilted my head to the side and narrowed my violet-and-silver eyes in thought. I finally grinned, violet-and-silver eyes alight with happiness. I squealed with glee and clapped my hands before putting my hands over my mouth and looking around secretivly. I turned back to Boyd and beckoned him closer. He slowly did and I giggled before turning solemn.
"I guess that makes us best friends, huh?"
I asked, with all the seriousness of a soldier. Boyd looked at me before slowly smiling. I giggled as we raced our cars down the sidewalk.
As we were walking back to the classroom, I realized something.
It feels good to give someone hope.
It gave me a little faith that I could be happy soon.
I sheltered that little flame in my heart and surrounded it with brick walls and the love, comfort and safety of my friends and Ellie.
~-O-~
Death (continued)
After how torn up Scotty was after his dad left him, I never wanted any of my other friends to be hurt.
Stiles was 8 when his turn of terror approached. All his life, his mom had been weaker than other moms. She had cancer. I never knew what kind it was, only that it drained her strength.
She was getting weaker and weaker until one day she had to be rushed to the hospital. She spent a week in there. The whole time I couldn't see Stiles. He was at the hospital with her.
Finally, it was Friday. Ellie and I spent Friday nights at Stiles and Saturday's at Scotty's. I was impatient the whole way there. As soon as we got to Stiles house, I threw myself out of the car and raced into the house.
It took me a second to glance around, drop my bag and notice Stiles wasn't downstairs. Ignoring Mr. Stilinski's greeting, I push past him and up the stairs. Before I reached the door to Stiles room, I slowed down and silently shove the door open. Stiles was sitting on his Batman sheets, his knees curled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around his knees, and his head pointed to the window.
"Sti? Stiles?"
He stiffened and turned his back to me.
"Go away!"
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had gone away. But I didn't. My loyalty for my best friend would never, could never allow me to.
"Sweetheart, Stiles isn't feeling up to playing right now. How about you go downstairs and I can put a movie on for you?"
I shook my head at Mr. Stilinski's offer and slowly, silently padded into the room. I kicked off my shoes by the door before crawling onto the bed. Stiles turned his face away from me, but not before I saw his wet face. I remember silently studying him. He was hunched over, misery etched into his every movement. I couldn't stand to see him hurting. I had to do something.
I reached out, wrapped my arms around him in a hug and put my head on his shoulder. Stiles stiffened again before relaxing.
"I'm scared. Mommy's in the hospital and I can't help her. She looks so sad and I-I-"
I remember his heart-breaking sobs that wracked his body. We were so small and innocent then. But at the same time, more mature than we ever should have been. I hugged him close, pulled him to me, and we cried together.
It was a week later she died. I remember because just like with Dad, a terrible feeling swept over me. Then I was running. It didn't matter that I was in pajamas. I needed to get to Stiles. I remember running through the streets, racing into the hospital, down the halls and into Mrs. Stilinski's hospital room.
She looked like she was choking, like she couldn't breath. Stiles was screaming and crying as a nurse held him back. I raced over to him and he lunged at me.
"Help her! Mommy! Mommy!"
The nurses pulled us out of the room. The air was thick with fear. I remember Stiles crying uncontrollably, collapsing in my arms, tears streaming down his cheeks. He choked on tears, desperately wishing his mom would be okay.
We waited outside the room quietly. Stiles and I were curled up on the floor outside the door. Small tremors were running through his body, silent tears racing each other down his cheeks. His clear brown eyes were clouded and dark.
We clenched onto each other's hands. I loved her too. She was another mom to me. I could understand what Stiles was going through. The time seemed to drag on and it seemed like days before the doctor came out. The door opened and we scrambled up, our joined hands sending a flash of sadness in the doctor's eyes.
I remember feeling like a ledge was right in front of Stiles and I...and feeling like we were going to fall off.
"Is she okay? Is Mommy okay?"
Stiles small plaintive face made the Doctor falter and that's when I saw her. Her brown hair (so much like Stiles) was spread out (like my Mom's) on the pillow and her eyes were closed. Something about how she looked told me she was dead.
Stiles saw her a second after me.
I feel him freeze before he launched his body towards the room.
"Mommy! Mommy! Wake up! No! No! Mommy!"
We collapsed on the ground crying. We were inconsolable. Stiles was choking on tears and I was falling apart.
No matter what the doctor did, we couldn't stop crying.
It was a while after when Mr. Stilinski came to the hospital. When he did, Stiles burst into a whole other round of tears and threw himself at his father.
This was tearing us all apart.
I never wanted any of my friends and family to have to face death.
It was harsh, pointless and only cause pain.
Loss (Continued)
The first time I met Jackson, we were 9. We weren't friends. I saw him at school but he had his group and I had mine.
That all changed.
I had been having a bad day.
I had accidentally broken a plate and gotten punished for it.
I took Ellie to her friend Cora's house before leaving and wandering the neighborhood. I had my head down, inky black locks hiding my face and kicking rocks as I walked.
I was going to go to Scotty's house but he was in trouble for breaking a vase. Stiles was spending some time with his dad and Boyd was away for the week with his family.
In a fit of anger, I kicked a rock harder than I meant to and it broke a small flower pot. Scared, I froze and looked at the house. I couldn't get in trouble. Afraid, I turned and took off down the street, not slowing down until I got to the park. When I got there, I noticed someone sitting on the swings.
I almost turned and left but decided not to. I quietly walked into the park and sat down on a swing. We sat silently for a little while before he looked at me.
"I'm adopted."
I remember feeling surprised he would tell me that. I just cocked my head to the side and fixed my violet-and-silver eyes on him. Undettered, he continued.
"I just found out. Mom and Dad were arguing and I heard him say they should tell me I was adopted. ...They're not my real parents!"
I remember his voice breaking and his shoulders curling in.
"Do they love you?"
I asked him. He raised his head and looked at me, sky blue eyes brimming with tears.
"I don't know anymore."
That was the day Jackson Whittemore lost his innocents.
That was the day he gained a friend.
And later...possibly more.
Death
The day I truly lost it all, I was 10. Year after year something happened to make me wonder why life was so hard. But this year...this year made me wonder why life was worth living.
It began a normal day.
I got up, got dressed, got Ellie dressed and we went downstairs. We went to school, we came home. That was when it changed.
Instead of going to our rooms and staying there until dinner, we were met at the door by our Evil Uncles. Alvah and Aliah had dark scowls and angry eyes. As soon as we made it up the front steps and to the door, they grabbed our arms and marched us into the house.
I got a sinking feeling in my stomach when we were taken into the living room and I saw the pile of food on the coffee table. Our Uncles gave us really small portions of food. It was barely enough to feed a rabbit, much less two growing children. As a result, Ellie and I were always still hungry when we went to bed. I hated hearing Ellie's stomach grumble.
I hated hearing her small cries in the dark.
So I stole food. I would wait until our Uncles were sleeping before sneaking downstairs and grabbing some food. An apple, some bananas, bread, cheese, sandwich meat, anything that would fill us up and our Uncles wouldn't notice was gone.
I thought they hadn't noticed. As long as Ellie and I pretended to be super hungry after we ate our food, our uncles were satisfied. I couldn't figure out how they knew. It only took a few minutes for my eidetic brain to figure it out.
Lydia.
She was a friend we had. We had been playing truth or dare and she must have told our uncles. But why?
Then a cold wave of understanding washed over me.
Lydia had always had a crush on Jackson. After Jackson told me he was adopted, we became really close friends. Lydia must have been jealous and told on us to get us in trouble. I felt a wave of sickening fear. Lydia didn't know.
Lydia didn't know.
How could she? We never told anyone what happened to us in this house. Lydia probably just thought we would get grounded or something. From the harsh look on our uncles faces, I could tell the punishment would be much worse than that.
"What is this?"
Alvah's voice is loud and harsh. Beside me, Ellie flinches.
"It isn't enough that we feed and take care of you, now you steal our food?!"
They were getting angrier by the minute.
"Well, you don't feed us very much. Sir."
Uncle Aliah gets angry at that. He swells up like a bullfrog and advances on us. Scared, I get up and push Ellie towards the bedroom.
Only this time, they are ready. Alvah grabs Ellie and Aliah grabs me. Fear driving my actions, I bit his arm and ran at Alvah when Aliah drops me.
"Let her go!"
I kicked at him and he cursed before dropping Ellie. I grabbed her hand and we took off for the stairs. We almost made it to the room when they caught up to us.
Uncle Alvah picked me up and swung me over his shoulder.
"Ellie! No!"
I struggle to get down as Uncle Aliah slaps my baby sister.
"Little brat!"
Alvah snarls at her.
"No! It wasn't her!"
I shouted but they didn't listen. Uncle Aliah drops Ellie and she curls up on the ground, crying for me. Tears stream down my face as she lets out a single, piercing scream. I finally manage to get down and shove Uncle Aliah back with a strength I never knew I had. I picked up Ellie and ran for the stairs.
Uncle Alvah lunged for us and I fell. I curled in so I didn't hurt Ellie. I pushed her away from me, pleading for her to go.
"Go! Get Stiles's dad! Go! Run!"
Tears streaming down her face, Ellie reached out for me.
That moment cost her everything.
From behind us, Uncle Aliah got up and lunged for her. Scared, Ellie stumbled back and tripped. My wide, horror filled eyes watched as time seemed to slow down. Ellie tripped on her shoelace and seemed to be suspended in the air for a timeless moment before time caught up and she went tumbling down the stairs behind her.
"NO! NO! ELLIE!"
I raced down the stairs to my limp little sister.
"Ellie! No! No! Please no! Not you too!"
Behind me, I hear footsteps.
"It's your fault. If you had not stolen the food, she wouldn't have died. Now we must kill you too."
I throw myself over Ellie's body and close my eyes, accepting the death sentence. Ellie is gone.
My baby sister.
Gone.
A single shot rings out in the air and I frown when I don't feel pain.
I looked up and saw Stiles's dad. A neighbor heard the screams and called the police. I looked down at Ellie, so still, so pale. A single tear coursed down my cheeks as I kissed her head.
'Never again. Never again will I allow someone to hurt the people I love.'
Loyalty.
It's such a strong word.
Loyalty.
It defines my life.
Loyalty.
I will always hold it in my heart for those few I still love.
Stiles.
Scott.
Boyd.
Jackson.
...
And Lydia...should she ever earn and re-gain my trust.