Wind Tunnel Uses 101

By Miroku

Summery: Cursed with the wind tunnel and don't know what to do with it? Come to Miroku and learn everything from avoiding chores to removing demons. 100% percent tested. Completely authetic.

Hey guys, Mistressofdarkness here with my second story ^o^ Hope you guys will like it, and please review!!!!

Dear kindred spirits, we've been cursed with the horrible wind tunnel by the half-demon Naraku which allows us to suck anything in our paths but will one day suck us in. We all live a heavy life knowing our fates are doomed until Naraku dies and the curse is lifted but that doesn't we should spend our lives wallowing in self pity. No, we will enjoy every moment and use the very thing he cursed us with for our happiness. Not sure how? Well this book written by your favourite monk, me, will show you all the wonderful things you can do with the WIND TUNNEL!

Sucking away clothing.

This is for all you gentlemen and the occasional woman with an appreciation for the human form. This trick can be very rewarding but very painful if done wrong.

Step one: Pick your specimen and observe.

Find the girl(s) that you think is right and pay attention to wear they bathe. I recommend hot springs since they provide mist for cover and there are trees which will help hide you better and when you're desperate enough, you can climb them and wait out. Trust me, you'll need them when the girls don't turn out to be "normal" girls and/or have fathers that can kick our asses. It's good to have a sacrificial lamb if you're caught. I recommend someone named Hojo. The girls will get frustrated by his stuttering and thick-headedness and beat him long enough for you to make your escape. But it can also work against you for his sheer idiocy may somehow protect him from view and the vict- I mean specimens will come straight for you.

Step two: Find and suck in the clothes.

Once they have settled in, look for the clothes and use the wind tunnel on them. Now the girls will not have clothes to change into and will have to search around NUDE for their clothing but be nice and leave something for them to wear a close (far) distance away. No one wants the girls to catch a cold right? Or a get scratches on their nice, creamy ski- ahem moving on.

This trick works 9/20 times when I try it and for my defense, I'm merely searching for a worthy bride to bear my children through these observations. What are your reasons hmm?... And they accuse me of being a pervert.

Tips

Like I said before, choose a good place to hide out and observe without getting caught and butchered. I still recommend hot springs but waterfalls, private baths and even public bathes if you're brave/ asking for a quick death. It should be done from the evening to night, NEVER morning to evening for you will not last in the sun and you won't prepared for hunger battles. Therefore bring food, not too much because you need to be light on your feet when you have to flee and definitely water. Remember to have an escape route and not wear shiny things THE GIRLS WILL NOTICE THE GLEAM and then you'll be in a world of pain.

Warnings

This is an art that many have tried and failed at. First timers will unlikely leave unscathed and if do, might never do it again. This is of course not my fault for I am not liable to any injuries/deaths (see page 3) and mostly because of your failure to follow instructions carefully. Some common injuries are bruises, bleeding, cuts, infections, nosebleeds (the non-good ones), fainting (wimps, who faints at this stuff?), broken bones, disability to close eyes, lost limbs (specially down there) and more. Deaths from beatings may occur.

TIP OF THE DAY: Make sure that who ever you're peeking at (you know you are), are actually GIRLS. You will not be happy when you find out your Mimiko is a Michio... unless you swing that way, I dunno...

Hope you guys like it and please review. The more reviews, the faster I update ^_^ I'm a bad updater so I need the motivation!!!