Who's on First
"Out!" Mr Schuester cries when Mercedes swings and misses for the third time. Puck would feel sorry for the girls, so far their little social boys-vs-girls is skewed pretty heavily towards the boys so this team building exercise is probably a bit demoralising for them, but he can't really find it in him to care too much. So sue him! He liked winning, and it doesn't happen as often as it should, if you ask him.
Maybe it's not fair that he and Mike have been playing baseball together since Little League and Kurt dives for balls like they're Grammys. But the girls always seem to win these little team-building competitions, and as far as he's concerned they are due for win of their own. And it's not like they're completely helpless - pretty much the only lesbian stereotype that Santana actually fills is four years on the varsity softball team - and if anyone can scare talent into a bunch of wussy girls it's her.
But honestly, the next two batters up are Tina and Rachel and both of them look terrified at the prospect of having to face the pitcher's mound and actually attempt to hit something. Puck reckons they have this in the bag.
Tina steps up to the plate and squares off against her boyfriend. They share a cutesy smile (did he just think the word 'cutesy'? He cringes at himself for clearly leaving his nut-sack in his other pants) and Mike actually blows her a kiss before throwing the most weak-ass pitch Puck has seen him throw in years. Tina swings and hits it between Finn and Sam and she runs, managing to get all the way to first and Santana to second before Finn gets to the ball. The girls in the bleachers are cheering and clapping joyfully at their good luck.
"I hope that shit gets you laid tonight, bro," Puck yells darkly at Mike, not caring that everyone else can hear too. "Because that was weak and you totally betrayed your team for snatch."
Mike shrugs, and Puck tosses the ball back at his stupid smiling face. Unfortunately Mike catches it. Whatever. They'll still win. The bat they're sharing is almost bigger than Rachel anyway, and she's holding it like a musician would hold some sort flute or pipe- like it's something dainty and breakable and not something that could smash your eye socket into your brain stem if you're not careful where you swing it.
"'Sup Berry?" He says with a grin as she steps up to the plate.
"I'd appreciate it if you desisted trying to intimidate me. It won't work." She says with her usual confidence. Puck finds it admirable on some level, her dog-headed belief that she is always the best at everything. Pity she's wrong this time. He doesn't like the expression her face makes when she's disappointed.
"Who's intimidated?" He says lightly, but the grin doesn't leave his face.
Sure, he might not like her looking disappointed, but he likes winning more, so... priorities and all that.
She lifts the bat over her shoulder and swings experimentally once, twice, before stepping up to the plate.
"Come on, Rachel!" Tina yells from first.
"Don't suck!" Santana yells from second.
"I'll still like you if you suck." Puck says quietly to her, and she risks a sharp glance at him before turning back to Mike.
Mike draws his arm and throws the ball, harder this time than the one he sent at Tina, and Rachel swings and misses. Puck catches it easily between his gloves.
"Strike one!" Schuester calls.
"Strike one, Berry." He goads, then tosses the ball back to Mike.
"Shut up, Puckerman." she says and there will always be a special place in his heart for the wonderfully pissed off expression she has on her face right now.
"It's all right to suck at something, the world won't swallow you up because you're lacking in talent."
He can almost taste her stony silence.
"Let's keep it light, guys!" Schuester says, in a futile attempt to sever some of of the tension.
Rachel steps back up to the plate, gripping the bat more tightly this time. Mike pitches, she swings and...
The ball goes soaring across the field with a solid THWACK, high over the heads of Finn and Sam, and Kurt runs after it as fast as his skinny legs will take him. Rachel tosses aside the bat and sprints quickly from first to second, and the girls in the stand explode into raucous cheers and squeals. Santana and Tina both fly past him and by the time Kurt gets to the ball Rachel is rounding third base. She's barrelling towards him with that exact same scary-determined face she always has on when she has a prize in her sights. Kurt pelts the ball to him as hard as he can just as Rachel dives for the plate...
"SAFE!" Mr Schuester cries as Rachel careens straight into his chest, knocking him back into the dirt.
She's breathing heavily on top of his chest, and honestly Puck is a little bit speechless. And horny because she's rubbing right up against his-
"Where the eff did you pull that from?" He asks in disbelief, shifting her to the side as he realises that she's just sharked him and he never even noticed. She's clearly a lot better at that acting thing than she generally got credit for.
"My uncle played for the Cubs." She says, pushing herself off him with a devious grin. She pats him twice on the chest. "Haven't I mentioned that? I used to visit every summer."
Before he can reply the girls pull her into a group hug full of squeals and jumping and noisy high-pitched celebrations of their win, and Puck can't even bring himself to feel shitty that the guys lost because, you know what? If she's this good at baseball (and singing and dancing, and acting, clearly) then it isn't exactly a stretch for him to think she'd be good at like, everything.
He resolves to ask her out tomorrow.