Jaina was cold. Not just cold, but frozen, like any being unlucky enough to be caught outside on Hoth during a blizzard. The frigid feeling started at her brain, with the familiar memories of her basically carefree childhood, and descending toward her heart as the thoughts of years past reminded her more and more of Zekk. It had been nearly a year since last she'd seen the handsome, dark-haired young man, and she ached for just a glimpse of him. Jaina prayed for a transmission from his ship, even a slap in the face would be welcome, just to make sure he was still alive. Ordinarily she wouldn't have worried about his well-being; Zekk was more than capable of taking care of himself. The Yuuzhan Vong were what had her on edge. Jedi now had a price on their heads, and with that tended to travel in groups for safety. Zekk was a Jedi, and he was somewhere in the vast, dark, hostile galaxy all by himself. Jaina shivered. The thought caused her angst unlike anything else.
She stared out the window of the lavish suite she was residing in, courtesy of her Aunt Mara and Uncle Luke. She'd offered to stick around and entertain her aunt on Coruscant while she waited out the last 2 months of her pregnancy in a relatively calm environment. Mara was reluctant to take maternity leave from kicking alien ass, but as much as Jaina loved to vape skips with her fellow Rouge Squadron members, she opted to stay and see to her aunt's needs--and wait for any messages from Zekk that might surface. She sighed deeply and sank down into one of the cushy sofas in the spacious living quarters, crossing her arms over her chest and propping her feet up on the coffee table in a very unladylike manner.
"If your mother were here, she'd have your head for sitting like that," A voice sounded from the door. Mara Jade stood , leaning against the doorframe in a cremé silk robe. Her pregnant form cast a distinct silhouette on the floor. "Credit for your thoughts, Jai?" Her long red hair shone like spun gold under the bright glowrods as she flopped down next to her niece with a groan. "Gods, I can't wait until I have this kid and get my body back to normal." She chuckled good-naturedly. "So what's bugging you?"
Jaina brought her chocolate-colored eyes to meet her aunt's turquoise gaze. "What's been bugging me for the last 11 months?" She replied testily. Mara nodded sympathetically.
"Men. They're unreliable, conniving, inconsiderate, and they drive the significant sex up the wall. If they weren't necessary, we'd be much better off without them." She patted her swollen belly. "No offense, Junior. Anyway, Jaina, Zekk will turn up eventually; he always does." She squeezed Jaina's shoulder fondly. "If they love you, they come back to you. And Zekk did give you his necklace."
Jaina fingered the lengthy leather strap lassoed around her neck, and the shiny, milk-colored stone attached to the end. Zekk's most prized possession, the only thing he had besides his ship that had any monetary value or emotional significance, and he'd given it to her the night he'd left the Jedi Academy. The night after the graduation.
The dusk air was humid on the landing field as Zekk loaded the last of his few possessions onboard the Lightning Rod. Jaina watched from the doorway of the hangar bay, fighting back tears. Why did he have to leave again? It seems as though he'd just returned! She bit her quivering lower lip and turned away so she could no longer see him readying to leave her. A cool breeze blew, forcing her to wrap her arms around herself to shake off the chill. Perhaps there was no breeze at all, it was just the glacial sensation of being abandoned by the single person who made the sun shine and the stars sparkle. A lone tear forced itself from one gloomy chocolate brown eye and meandered slowly down her cheek. Jaina did not bother to wipe it away.
She felt arms wrap tightly around her from behind, and Zekk's warm body against hers. She felt him rest his chin on the top of her head. That was one of the aspects about Zekk that Jaina cherished most; the way he could swathe her in an embrace and make her feel small in comparison to him. She'd always felt protected in Zekk's arms before, but not now. She was caught between wanting to angrily shove him away and collapsing into him and begging him to reconsider leaving. Another tear slid down her face.
"Gods, Jaina, don't cry, please." Zekk pleaded, bending down to rest his chin on her shoulder and press his cheek into hers. "Don't make this any harder than it is." Jaina took a deep, shuddery breath to try and regain control of her emotions. She failed miserably.
"Harder? How can it get any harder? Zekk I just got you back and now you're taking off again! Why do you do this to me?" She shifted in his embrace so that she was facing him, so that he could see the hurt in her eyes. Zekk grimaced openly; he hated to hurt her and Jaina knew this. She planned to milk it to her advantage and back him into a corner, forcing him to stay with her. Gently, Zekk wiped the tears from her cheeks and pushed her long, straight brown hair out of her face.
"I'll only be gone a little while, Jaina, I promise. I swear by the Force, on my life. Have I ever broken a promise to you?" Jaina pondered that for a moment.
"There was the time when you promised me you'd get me my own starfighter for my 12th birthday and you ended up not getting me anything...and that time where you swore we weren't going to get in trouble for disassembling Threepio and putting him back together inside out, and I ended up getting grounded for a week and a half..." She let her voice trail off and a weak, trembling smile appeared on her lips. Zekk gave a halfhearted laugh at her attempt to lighten the situation. He tilted her chin slightly upwards so she was looking directly into his emerald green eyes; his handsome features once again settled into a solemn expression.
"I'd never go back on a promise like this," He murmured. "You mean too much to me. If I hurt you, I'd never be able to live with myself." He kissed her lightly on the forehead, pulling her closer. "You're my life, Jaina."
Jaina ran her fingertips across one of his cheeks, and Zekk caught her hand, holding it there as if it were a treasure he never wanted to part with. She gazed intently at him, memorizing every feature of his being as so not to forget his radiant perfection while he was away. "I love you, Zekk," She whispered, almost inaudibly. They stood for several moments in complete silence, just holding each other, until Zekk released his arms from around her and lifted something from around his neck.
"I know you said necklaces weren't your style, but I want you to have this anyway." He slipped it over her head. The snow white stone at the end glistened in the twilight. Jaina stroked the stone lightly, then looked back up at Zekk. "I promise I'll be back," He mumbled, burying his face in her hair. Jaina gripped him tightly, once again fighting back torrents of tears. They kissed their first real kiss, on the lips. It conveyed everything the couple could not put into words. Their relationship had only been official for two or three days, but to Jaina it seemed as though it had always existed. It probably always had, deep in the innermost corners of their hearts. After what seemed like an eternity, but not nearly long enough, they slowly moved apart enough to look at each other.
"I have to go," Zekk said, his voice strained. Jaina nodded, closing her eyes to hide her emotions. She didn't want Zekk to see the anguish in her expression. He kissed her once more, on the cheek. "I love you," He told her. Jaina squeezed his hand in reply, and continued to hold it as he began to walk towards his ship, until she could no longer graze his fingertips. Even then, she left her arm extended, as though reaching for Zekk would force him to return. He didn't look back. As the Lightning Rod blasted off, Jaina fell to her knees on the moist green grass of the landing field and sobbed, clutching the stone on Zekk's necklace all the while.
"Jaina...Jaina!" Her aunt's voice snapped Jaina out of her reverie.
"Huh?" She snapped her head towards Mara, who looked slightly amused.
"I didn't mean to send you into a state of hypnosis. I asked if you wanted to go get something to eat. I'm starved, thanks to him." She gestured towards her rotund form. Jaina muttered a decline and stood up from the couch.
"Thanks anyway, Aunt Mara, but I just need to get some sleep." With those final words she walked languidly from the room.
As she lay in bed, blanketed by serene darkness, she thought back once again to the day Zekk had left.
"I promise I'll be back," Jaina mimicked his words sadly. "Well then, Zekk, where the hell are you?"