The halls of St George's Western Hospital were alive. Doctor's sprinting with their white coats billowing behind them, nurses running here and there appearing in a multitude of different coloured scrubs, people pacing around, patients wheeling their IV drips around. People were everywhere, never stopping, constantly on the move, people to operate on, test results to give out, family members to visit. Busy, busy, busy. Raven, who stood in the middle of a hallway, taking everything in, realised that with the people in their heightened, adrenaline fuelled states, their very emotions were busy too. Emotions surrounded her, flowing from the bodies that couldn't stand still, coming out in waves of different colour. Raven breathed it in, her empathic abilities flaring with the mixture of feelings, her dark eyes narrowed as a wave of red ran by her, filling her mouth with the taste of his rage and what a sweet taste it was.
Moving slowly, becoming one with the shadows, she followed the hallway, every step was rewarded with a new emotion, a complete assault on all her senses, rage on the tip of her tongue, sorrow filling her ears, hope flashing before her eyes and despair violating her smell. It overwhelmed and thrilled her, years of banishing her own feelings made something inside Raven revel in the feelings of others.
A couple sitting outside a room were bright yellow, their fear radiating from them in vicious waves, Raven moved towards them, hidden from their view she leaned close, inhaling their fear, tasting it on her lips, it sent a shiver down her spine at the volume. The intensity that radiated around them was outstanding, Raven mused on the news they were expecting, cancer perhaps. Cancer seemed to have that affect on people, their fear all consuming before breaking into despair or absolute relief. It had to be some sort of life-threatening disease, things like that always had the strongest reactions and with the way the fear pulsated and flexed around them it had to be something bad.
Twisting her head to the side Raven examined them closer, they were both rather young, early twenty's, a very good looking pair, even with their faces contorted with sadness and tears. The women was crying hard, her cheeks red under the lines of wet tears, her blonde hair tied up in a messy bun, her blue eyes red and wide, a sad beauty indeed. The man held her, running a hand up and down her arm in soothing manor, his brown eyes watching her wearily, making him look older than he was.
A fresh wave of anguish hit Raven, making her eyes snap shut and breathe it in, letting in mix and swirl in her lungs as she drank it in. It was then that she decided to retreat from them, a flash of blue catching her eye and distracting her from the couple, with that she moved, growing rather bored with the crying young couple.
The blue blur was darting down the halls, practically skipping as it went, Raven followed it swiftly, and her eyes alight with curiosity when the hope hit her, threatening to swallow her whole. Her lungs released the taste of fear from her mouth and replaced it with hope, a sweeter taste by far. Eyes taking in the form of faith, a male child, with a dark complexion, black hair and hazel eyes, he was grinning, this made Raven grin in return, his feelings reflecting on her.
His happiness was there somewhere, Raven could feel it breaking through spots in her mind, it was refreshing, a total contrast from the last emotion she had picked up on. Happiness and hope mixed together, it was rather lovely and watching the child dash around, jumping over chairs, dodging doctors, only amplified his feelings, filling her with a child-like feeling of wonder.
Could this little boy be hoping for a parents recover, perhaps an ill father had promised he would play with him again when he got better, or his mother battling for her life and winning and she had finally smiled at him after months of sorrow filled expressions. So many possibilities to make a young mind feel such a desire for something.
Suddenly red blazed through her mind, her demon roaring from its cage, rendering her motionless as the anger surrounded her and tried to consume her. Raven snarled at the onslaught of sheer fury that overpowered all emotions in the area, it made it hard for her to concentrate at anything else. The shackles of her mind rattled, screaming as it struggled to keep her inner demon in place, a maniacal grin forming at the thought of release. It was obvious her demon blood was reacting strong towards the source of its power and she toyed with the thought of letting go, giving up all control on her mind and body, letting her darker side take over. Such a simple thing to just loose all control, fade into the recesses of her mind and close her mind and eyes to everything, ignoring the world around her.
Her life had been filed with such misery, trials and horrors and sometimes it felt like giving up was the easiest option, an option that would leave her trapped in her mind, but strangely free, without worry and care.
Opening her eyes, they sought out the source of outrage, her eyes reflecting the crimson emotion that was slowing filling her very soul. They followed the stream of colours quickly, her body moving on its own, drifting through the shadows with ease. The rage pulsated from a single man, radiating from him like a beacon of disaster, a warning to everyone around him. He paced, swearing under his breath, crying out at no one, punching one of the walls.
Raven watched him with amusement, his emotions were going to bring him to rune, drop him into the deepest depths of despair before swallowing him up and spitting him up along with his own self loathing. Chuckling darkly at the man, she wondered once again what had left this man in such a frenzy, what could possibly cause a man to radiate such strong negative emotions? Her curiosity leads her to phase through the door the man had slumped beside.
Darkness surrounded her, the only light came from a tiny side lamp that provided little illumination to the room. The emotional fury subsided slightly, leaving Raven's mind to spin the further she moved in to the room. It was as she was still reeling from the red feelings that another one overcame her, making her silent gag at the instant change in emotions. Love was slowly seeping into her mind, spreading warmth throughout her body, a feeling that Raven never usually dealt with.
She moved closer to the source of the emotions, closer to the purple light in the room, it was such a dull light, but the emotion was strong, it made little sense to Raven, who narrowed her eyes at the women who sat huddled on the only bed in the room. The women was very average looking, rather plain Raven noted, but what grabbed Raven's attention was the little bundle that was cradled in her arms. The woman was a mother, a new mother with a little baby in her arms. Feelings swelled and reacted with the realisation and tears prickled at Raven's eyes as she smiled and moved ever closer to examine the babe.
New life was a miracle in itself, something so very special; it was hard to believe it happened on a daily basis. Raven was amazed by it, struck feeling overwhelmed by the thought of a new life being brought into the world by two people. It was outstanding.
However, it made Raven wonder why the man outside wasn't happy with this, he should be filled with the loving emotions of the mother surely and yet he was outside the room being consumed by his own rage. It was so very strange. Raven looked over at the mother, trying to figure out why the two parents had such contrasting feelings.
Glancing at the child Raven noticed something wasn't quite right with it; it was still, no movement coming from it at all. Understanding swarmed her as she took in the discoloured skin, her inner demon grinning at her, rattling its chains once again as it laughed. The child was dead.
Emotions swam around her mind as she tried to comprehend the difference between her own and the people who surrounded her, she felt sick, suffocating on feelings and the need to escape burned brighter in her mind. Escape, that was exactly what she needed, she had to run, phasing through the floor she moved quickly, opening a portal to take her far away from the craze of emotions as she could.
Head in her hands Raven tried to breath, collapsing to the ground in an abandoned alley, gasping for breath. How did she do this to herself, every time she went to a place as emotionally overrun as the hospital she always ended up in such a state? Yet, she kept going back, kept putting herself through an assault on feelings, feelings that she tried to keep in check, tried to process in her mind and register them all. Raven was a mess, a fact she had learned long ago, she had blocked out emotions for so long she now sought them out from other people, for reasons beyond her, was the pain really worth it? The pain of her, reeling from strong emotions, gasping for air in a cold dark alleyway, why would anyone do that to themselves?
A noise distracted her from her internal rant and her eyes searched for the sound, wide and frantic, landing on a figure entering the alleyway. "Rae?" the voice sounded out, worry filling it and with that she realised why she did what she did, why she tried to figure out how to feel again. Raven wanted to love him and that was worth all the pain she put herself through.
I wrote this a few months ago when my friend lost her baby. I always feel the best way to express yourself is through writing, so after the funeral I took to the laptop and this is what happened.