I was inspired to write this by the song Down with the Sickness by The Disturbed. I own neither that song nor Naruto.
Narrator: Normal
Gaara: Italicized
Shukaku: Bold
The redhead let the kunai hover over his wrist for a very long time. It felt like ages. He was afraid this wouldn't work... It never worked. He finally brought up the courage to stab the kunai down onto the weak veins.
Nothing happened.
No blood.
Nothing.
The sand had blocked his attack again. Just like it always did. And always will. It would never let him hurt himself. It always protected him. He used to believe it was possessed by the spirit of his mother. He thought that was what was protecting him...
It wasn't.
His mother hated him. Just like everyone else. It was Shukaku that was protecting him... The beast couldn't let him die, or else the monster would die, too...
He looked up into the mirror, observing his reflection carefully. After a moment of searching, he decided upon staring at the black circles around his eyes. The marks created by the demon inside him. At least you wouldn't be able to see the bags under his eyes. Also caused by that same demon...
He couldn't sleep. He couldn't ever sleep. If he did, the monster...the monster would take over his body. It would control him. It would kill everyone in sight. People would attempt to kill him, only failing like they have done so many times before. He would be absolutely unstoppable...
He almost thought it was pointless to stay awake sometimes. The insomnia was making whatever was left of his sanity recede in a dark oblivion. He killed innocent people anyway. He didn't need this monster to do that. His view on reality was completely warped. He thought it was okay to kill someone as long as they existed...
The numerous thoughts on his life zoomed through his head as he looked back up at himself. He could see it... Shukaku. He saw the demon within himself. He noticed his eyes flicker slightly to a golden color. He was turning into it... Shukaku was slowly taking control. Staying awake only slowed the process down...
Come now, Gaara... It isn't so bad. You're my vessel. That makes you better than everyone else. If you would just give into me, you'll become so much stronger than you are now...
No... I don't want to be stronger... I don't want to kill people...
You don't want to kill anyone? Not even the ones who have ostracized you your entire life? Which, let's face it, is anyone you've ever met... Don't control your urges. Hate as much as you want. That hatred will fuel me... You'll be able to destroy everyone who has ever wronged you. You'll be the only one left. That way, no one else will be afraid of you...
Yes... That is right. No one will ever be able to hurt me again... You've made me absolutely mad, if I'm thinking like this... But it's better this way. I will feel much better in the end...
He refocused his eyes on the reflection. One of his eyes was colored black and gold. His head throbbed painfully. He wasn't falling asleep... He just hated more. He hated everyone. Why shouldn't he kill them? They would no longer have to live with him, if they hated him so much...
Will you give into me?
There was nothing good about him. Whatever strip of humanity he had left was decaying. The only part of him that kept him sane was slowly disappearing. His human side would soon no longer exist...
Will you give into me?
He thought about this a bit longer, purposefully ignoring Shukaku's question and trying to keep his thoughts away from him. He couldn't actually kill even more people, could he? They all had friends and families... All those people would be so sad...
He noticed the golden eye in the mirror change back to its usual pale green color for only a second.
I see you're having some trouble in your decision... You shouldn't let anyone live. Who cares about their loved ones? They had it coming. If they couldn't just accept you, their friends and family deserve to suffer as well... If you still feel bad for them, just kill them all, too. I'm sure they'll be happy to be with each other in the afterlife...
He's right... Who cared? It was their entire fault anyway. I should just let him take over... Everything will be so much better, then. I'll be in absolute bliss. I should just go to sleep... It'll make it much easier for Shukaku to take over me...
His eyes suddenly widened in fear. No... He couldn't go to sleep. If he did, that meant he would dream. And if he dreamed...
Gaara's Dream
"I'm sorry, Mommy! Please don't do it again! I promise I'll be a good boy from now on!" Gaara was pleading now, his hands clasped in front of him in earnest begging. Tears rolled down his cheeks like a stream. He tried to ignore the pain on the left side of his face, but his seven year old body wasn't able to bear the pain very well. "Please don't hit me again!"
The darker, more shadow like figure in front of him only stared down at him with an emotionless face. This person...creature...greatly resembled his mother. But there were traces of Shukaku's features on her as well. This included the oddly placed ears on her head and the tail that stuck out of her lower back.
The being he was calling 'Mommy' smacked him again, this time on the opposite side of his face. Gaara collapsed and fell onto his side. He felt so small...so weak... He hated this... He couldn't protect himself... The pain in his heart was much more brutal than the stinging on his face. "Why are you hitting me, Mommy...?" he asked very quietly.
'Mommy' reared its foot back and was just about to kick him in the side, hoping to possibly fling him a few feet.
"No...Don't... It'll hurt me..." Gaara spoke again, just as quiet but still enough for the creature to hear him. She looked mildly surprised that he actually told her to stop when he was so weak now... She would've thought that he'd only take the beating by now.
"Why...do you do this?" Gaara asked, louder now as he pushed himself to his feet. "Why must you...act like such a bitch?" he suddenly spat at her. "Why can't you just fucking die! I hate you so much. Why must you torment me so much? You don't deserve to live! Never hit me again, you bitch!
She stared down at him, her surprised face now replaced with a confused one. Such language from a young boy... Where could he have even possibly learned them? She opened her mouth to say something, but she was never allowed to speak.
"FUCK YOU! I don't have to deal with your shit!" he yelled at her, his fists clenched tightly at his side. "You're the worst mother in the world! You fucking whore!" Sand began to float around him, intimidating her. "Would you like to know how it feels, Mommy?" The sand moved closer together, not forming any particular shape. "Here it comes! Get ready to DIE!" The sand rushed forward and quickly engulfed what was supposed to be his mother. No screams were heard when the sand slowly crushed her to death.
Gaara was slightly disappointed in this.
End Dream
He still had a horrified expression on his face. His hands rested on the edge of the sink, and he was bent over it slightly. That was the last dream he ever had... He forgot about it. Probably more like suppressed it... That was the real reason he didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want to have that same dream again...that nightmare...
No... I don't want to sleep...ever. Too bad if you can't take over me...
I don't have time for this... I can still use your hatred from earlier. Get ready, Gaara... You won't be in control much longer. It's time to kill those who've despised you...
He suddenly felt another surge of hatred flow through him. He wanted those people dead... He wanted everyone dead!
It wasn't much longer before he was rushing outside of the house. Both of his eyes had taken the form of Shukaku's.
Shukaku had finally taken complete control over his vessel once again...
Despite the whole emoness of this, I actually had fun writing it. I hope it's at least a little better than my older fanfiction...
Leave a review, yada yada yada, you get the idea.