Drawing A Dream
what it means to love and hate you, of all people
You were speaking so clearly but they were all muted to me. Though you will always have a smile that captured my attention.
"Kiku, I'll help you make your flag today."
The cloth wrapped around us and it felt as if I was wrapped in a whole new kind of warmth different from yours.
From afar, I could hear people playing musical instruments.
The chrysanthemum was what I thought of.
I have an idea.
"We can make it something like this or like this..."
"But I don't want stars."
"Uh, then let's do something simple then! Something simple yet unforgettable like you."
I kissed you and you immediately pushed me away. The cloth ripped between us.
I love you?
"No, you can't do that!"
But why not? My small hands trembled.
We can make this piece of cloth look like a flag the next time we meet.
But when is that?
Always hoping, always wanting, always yearning that you look this way and understand me.
What I feel for you is more than love and hate.
Golden medals, infinite achievements, they mean nothing to you now.
That flag was now splattered with your blood. I smiled and looked down on you in pity.
That deep cut on your back; it's the same place which you used to carry me when I was little.
Somewhere in those eyes, I felt like you wanted me to die as much as I want you to.
"My medium."
"Unforgivable."
Your hate doesn't mean anything to me. My hands didn't stop trembling as my heart raced in excitement.
The world is mine now, now that you're mine.
The fluorescent lights.
"It took him several weeks to recover. His left eye was severed and he has broken bones. The nerves in his left arm got damaged and it resulted to the numbness. One rib shattered by a gunshot and went through an important cardiac vein. God, please help him. Anyone but my brother."
But when I awake, you'll always be there to bring tea, won't you?
"Why are you here? Why didn't you take the flag and burn it?"
Your eyes shone with tears and you threw yourself at me. You felt lighter. Has the blood drained from your body because of our war?
"I'm dying. I am mad at you. But why am I so proud? Saying to people that I was the one who raised you."
I slept. Please don't be by my side when I wake up.
You will only give me hope.
I am a country, not a human. But then love is not something a country would feel, isn't it?
"I brought you tea."
That flag now stands beside yours; but then we glare at each other while holding hands, and drawing blood all over again.
We will never learn.
We will never learn to hate or love.
Smiling, you handed it to me.
"Kiku, the flag is done. Hang it up on your room before you go to bed."
"Yes, Yao-san. Thank you very much."
Will tomorrow be different?
"K-Kiku..!"
"Yes?"
"I love...you. Good night."
But we beg to differ, right?
Notes: Please read this again and again if you don't understand the message. Or better yet, imagine Yao and Kiku's faces and feelings while they're living in this fic. All the pain they went through and the lines. What it means to be brothers and enemies and...to hurt each other. What it means to love and hate and not be able to differentiate these. I was inspired to write this 2 weeks ago and just finished it now. :|!
REVIEWS WOULD BE LOVELY. 8D Please tell me your thoughts!