May 18th 2005

Today was the day the world decided to starve her brain, starve it from something real. It was unlike this fake paste the world tried to shove down her throat. It was real, it was inspiring. Now she saw the darkness tainting everything beautiful. Now she saw that she was powerless against it. Her forehead ached from the wrinkle of a frown that had taken its permanent residence for the day. She felt the tightness of her jaws as she clenched them without relinquishment. She read the lines over until her eyes grew tired and her thoughts more infuriated and dirty with every word. How could this happen? She shook her head, eyes closed, and tried to calm herself. It was going to be a long day.

Lauren slammed her laptop shut. Today they had cancelled "Joan of Arcadia." In her life, it was a day that would live on in infamy. At the least, it was a stab in the heart. Not because it was a show, not because it was fiction, but because it was real. To her, the show was a lifeline. Things were happening in her life that she didn't understand, but Joan always helped her sort things out. Lauren wasn't your average teenager. She had visions, sometimes even dreams. They came true, that's what scared her. She knew the day her dog died, she knew that she didn't get the part in the school play, and today she knew the show was gone before she read the first line.

Things had started out slow with her visions. Some days it would be that she was going to spill a coke, others she would have little feelings. It was when she concentrated on things the most. They would interrupt her thoughts, all most as if on purpose. During a test, while she was auditioning, during an important conversation, it didn't matter, they still came. Now they were about important things, mostly things she didn't know how to stop. Making it even harder, she didn't know when her dreams were real or if she was having a plain, ordinary dream. Once, she had to reveal her visions to a friend because she'd had a dream he was doing crack. Fortunately, that was one of those normal dreams.

May 19th 2005

Lauren looked up at a tree. She smiled remembering the time Joan told God to show her a miracle. She walked along as she stared, her eyes traced the beauty of it. It really was a miracle.

"Oh," she bumped into someone, jerking her form her reverie. "I'm, sorry I-I," she paused as she studied the boy's face. "Kris Lemche?"

He smiled as her faced changed from apologetic to startled and confused. "Hi, Lauren."

Her eyes grew even larger at the sound of her own name. She searched his face. How did an actor know her name? "Are you stalking me from Myspace or something?" She proceeded around him to continue her path to school, yet he turned and followed her. "I didn't know actors were so creepy."

"I'm not and actor." She spun around to face him, when her eyes were directed at his corduroy jacket.

Still bewildered she asked, "What do you mean? You're on Joan of Arcadia."

"Sort of." He turned and walked the other direction only to be jerked back by the collar of his jacket by a puzzled Lauren. She studied his face hard. His face remained the same, as if he was predicting her every move.

"You're Kris Lemche."

"No, I'm God," he said with no emotion.

"Wow, you're good. I wouldn't be able to say that with a straight face." She crossed her arms and furrowed her brow with a slight smirk on her face.

"You know those little visions you've been having? That's me."

With that she hit the pavement, literally.