Authors Notes:
Disclaimer: If I owned it, do you really think I would post the storylines here and ruin the episode for you? I own nothing but the notebook computer this was typed on and the bed I was lying in at the time.
This came to me while lying in bed watching the tape of the episode Angel of Death. I love Nurse Carly. She is so fun!
P.S. I am looking for a beta and would like to be someone's beta in return. Please email me if you are interested!
Thoughts
"… Or like a wayward lover."
Oh Ducky, you have no idea. I did love Tony once, not so long ago, but now… Well, now he is in love with that Jeanne. I wonder if she even knows what he does for a living. Is that why he keeps her from us, or is he ashamed of the team he once considered family? I can't help but wonder if I am partly to blame. If we didn't have our 'fling' as Americans call it, would things be different? I don't think so but… It is silly of me to sit here and think these things. In the morning I will blame the tequila for doing the talking, but for now I will be content to just sit here and think. I wonder what Ducky would think of me if he could hear my thoughts. Would he laugh? Would he comfort me? Or would he, like so many other men in my life, just walk away? Would it be stupid of me to tell Tony that I never got over him? Whoa, where did that come from? I am over him, but he is still my partner and I don't want to loose him. I have had to train replacements before, but they were never as good as the ones I had before. I wonder why he turns his phone off when he is with her. What if Gibbs needs to get a hold of him? I wonder what would happen if Gibbs couldn't. Ducky is talking, shut up and let his words get inside.
"I am going to take my leave now Ziva. Do you need a ride home?"
"Thank you Ducky, but I think I will just call a cab. I need to make a stop of the way home. Have a nice weekend."
"You too dear. And Ziva, if you need to talk, I can listen just as well as I tell stories."
For the first time tonight I truly smile. "I know Ducky. Thank you. I will see you Monday." As he walks out the door I order once last round and ask the bartender to call me a cab. In the morning maybe this will all look different. Tonight it is just round after round of confusing thoughts swirling around in a tequila haze. Maybe tomorrow I will get up the nerve to have the conversation I have been putting off with Tony. A real one, before it is too late, and I lose him to Jeanne forever…
A/N 2: What do you think? Please review and let me know!