Chapter 1: at a revel with some rebels
Wu Ge Ge, He Qi, was born in the middle of a night when the moon was waxing. Considering her mother wasn't particularly favoured by Emperor Qian Long, no one expected the emperor to become particularly excited or moved about the birth of a girl, especially when the emperor had so few surviving sons.
Indeed, He Qi didn't meet her father until half a day has passed after her birth, not that she knew or cared at the time. The emperor was not disturbed when Yu Fei went into labour late in the evening. He was told when he woke the next morning that the baby had been born and that both mother and child were well, but he decided to go about his morning routine of meeting officials. He had lunch with the empress, who sincerely congratulated him, and he received her words with pleasure more because they came from her. The empress urged him to visit his new daughter, and he finally did, arriving at Jing Yang Gong well into the afternoon.
Then something happened that Emperor Qian Long did not expect, let alone plan for.
As he held He Qi in his arms for the first time, meeting her intelligent eyes, he was mesmerised. She might have come from Yu Fei's womb, but her face, her eyes, her expressions, even as young as she was, were all his. He had planned on being fond of this child, because she was his child, but he hadn't planned on having his breath so taken away.
*/*
He Qi grew, and it soon became clear that she was much too precocious and active for the limiting expectations and roles of a princess. It worried her mother that she was much happier on horseback with a bow and arrow, or even burying her nose in books, than the more feminine pursuits of needlework and embroidery.
Yu Fei spent a long time fearing her only child and daughter would earn the ire of the emperor for this. But here was the thing, the fact that He Qi took to these skills like fish to water only impressed Qian Long, and he decided it would hardly harm to give her a son's education.
Soon, Wu Ge Ge was joining the princes and little lordlings in the school room and on the racing ground. Her mother tried to balance it out with all the necessary lessons expected of a princess, too, and He Qi became proficient enough, to please her, but bending over threads and needles never thrilled her heart like the sound of wind whistling in her ears as she raced into the horizon on a green meadow.
Her mother didn't live long enough to permanently instil in her love for feminine arts. At eight years old, He Qi couldn't understand fully how the loss would affect her, but that didn't mean she wasn't devastated just the same. She liked Ling Fei enough, but how could it ever be the same?
*/*
Once, Fu Er Tai found He Qi in the imperial garden, tucked between some rock structures, crying.
Er Tai had been taught by his mother the virtues of giving way to the young princess. While he was content to let her win in races or shooting contests, in the school room, he wasn't quite so well-mannered that he would allow himself to look less intelligent than a girl who was the same age as him, but had started school much later than him. Just the same, He Qi was determined to prove that she was not just some girl who only got to study with the great Ji Xiao Lan by virtue of being the emperor's daughter, and that her father hadn't made a mistake in allowing her to take lessons with all the boys. So their interactions prior to this had consisted of trying to one-up each other in the school room. After all, classmates though they were, she was still a girl. They didn't mix.
But Er Tai couldn't politely ignore her now, nor did he want to, really, not when she looked so alone and was crying so pitifully. So he squeezed into the small, secluded space next to He Qi. His appearance made her startle, and she turned hastily away, wiping her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Er Tai asked. He knew it was a stupid thing to say. It was clear she wasn't. But he didn't know what else to say. It wasn't like he was ever really encouraged to socialise with girls, let alone princesses.
"I'm fine," she said, apparently attempting to put on a haughty tone, an attempt which was entirely ruined by the fact that the two small words were punctuated by hiccups.
"Then why are you crying?"
"The empress," was the succinct answer.
"Oh."
Even as brief as her answer was, it actually explained quite a lot. He Qi didn't mean the empress of the Fucha clan, of course. That kind lady passed away over a year ago now. The new empress – formerly Xian Huang Gui Fei – hated He Qi. Er Tai was only vaguely aware that the reason for this was because the empress was jealous of the attention the emperor paid to He Qi. Apparently, she thought her one-year-old son deserved more of the emperor's attention than a mere princess.
"What did she do?" Er Tai asked after a few moments of awkwardly and gingerly patting He Qi's shoulder and listening to her fading sniffles.
"It's stupid, really," He Qi said. "She just made me stand and fan her for a whole morning…"
"Oh, so that's why you weren't in class this morning."
"Yes." She looked momentarily even more disgruntled. "Anyway, it wasn't the first time she made me do something like this, so it normally wouldn't make me so angry. But she kept talking…"
She sniffed.
"What about?" Er Tai probed.
"She kept saying how she is so proud of Shi Er Ah Ge, and how he was destined for great things. And then she said how happy she was when he was born because he was a boy, and how a girl wouldn't have been quite as nice…"
"So she was deliberately trying to make you feel bad."
"Yes."
"So you should just ignore her. Shi Er Ah Ge is just a baby. He can't do anything yet. You're better than any boy! You're smarter than most of us!"
That made He Qi laugh. Her bell-like laughter seemed to shine light into Er Tai's heart.
"You admit that?" she asked, giving him a blossoming smile.
He asked, smiling back, "Would it make you feel better?"
"Only if you really mean it."
"I do, you know. Why do you think I try so hard to prove that you are not?"
She laughed even harder. "I guess I will have to make sure you never succeed now."
Er Tai grinned.
But, just as swift as her mood lifted, He Qi's face crumbled again.
"It's still unfair, you know," she said.
"What?"
She threw up her hands. "Everything! Boys get to go out and do everything. Girls are just supposed to sit and wait for things to happen to them."
"But Huang Shang allows you to do stuff, too," Er Tai pointed out. "You get to have lessons with us and learn to shoot and ride and everything."
"Yeah, but that's only because I begged and begged. And Huang Hou can still make me miss class just to accompany her to do nothing but sit and listen to her talk. And I can't even say anything. No one ever tells boys that you can't do something or be somewhere because you're a boy, or that you talk too much about things that don't concern you, or that it's not good for you to study too much or know too much. Shifu tolerates me in the schoolroom because Huang Ah Ma indulges it, but there are still lots of things he won't teach me. Boys get to study all the exciting history and statecraft and science while I'm supposed to be content just with the pretty literature and count my blessing that I get that much."
She finished her lengthy speech with a huff and a glowering pout, and Er Tai found himself torn between sympathy at her frustration and amusement at her words.
Still, he couldn't help asking, "But why would you even want to study history and statecraft? It's all about rulers and kings and emperors. It's not as if you'd ever be emperor."
"And you are?" she retorted. "But you get to sit in on those lessons anyway."
"I will be a subject to the emperor, so I need to learn the workings of his state."
"And I am the daughter of the emperor. I should say I have more rights than you."
"Well, maybe that is true, but we can't do anything about that."
He Qi pulled her knees to herself and rested her chin down on it. "I just wish Shifu would at least let me read the books, even if he won't teach me. I can teach myself. But he won't even let me do that. There are books he won't ever let me get my hands on."
"Wouldn't Huang Shang give them to you if you asked?"
"No. I've asked. He said it won't look good and the officials will complain if they know I'm given access to those kinds of books." She shook her head in disgruntlement. "I don't know why they should even care."
"Well, they probably don't want to expose you to unsavoury ideas. History can be bloody with all the wars and statecraft is always full of schemes," Er Tai said, only half conscious that he sounded rather pompous and condescending. He Qi, on the other hand, did not miss it at all, though she only sniffed somewhat disdainfully.
"You mean everyone is afraid those books would give me ideas outside of my sphere," she said, scoffing. "What do they think I would do? Suddenly try to fight my brothers for the throne? Maybe if I really live a thousand years until the world turned on its head, I could do that. But as it is now…" She trailed off with a sigh.
"So you would want to be emperor if you could?" Er Tai asked curiously. Even as he said these words, he couldn't help looking about warily, as if expecting someone – his father, his brother, the emperor or Ji Shifu – to suddenly appear to severely reprimand them both for these thoughts which at the very least were very improper.
"Why not?" He Qi asked. "I could be just as good as Huang Hou seems to think Shi Er Ah Ge will be."
Er Tai almost laughed at the absurdity of it, but somehow he managed to hold himself back. He also had a feeling that the idea wasn't as absurd to He Qi as it really should be.
"It's not as if there has never been a female emperor before," the princess added. "Why can't there be one again?"
"But you cannot wish to emulate Wu Ze Tian," Er Tai protested, shocked. "She was a vicious woman who killed her own children to usurp the throne. The Book of Tang wrote "the year that Lady Wu declared herself regent, heroic individuals were all mournful of the unfortunate turn of events" and that in the end, "like a hen that crowed, she eventually had to return the rightful rule to her son" and only then did everything become peaceful again."
"History books are written by men," He Qi argued, shrugging, clearly not giving much credit to the words Er Tai quoted at all. Er Tai wondered why she wanted to read history books if she would speak of words from them with such disdain. "Men never like it when women are better than them."
Here, she paused, and Er Tai could have sworn she gave him a quite pointed look. However, she continued before he could do much more than squirm in discomfort.
"Whatever she did to become emperor, can you say that no male emperor had ever done the same, if not worse? People always forget how efficiently her government was run, the fact that no rebellions occurred during her reign, how far she extended the country's territory and the developments her reign made to religion, literature and education. If a man managed all that, no one would care how he obtained his position. They'd be singing him praises and calling him a great emperor and a hero. But all powerful women are vilified and accused of causing the fall of empires. If men and their empires were so great to begin with, they wouldn't fall because of a mere woman."
For a moment, Er Tai had no idea how to respond to this.
"You think these words very improper, don't you?" He Qi asked when he didn't speak.
"No," he answered slowly. "These are your views, and I am sure to you they have some merits. I can see the logic in some of it. But…neither of us can ever repeat these words to anyone else."
"No," He Qi said, sounding a little more deflated. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."
Er Tai knew and was beginning to have better understanding of her words. She had just spent a morning listening to the empress comparing the Twelfth Prince's relative worth to her own, a comparison in which a prince would always triumph, so it was no wonder that Wu Ge Ge's mind was occupied with how unfair the world has always historically been to women, even princesses. Or, perhaps, especially princesses, being the subject of so much more pressure and scrutiny. Even at ten years old, Er Tai knew that if Wu Ge Ge were a boy, there would be a more than fair chance that one day Er Tai would be serving as subject under her. But the reality really was unfair, and Wu Ge Ge was so limited by something she could never control, when she could do great things if allowed to exercise her full potential.
Perhaps it was due to this dawning realisation, or perhaps he simply couldn't bear the morose expression on her face, Er Tai suddenly came up with an idea.
"You know, Shifu only bars you from the books you want to read, but I am encouraged to read them all."
He Qi turned to look at him with narrowed eyes. "What are you saying?"
"I could easily get the books for you."
"But you'd be in so much trouble when someone finds out," He Qi protested.
"Not necessarily," Er Tai said with a grin. "After all, I could just say you ordered me to do this, and what else could I do but obey?"
"So you would get me in trouble instead?" she asked. Her words were severe, but she was smiling.
"I believe you'll be in trouble regardless if Shifu – and therefore Huang Shang – finds out you're reading books that haven't been approved for you. But I don't think Huang Shang will ever be too angry at you if he finds out. He does allow you in the schoolroom, after all. He probably just has to put some restrictions on you to appease the court officials."
"Would you really help me?" He Qi asked, sounding rather dreamy now.
"Do you want me to?"
"Yes! Oh yes!" she cried, impulsively reaching out to squeeze his wrist through his sleeve. "Thank you!"
Years later, Er Tai would look back and realise that as much as they tried to be discreet, the emperor knew all too well where and from whom Wu Ge Ge obtained reading materials that had not been approved for her by the tutors or the emperor. And yet, Huang Shang chose not to interfere, or even let them know that he knew. Er Tai never allowed himself to think too much of the reasoning for this. He only knew that the years of clandestinely smuggling forbidden books to Wu Ge Ge turned out to be the means through which the two of them established their lifelong friendship, one which was quite strange, given their relative positions, but which both of them would treasure for the rest of their lives.
*/*
By the time He Qi was fourteen, the whole world knew it was a given that she would marry Er Tai. Or Er Kang. No one was probably particularly fussed which one. Her father certainly wasn't. He would have been happy with either as a son-in-law.
Every time they even attempt to think about the idea, Er Tai and He Qi would burst out laughing.
Er Kang would never say outright that the idea of marrying He Qi made him deeply uncomfortable, but the way he fell silent any time someone hinted at it spoke volume. He was sure that his younger brother suited the princess and her overly liberal mind much more than he himself. To himself, Er Kang desperately hoped that when it came down to it, the emperor would never just issue a blank order, and would actually give He Qi a choice in the matter.
If they didn't get a choice, well, stressing about it now wouldn't help.
*/*
The whole Cheng house had fallen into darkness, except this one room belonging to Cheng Xiaojie.
Xiao Hu crouched, as still as his namesake, on the brick roof, waiting for the last light in the bride's room to be turned off.
Everyone in the imperial capital knew that the son of Liang Ting Gui was getting married tomorrow to the beautiful Cheng Xiaojie. Xiao Hu had seen the trunks and trunks of wedding gifts being paraded in the main city road from Liang Residence to the Cheng house earlier that day. If he could get his hand on just a corner of a single trunk, everyone at Da Za Yuan would not have to worry about being fed or clothed for the next six months.
Xiao Hu waited for what felt like forever on the roof, before a middle-aged woman walked out of the room and closed the door. She lingered for a moment, dabbing at her eyes, but after a while, even she had to walk away.
That must be Cheng Xiaojie's mother, Xiao Hu thought. If her mother's gone, soon she'll be asleep, and then I can make my move.
But what felt like another eternity later passed, the light still remained lit in Cheng Xiaojie's room.
Impatient, Xiao Hu got down from the roof and poked a hole in the paper covering of the window of Cheng Xiaojie's room.
It would had been fine if he didn't see anything. Now that he had seen the sight of the bride tearfully putting her head into a noose, he couldn't think. He could only act.
He crashed into the room. The bride, perhaps too startled by his sudden appearance, could only stare at him in shock from her precarious position on top of a stool which stood on top of a table, her head still in the silk noose.
Xiao Hu was still acting by instinct, and he grabbed her around the middle and tugged her none-too-gently down. She was already unbalanced, and he was not coherent enough to keep his balance, so in the end, they crashed down onto her bed, Xiao Hu half on top of her.
Cheng Xiaojie still stared at him for another shocked moment. Then, she opened her mouth.
Thankfully, Xiao Hu knew what she was about to do, and clapped his hand over her mouth, silencing her undoubtedly piercing scream.
Not very gracefully, he sat up, but couldn't get too far from her, for he feared if he let go of her, she would start screaming.
"Please, I'm not trying to hurt you," he whispered. "I saw you and had to save you – I don't mean to hurt you. Really. I want to let go, okay? But will you promise me you won't scream if I do?"
Even to his own ears, the plea was ridiculous, so Xiao Hu was more shocked than happy when Cheng Xiaojie, for some unearthly reason, nodded, though her eyes were still wide with fear.
Of course, there was no guarantee she would keep her word, but Xiao Hu somehow felt like he could take this gamble.
He let go of her, then scrambled away from her.
"Who are you?" she gasped, still staring at him.
"I'm – I'm – " he stammered for a moment, then sighed. Whatever. There was no good reason for him to be here, so he might as well tell the truth. He just saved her life. Maybe she'd be softhearted enough to let him go. "I was sneaking in here to steal your wedding money, okay?"
Cheng Xiaojie apparently couldn't grasp the concept of burglary. "What?"
"I was trying to steal your wedding gifts," Xiao Hu repeated, gesturing to the red trunks that were lined neatly in the corner of the room. "I live at this…this home for orphaned children and old people with nowhere to go. Sometimes I have to steal to feed them. That's just the way it is. I was just here to steal some of your silver, not to hurt you or anything. I swear. I know it doesn't mean much…but…Well, anyway, I saw you and…I had to save you."
"Why would you save me?" Cheng Xiaojie cried.
"Because you're trying to kill yourself!" Xiao Hu exclaimed. "I can't see death and not save the person!"
Cheng Xiaojie stared at him for long pause, then her face darkened. "You should have just let me die."
It was now Xiao Hu's turn for shock. "What?"
"You should have just let me die!" the bride cried, this time almost hysterically. "Then I would be released, and no one would stop you stealing whatever you want."
She strode over to the trunks of wedding gifts and threw the lids open.
"Here! Take it! Take whatever you want! Whatever you need! I don't want any of it anyway."
"Why not?"
"What do you mean, why not?"
"Why don't you want it?"
"Because I don't want to marry that stupid Liang boy!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "I don't want this marriage! So just take it! Take it all!"
"If you don't want to marry him, why are you?"
Cheng Xiaojie laughed bitterly. "His father is the most powerful magistrate in the district," she said, looking at Xiao Hu like he was stupid. "Who says no to him?"
"Oh."
Cheng Xiaojie turned away and continued crying. For a long moment, the only sound in the room was of her sniffles.
Xiao Hu didn't know why he was still standing there, staring at her heaving back.
"So…you don't want to marry Liang Ting Gui's son?" he asked gingerly.
"No."
"Do your parents want you to?"
"No. But they don't have a choice, either."
"Oh."
Another pause.
"Maybe…maybe I could help you get out of it," Xiao Hu said.
Cheng Xiaojie whirled around. "What?"
"Well, you'll be covered by a veil, tomorrow, right?"
"Yes."
"So they won't know it's not you under the veil until they get to their home, and take it off?"
"No."
"So...after they've picked up the bride, everyone's attention would be on the procession and the groom's house. No one would be watching this house."
Cheng Xiaojie stared at Xiao Hu. "What's your point?" she asked impatiently.
"Well, what if the person under the veil isn't you?" Xiao Hu asked. "And after they've picked up the bride, you can go wherever you want. Of course, it will eventually come to light that it's not the bride under the veil, but then, all your family has to do is swear they've given you away, and blame the Liangs for losing their daughter. Have a few impartial witnesses that they've seen you made up and ready to go, and everything will be fine."
"But if the person under the veil isn't me, who would it be?" Cheng Xiaojie asked. "I can't ask anyone to impersonate me! I would not condemn my servants to take my place!"
"I can take your place."
"WHAT?"
"I said – "
"I heard what you said!" Cheng Xiaojie exclaimed. She was looking at Xiao Hu like he'd grown another head. "Who are you? Why would you suggest such a thing?"
"I'm trying to help you," Xiao Hu said patiently. "I'm a hero, aren't I?"
"A hero?" Cheng Xiaojie asked, scepticism practically dripping from her voice. Her glance flicked over at the treasures Xiao Hu had admitted he was here to steal.
"Okay. Maybe the stealing isn't so heroic. But I can't not help someone in need. So let me help you."
Cheng Xiaojie was quiet. Then, she asked, "What's your name?"
"Xiao Hu."
"Where do you come from?"
"Nowhere. Everywhere. I'm an orphan. I've been on my own for a long time. I like helping people."
"Even if it means dressing up as a girl?"
Xiao Hu shrugged. "What does that matter? It's not as if anyone will see me. I might not even let Liang lift the veil. He'll probably go out for a few drinks before getting to business anyway. I can sneak out before then."
Cheng Xiaojie looked unconvinced. "I still don't get why you are suggesting this. You want to dress up like me and impersonate me, and take my place, to give me a chance to go free? Just because I say I don't want to marry Liang? What if I'm lying or - "
"Why would you try to kill yourself and lie to a stranger you didn't know would save you?"
"What if you can't get out before he lifts the veil?"
Xiao Hu shrugged. "Then he lifts the veil. So what? That might be more amusing, actually. I could walk out into that party, with all of his friends and his family's friends and his father's political friends and rivals, and I could announce that Liang Ting Gui's son prefers the company of men. Such an arrogant family, wouldn't they love that!"
Cheng Xiaojie giggled, then clapped her hands over her mouth, scandalised, but the reaction was too late. Xiao Hu grinned.
"What about you, though?" she asked. "Wouldn't they think you, too...?"
"So what? Even if I had that preference, I wouldn't be ashamed of it! The Liangs certain would though. Besides, they wouldn't know who I am. They wouldn't care who I am. Haven't you heard the juicy gossip? Ling Ting Gui's son prefers the company of men!"
This time, both of them laughed. But before either of them could say anything else, a voice called from the courtyard.
"Daughter, are you still awake? Why are your lights on? You should get some rest? Who are you talking to? If one of the servants is keeping you up – "
"It's my mother," Cheng Xiaojie hissed. "Quick, hide."
"Where?"
Cheng Xiaojie's eyes darted to the closet. "In there."
"What? I'm not hiding in a closet!" Xiao Hu said, indignant.
"Just long enough so that I explain to her what's going on, and what our plan is."
"Our plan?"
"Yes. Get ready to be the bride tomorrow, Xiao Hu Guniang."
*/*
Zi Wei had never done anything so ridiculous and scandalous in her life. She didn't even know what she was doing, or even why.
And yet, here she was. Sitting on a large basket that held a runaway bride, while soldiers were swarming around her, looking for said bride.
Her heart hammered in her chest. Jin Suo's nails were digging into her arm.
And yet, Zi Wei didn't stand up until the streets had cleared, and everyone around them went about their business as normal again.
And yet, the figure that clambered out of the basket, looking thoroughly disgruntled, was not the bride that Zi Wei thought she saw at the Liang wedding.
It was, in fact, a boy dressed in the bride's clothes.
A very, very annoyed boy.
"I can't believe you sat on my head," he grumbled. "I'm going to be unlucky for the whole year now."
"I – I – you – you're not the bride!" Zi Wei exclaimed incoherently. "You're a boy!"
"I am not a boy!" he answered indignantly. "I'm a man!"
Jin Suo gave an undignified snort of laughter, and Zi Wei couldn't help but smile, either. She knew she should feel unsettled, but somehow there was a warmth and sparkle to the way he was looking curiously at her, even despite his annoyance. The curiosity was, strangely, was more teasing than predatory.
"You're neither, though," he added.
"Neither what?" she asked.
"Neither a boy nor a man," he said. Then, he glanced at Jin Suo, who, just as Zi Wei was, disguised in male clothing. "Nor is she."
Zi Wei reddened and wanted a hole in the ground to open up and swallow her. She knew she should turn away and have this conversation no longer, but she didn't know how to do that without seeming rude.
"Don't worry!" the boy – and Zi Wei really could not call him anything else, especially when he was still in a bride's dress – said with a chuckle. "From far away, it's not too obvious."
Zi Wei had a feeling that he was just saying that to appease her.
"You don't look much like a bride either!" Jin Suo retorted. "Why are you dressed like that anyway? What have you done to the bride?"
"I haven't done anything to the bride," he said nonchalantly. "She didn't want to marry that Liang brat, so I helped her out."
"Helped her, or kidnapped her?" Jin Suo asked in a challenging tone.
He looked affronted. "I would never do that! I really did help her! I came across her trying to kill herself to escape this marriage last night, so of course I have to help her. She's probably a long way away now in a safe place."
"Is there a safe place for her?" Zi Wei asked. "Wouldn't the Liangs know you are helping her? Would they let her family off?"
"We've prepared the skit already," he boasted. "The Chengs will now come to Liang residence to demand their daughter back. They just have to insist that the Liangs lost her, that's all."
"Do you really fear nothing?" Zi Wei exclaimed, aghast. "Are you not afraid of being caught?"
"Am I so easy to catch?" he asked in an offended tone. "You do underestimate me! I, Xiao Hu, am famous for 'coming without a shadow, leaving without a trace', fearing neither heaven nor earth! No one can restrain me!"
"Now that there's no one chasing you anymore, of course you're boasting," Jin Suo chimed in. Then, tugging at Zi Wei's sleeves, she said, "It's nearly dark. We need to go."
Zi Wei turned to the boy who was now Xiao Hu. "You should still be careful."
He grinned. "Don't worry. Nothing will happen to me."
*/*
Fate had a way of bringing unlikely people together. Zi Wei and Xiao Hu would meet again, just a few days later. Their second meeting was just as chaotic and audacious as the first, but by the end of it, Zi Wei couldn't help but be in awe of her new friend, with his bold statements and convictions, with his confidence of where he stood in the world, and his refusal to bow before the misfortunes that life had obviously piled on him.
And yes, despite Jin Suo's worries and frets, by then, Zi Wei couldn't help but feel that they were friends. Zi Wei didn't have many friends. Here, in Beijing, her only confidant was Jin Suo. She knew she should be wary that this Xiao Hu had managed to weave himself into her life, but somehow, she was comforted by him. Jin Suo worried that she was being swept away into an unsavoury romance, but that was the last thing that was on Zi Wei's mind when she thought about Xiao Hu. Zi Wei had never been in love, but she knew the smiles she gave Xiao Hu, and the warmth she felt when speaking to him, was not it. His friendliness to her was just his nature, too.
But whatever the reason, Zi Wei found it almost too easy to agree when Xiao Hu invited her and Jin Suo to come live at Da Za Yuan, on their third meeting. Such an invitation coming from anyone else would be terribly presumptuous and raise all of Zi Wei's red flags, but somehow, from Xiao Hu, it was a natural gesture born of his sincere wish to help her and Jin Suo in their time of need.
Jin Suo, who hovered anxiously by Zi Wei's side throughout her discussion with Xiao Hu about their living situation, a discussion which ultimately led to this invitation, had a different opinion.
"Xiaojie, I really don't think this is wise," she said as they left Da Za Yuan. "And it is not like you to make this sort of bold decision."
"I know," Zi Wei admitted. "I don't know why I feel such kinship with Xiao Hu, either, but I do. But our current living arrangement really is wasting too much money, Jin Suo, money we have less and less of everyday."
"But to live with strangers?"
"It is not as if it is just Liu Qing and Xiao Hu," Zi Wei said, not sure if she was being entirely too eager to defend her decision, and what exactly that meant. "There are all the children and old people too. And we'd be sharing a room with Liu Hong. I am sure it will be fine."
When she said these words, Zi Wei was absolutely convinced of their meanings, though if you asked her to explain it, she was sure she would not be able to. She just knew.
Moving to Da Za Yuan soon led to Xiao Hu and Zi Wei becoming sworn brother and sister, in a ceremony where Xiao Hu merrily claimed to be born on the first day of the eighth month of year Ren Xu, thus was Zi Wei's older brother. Zi Wei found the logic, or lack thereof, entirely too amusing to argue, and she couldn't help but feel that it would be nice, to have an older brother to look out for her and protect her.
So that night, Zi Wei gained a brother, and Xiao Hu gained a sister, along with a surname and a date of birth, in a ceremony that would change their lives forever.
*/*
Three days after they became siblings, Zi Wei accompanied Xiao Hu to the edge of a mountain to gather food and firewood. As was her habit, she carried her mother's painting scroll and fan with her.
"You could have just left those at home," Xiao Hu commented. "I still don't get why they're so precious to you, but I do think they would be safer at home. If you carry them with you everywhere, they could get damaged."
Zi Wei couldn't immediately answer, so she just shrugged. Logically, she knew this, of course. But ever since she left Jinan, she had never allowed the treasures to be far from her. Now, to part with them only managed to make her feel irrational panic. So she carried them everywhere.
They sorted out branches into bundles of firewood for a moment. Xiao Hu, when she did not say anything about her painting and fan, lost interest, and began chattering about an idea he had that they could use the next time they went out to try and earn money by martial art performance instead.
Zi Wei looked at him, so open and cheerful and enthusiastic about everything, so willing to open his world to her and invite her in to share it. Suddenly, she felt a desperate need to tell him her secret. It would be the first time she told anyone, and right now, after so many months of hopelessly searching for a way to approach her father, telling the story would be a relief. It would at least allow her to feel like it might actually be real, and not something she, Zi Wei, made up in the grief of losing her mother.
She sighed and sat down on a large boulder, lowering her basket from her back. Then, looking up at Xiao Hu, she said, "Do you want to know why this painting and fan are so precious to me?"
He looked up from the herbs he was picking, curious. "Why?"
"Let's rest for a while," Zi Wei said, pulling out the cloth bundle that carried the treasure from her basket. "I will tell you."
So they sat down opposite each other, and for a moment, Zi Wei felt as if everything around them, the sun, the clouds, every bird and every blade of grass, was observing her. Waiting.
She didn't know if this was the right thing to do. She didn't know if her mother would approve of this. She just knew, she had been carrying this secret around for so long, that it felt now like a sharp rock, carving into her heart, and if she didn't share the burden, if she didn't tell someone, she would bleed to death.
So Zi Wei told Xiao Hu her mother's story.
"…My father promised that after he returns to Beijing, he will send for my mother within three months. But he didn't keep his promise. I think he probably forgot about her as soon as he returned to Beijing."
"He's a scoundrel!" Xiao Hu cried angrily, jumping up and kicking at the grass at his feet. "A faithful woman and a heartless man, that is the story that never changes!"
Despite her own melancholy born of having told this story, at that moment Zi Wei couldn't help but feel slightly amused. "Aren't you a man too?"
"But I am a great hero!" Xiao Hu boasted. "I would never treat a woman in that way!"
As ridiculous as the boast might be, considering Zi Wei could swear Xiao Hu had never looked at a woman with any romantic intention in his life, she was still sure when it came down to it, he probably would be far more honourable than her own father had proved to be. These past few days of living in close quarters to Xiao Hu had told her that much.
"Why didn't your grandfather look for him?" Xiao Hu demanded.
Zi Wei sighed. "My grandfather had his own damaged pride. He got angry and died of an illness soon after. My grandmother was a traditional woman, and couldn't think of anything to do. She, too, died a few years later. My mother was unmarried and pregnant, so she angered many relatives. She eventually broke off contact with everyone and raised me alone. But she didn't tell me about my background until last year, when she was dying. She asked me to go to Beijing, to find my father."
"Forget it!" Xiao Hu yelled. "Why would you look for such a father? If he had any decency, he wouldn't have left her to live her whole life in dishonour. It's been eighteen years! He had never cared or asked after you or your mother. So what if he writes a nice poem or draws a nice painting? Just accept it, you can't forgive this kind of father! You don't have to look for him anymore. He doesn't exist!"
"But my mother loved him her whole life," Zi Wei said, though she knew every word Xiao Hu said had logic, as painful as they all were. "Her last wish was that I find my father and ask him if he remembers Xia Yu He of Daming lake."
"Of course he doesn't remember!" Xiao Hu said. "If he remembered, he would have retuned."
He turned around, huffed and stomped angrily like a buffalo. Then, as sudden as his anger came, he seemed to deflate. Turning back to her, Xiao Hu's expression was one of extreme sorrow.
"I never thought that your situation would be as pitiful as mine," he said softly. "It turns out, your surname comes from your mother? You probably aren't even sure what your father's name is."
Zi Wei hesitated. Should she do this? Should she reveal this to someone who, regardless of their swearing in ceremony, was a near stranger?
But then she had gone this far. What was the difference?
"No. I know his name. His surname is Ai Xin Jue Luo."
"What?" Xiao Hu exclaimed with wide eyes. "Ai Xin Jue Luo? He's Manchurian? He's related to royalty? Is he a qinwang or a beile?"
Zi Wei took a deep breath and held up the painting scroll, pointing to the signature. "Do you know what these two words, Bao Li, refer to? Bao refers to Bao Qin Wang, Li refers to Hong Li. Our current emperor's name is Hong Li, and before ascending to the throne, he held the title Bao Qin Wang."
"What?" Xiao Hu snatched the painting from Zi Wei, so violently that she was afraid it would tear. He held it close to his eyes, as if that would somehow change what was on it.
"If my mother's story is correct, then my father…my father is the current emperor," Zi Wei said.
The shock was too much for Xiao Hu. He stared at her, and dropped the painting in his hands.
Zi Wei scrambled to pick it up off the ground and brushed the dust and dirt from it. "Be careful! Don't ruin it!"
"OH MY GOD!" Xiao Hu cried, loud enough that it startled the birds out of the trees and the sound echoed off the mountainsides. "I became sworn brother to a princess!"
"Please don't be so loud!" Zi Wei exclaimed, grabbing his wrist. "Someone might hear!"
Xiao Hu only looked at her, dazed. "This father of yours…is just too influential. So, when you went to look for Liang Daren, it's because you wanted to meet Huang Shang?"
Zi Wei nodded. "Then I realised that he wasn't reliable, so I stopped looking for him."
"But now…now you don't have any plan. You're like a headless fly. How could you meet him? How could you enter the palace."
Zi Wei sighed. "You are right. I'm all out of ideas now, and I don't know what to do."
A curious expression came over Xiao Hu. "If you can't get into the palace…you could wait until the emperor comes out. Next month, he's going to go hunting at Xi Shan Hunting Ground."
*/*
It was a clear spring day, perfect for a hunt. He Qi was elated as she urged her horse so that they were level with Er Tai, and threw him a wide smile, which he returned good-naturedly. Everything about this moment thrilled her heart, from the rhythm of her horse's hooves beneath her, to the sound of the imperial flags flapping in the wind.
"Show me the best of your abilities!" Huang Ah Ma was saying ahead. "Today, there will be great reward for the best hunter!"
"Yes! Huang Shang! In that case, I won't be courteous!" Er Kang said.
"Who told you to be courteous?" the emperor asked, laughing. "Show me what you are made of!"
"Brother, you will definitely lose to me!" Er Tai said.
"You two great young masters, don't think just because I am a girl, I will stand by and let you win all the prizes!" He Qi said, smiling sweetly at the Fu brothers. "After all, it was Huang Ah Ma himself who taught me to ride and shoot, I cannot embarrass him."
With that, she urged her horse forward, Er Kang and Er Tai following closely.
Behind them, Fu Lun called, "Er Kang, Er Tai! Be careful and protect Wu Ge Ge!"
By the time he had finished, the three had already shot away and did not hear the next words in the conversation between the emperor and Fu Lun.
"Fu Lun, you worry too much. That daughter of mine is far too used to the pace of hunting expeditions. She should be, since I had the unwise idea years ago of assuring her she can do anything her brothers can. She will be fine. This is the hunting ground. There is no use for rank, only what one can achieve. Whoever wins is the hero. She can certainly keep up with those sons of yours, anyway."
"Huang Shang is too generous," Fu Lun said. "How can my inferior sons compare to Huang Shang's princess who is as peerless as gold?"
"I really like your two sons," Qian Long said. "If I do not, I would not bring them everywhere with me. In the future, there is definitely a place for one of them in the family. But for now, you must not worry so much. Just let them compete. With He Qi's competitiveness, she would not easily let the other two win."
*/*
They chased the deer into a tree grove, where, tired, its speed started to falter. Er Kang was slightly quicker and was already raising his bow.
"Ge Ge, forgive me for taking the shot first!"
"Brother!" Er Tai called. "Look! Over there is a bear! I thought there are no bears left in this hunting ground. This bear is definitely mine!"
"Bear? Where's the bear?"
Of course, He Qi was all too aware that Er Tai was distracting his brother for her sake. Coming from anyone else, she would not take this condescension and implied snub of her ability so meekly. With the Fu brothers, however, it was all a different game; they both knew, in a fair competition, she had as good a chance of winning as either of them. In this hunt, however, she and Er Tai would have far too much fun later, lording this victory over Er Kang, even if they did cheat outright. Thankfully, Er Kang would be good natured enough to take the teasing.
The glee that He Qi felt, letting the arrow rip through the air, was replaced almost instantly with panic when there was a human cry of pain, and the sound of something falling through the bushes.
The three of them rushed their horses forward, and found him lying there, arrow in his chest, weakly trying to speak.
What followed seem to He Qi almost like to a dream. The young man with her arrow stuck in his chest called for Huang Ah Ma. Er Kang and Er Tai spent much too long debating on where he came from and whether it was safe to bring him near the emperor, before He Qi put her foot down. Maybe it was her guilt taking over, but she all but ordered Er Kang and Er Tai to lift the injured man on Er Kang's horse, and together they took him to where the emperor was.
There were too many people, He Qi was standing too far away and her ears were still ringing with his cry of pain, but he managed to mumble something about Daming Lake before passing out entirely. For reasons she could not understand, her father went deathly white at the sight of the young man, his words, and the fan and painting he carried in a bundle tied around his torso. The next thing anyone knew, they were all rushing back to the palace and Huang Ah Ma had ordered the stranger to be taken to Yang Xin Dian, assigned his personal eunuch to wait on the mysterious lad, and threatened all the physicians the loss of their heads if they could not save him.
None of it made any sense, not that He Qi had the energy to even think about her father's strange behaviour. The only thing she could think of was how she was the one who nearly killed him.