A/N: This is a one shot, in the universe of Maybe Someday. I just got the idea into my head that I should write a reflective piece about Hunter, so here it is! I hope you enjoy it! ^_^ Blessed be, Chero

Reflections

By Honour Nature

I creep out of bed, careful not to wake Cam, who is sleeping peacefully beside me. It is weird how close we've gotten, when usually I don't trust someone that simply, that easily, but Cam's different. Well, that and being rangers, having to depend on each other for our lives helped the trust issues I have. I do have issues; so many, that I'm not quite sure why Cam puts up with me.

I lean against the wall and look out the window, watching the moon make its track through the night's sky. This is my thinking time, 3 in the morning, and I usually have one of them at least every week. Cam woke up the first time, but now, even if he did awaken, he would pretend to be asleep, for me.

I think about Mom and Dad, and how much they meant to me, still mean to me. I think about Blake, who's the most important person in my life, along with Cam. And Cam. Cam who's sarcastic and smart and everything that I wanted so badly but didn't think I deserved. I think my little bro was right when he said I was "dark and broody".

I also think about Jake, and what happened with him. The group therapy has definitely been helping, but I'm still uncomfortable with too much touching, even with Cam. We're taking it really slowly. Apparently, I'm downright normal for someone who's an incest vic—survivor. I have to keep remembering that I beat Jake, beat the odds, but sometimes I slip back into the victim mentality. Uh-oh, there's a problem when I start to sound like a psychologist.

I've been seeing one of those too; a counselor who specializes in sexual abuse. So far he's been very helpful too, and he encourages me to keep things steady in my life. That too much stress isn't good for anyone. Too bad he doesn't know that little tidbit about me being a power ranger, because then I think he would change his opinion on what a normal stress level is for me in particular.

I trace the outline of the circles that were all over the wallpaper of my bedroom. Circles are funny things. They seem to represent a lot in our world. The circle of life, fate, love, time. It seems to go on and on, but the funny thing about it is that it's true. Everything does seem to come around in a circle, and then there are the circles that overlap. Like Jake. Jake, who raped me, raped Tori's friend Jenny, tried to rape Shane. Now he's never going to hurt anyone again, and I can't help but feel loathing for him, a loathing so intense that it sometimes scares me.

There are times when I pity him, but they are few and far between. Jake's not empty, not at all, but filled with a vicious sort of poison that spills over onto everyone else he knows. Sometimes I wonder, was he ever not that way; not spiteful and cruel, but a normal kid? Somehow I think he was, but something must have happened, and there's the thing with the circle again. My counselor says that most perpetrators of abuse were once victims. Was Jake ever a victim?

I think he was, to have that much hate in him, because I know how it feels to want to destroy something, anything, just to make the pain stop, if only for a few minutes. Who was it who hurt the one who hurt Jake who hurt me who hurt Jenny, etcetera? I think that for the rest of my life I'll wonder that.

Will I ever get over what happened to me? No. I will never get over it, but I will get past it. And every day it'll get a little easier to deal with. I dread when I'll get more memories, but that means I can deal with them, file them away, and forget for a moment.

I look back at Cam, his face pale, beautiful in the moonlight. He's healed a part of my heart, my soul, that I think no one else could ever reach if they tried. He fills a part of me, as if we were puzzle pieces, just waiting to find our mate.

I slip silently back over to the bed, and look at him for a moment more, at how peaceful he looks, and I know that I'll have peace, if only for the night, because he's next to me, and as I slip my arm over his waist I realize that that's all that matters.