He enters me again and I moan his name in ecstasy. His green eyes stare into mine, filled with lust as I grip his shoulders.
"N..." I moan as we rock against each other. "I'm... gonna..." I scream as I cum and fall back against the pillows, panting heavily.
His eyes close briefly and he's done too. He lies against me, kisses my hair and tells me how good our sex was, but I don't hear him. My thoughts are twenty thousand miles away.
This is wrong
I should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I Can't Stay Away
Roses bloom
In your dirty room
I was a virgin when I met N Harmonia. He'd been after White for a long time now and the two were always meeting secretly. I used to think it was romantic, but now I think it's disgusting. She couldn't make it to one of their meetings one day, so she'd sent me, faithful best friend forever; to find him.
I'd found him, alright. Found him in the trailer in Lostlorn Forest. He'd won me over in a few swift moves, smothered my stammered "I have a boyfriend!" protests with kisses on my neck.
That had been six months ago. No matter how hard I try, I always end up lying here on my back with him on top of me. Cheren and White still don't know. I doubt they ever will.
I come to play
'Cause I Can't Stay Away
No I Can't Stay Away-ay
I'm here at odd hours, but he's always awake. Waiting for me. There's no hello, no goodbye. There's no conversation until after the sex; which is funny considering we're both lying, cheating assholes. Cheren said he'd never touch me until we'd been in a relationship for a full year. I'd agreed to those terms happily.
Now I go behind his back with the one man he hates more than Ghetsis. His son. Every fibre of my mind screams that I shouldn't be here, but I can't leave. I don't want to leave.
I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I Can't Stay Away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I Can't Stay A- I Can't Stay Away
No I Can't Stay A- I Can't Stay Away
I eventually leave and return to my house, spraying myself with perfume the whole way. Why do I keep going back to N? If White and Cheren found out... this would crush them. I'd break both their hearts. As I walk in, I smell Gardenias. My favourite flowers! I sniff appreciatively and Cheren smiles at me from near it. This is a first...
"Hey," I say, trying my hardest to not to avert my eyes. "How are you, baby?"
"I'm superb, love. Do you know what tonight is?" He asks, an unfamiliar gleam in his eyes.
"Um... A full moon?" I ask, completely clueless. He laughs gently at me and steers me to the stairs.
"Playing forgetful, are we?" he seems to think I remember. "It's our one year anniversary, Bianca. Our night," he whispers against my cheek, kissing it.
Oh, shit.
I was numb
For you I come
He carefully takes off my clothes and I mechanically take off his. He kisses me gently and lays me onto the bed. I haven't giggled once or even smiled and he's obviously noticed.
"I know you're nervous, Binks. It's understandable. I certainly am, too," he says sincerely as he lies on top of me.
"But I promise you that I know what to do. I won't hurt you." I smile falsely at him and kiss him as he places the condom onto his penis. Once upon a time, I wanted this so much. What happened? I get my answer as Cheren swiftly thrusts into me.
N happened.
Night and day
And I Can't Stay Away
No I Can't Stay Away
I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I Can't Stay Away
Can't stay away
I force myself to moan as Cheren continues. I even fake smile so I don't hurt him. The longer I look into those dark eyes, the more they look green. The more that hand strokes my hair, the rougher that hand feels against it. The more that he kisses me while thrusting, the hungrier those kisses feel to me.
This doesn't feel right at all.
After an eternity, we're finished. He whispers that he loves me and falls asleep. I feel like a monster but tell him I love him too. As soon as he's asleep, I'm quietly shutting the door behind me. I wonder if I'll be back in time for him to wake up.
I wonder how much longer I'm going to have to live like this.
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I Can't Stay A- I Can't Stay Away
No I Can't Stay A- I Can't Stay Away
Everyone says that cheating's wrong, but how many of those people have done it before? How many of those people know how hard it is to stop? I feel so dirty but so right at the same times as N pins me for the second time in twenty-four hours. I love his touch on my skin. I love the way he nibbles my skin and kisses me so passionately. It makes me so alive. I realize now that Cheren will never have this effect on me and I hate myself for it.
I wish I could
Leave and never return
Baby, I know I should
But for you I'd burn
As much as I want to never come back, I know it'll never happen. Even when we're both married and have kids, we'll still be having sex while our partners think we're at the PokéMart. I don't love Cheren anymore, but I can't just leave him. I don't think N even loved White to begin with. Staring into each other's eyes, it's obvious who our hearts belong to.
But we'll never get to be together outside these rendezvous.
Stay away
'Cause I Can't Stay Away-ay
I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I Can't Stay Away
His arms wrap around me and I stare into his eyes with a sad smile.
"How long until we have to tell them?" I ask. He smiles sadly back at me and strokes my hair.
"I don't know... I never expected this to happen."
"Neither... I thought it'd be one time, not twenty million times."
"...Exactly." we look into opposite directions, both knowing what he really meant but both being too wimpy to admit it.
How do you tell the one you're cheating with that you love them, not your partner?
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I Can't Stay A- I Can't Stay Away
No I Can't Stay A- I Can't Stay Away
I Can't Stay Away
I Can't Stay Away
I Can't Stay Away
I Can't Stay Away