I've no excuses for this. None whatsoever. Just needed to get this out of my system, however it came out. And it was kind of fun to write. Maybe.

...

Just for Emphasis

"Someone who'll listen to me," Sakura says. "And sometimes even that's too much to ask, it seems."

Naruto nods absently, leaning out of his seat to look at something behind Sakura. His eyes take an exceedingly long amount of time to roam over the back of a dress, over the red material wrapped sinfully tight around a lithe body. The dress is cut short, really short, nearly revealing too much of the woman's upper thighs, so much skin that it leaves so very little to the imagination.

Sakura growls a little underneath her breath, grabbing Naruto's ear and inadvertently saving him from falling out of the chair while yanking him back into the conversation.

"Stop making an idiot of yourself."

"I can't help it if she's hot," Naruto whines, rubbing the ear Sakura finally let go of. "And would you stop with the whole ear-pulling thing? You've only done that what—three times already."

"Yeah, next time I'll just let you fall on floor—do you really have to be so embarrassing?"

"About what?" Naruto says, raising a middle finger to Sasuke's affirmative grunt. "If a girl's dressed like that, how can you expect a guy not to look?"

"You didn't have to ogle her like a piece of meat. There's more to women than how they look."

Wriggling his eyebrows, Naruto nudges Sasuke with his elbow. "Yeah, but isn't that the best part?"

"Don't get me involved in this," Sasuke says, shoving Naruto out of his personal space without spilling the can of beer in his hand.

"This is your uncle's doing, isn't it?" Sakura says. She sighs. "What happened to that swee—er, naive little boy I used to know?"

"I wasn't that little," Naruto mumbles.

Sasuke snorts.

"Like you can talk," Naruto says. He grins. "How tall are you again?"

Sasuke concedes with a grunt but raises an eyebrow. "Want to see where it really counts?"

Naruto's grin turns feral. "Only if you have something to prove."

"Okay, save the platonic flirting for another time," Sakura says. "I'm being serious. It can't be all about someone's appearance. There are more important things than that. Like traits. In the long-run traits have to count more than looks, right?"

"Yeah." Naruto snorts. "Says the one who keeps checking out that guy in the booth over there."

"Shut up," Sakura hisses. "Just shut. Up. And if you really don't want your face to meet the surface of this table, for the sake of your own self-preservation, stop looking over there before he looks back."

"I bet you want to take him to the apartment, too, don't you?" Naruto leers at Sakura. "Don't worry, me and Sasuke can find something to do while you're busy."

"No more talking, Naruto. Ever." Sakura turns pleading eyes to Sasuke. "Do something with him."

"Not my type." Paying no attention to Naruto's protest of being too greedy of a person to ever have a type, Sasuke makes a gesture far, far less subtle than what he's capable of towards the guy sitting at the booth. "But sure, I'd tap that."

Sakura blanches then blushes, complexion stuck somewhere in between pink and pale when the guy looks in her direction. She forces a shy smile at the guy, remembers to breathe when he returns the smile then looks away. "Between the two of you, I can't—ugh—why did you make him look over here?"

"If the lost cause even agrees," Naruto says, pointing at Sasuke with his thumb, "the guy can't be all that bad. Not that I'm into that kind of stuff." He looks to Sasuke. "No offence."

Sasuke shrugs.

"Now, if you see a girl you like, I can give you tips there. Not the girl in red, though. The kind of traits I look for? Yeah, she had all those and then some." Naruto holds out his hands in front of him and starts to trace an invisible silhouette. "I'm talking curves out to here, with the really wide hips you can hold, you know, that you can fit your hands over and just—"

Sasuke's lips curl into a disgusted scowl at the drool gathering at the corner of Naruto's mouth, and Sakura slams Naruto's head on the table. Once. Twice. Maybe a few more times than she probably should.

Finally, when Sakura allows Naruto's face to begin the healing process, she says, "Like I said, what kind of traits—personality traits—do you look for? We're getting to that age where we should start thinking about settling down."

"What age?" Naruto says, lifting his head from the table and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm 22." He puffs out his chest. "I'm still in my prime."

"October's just around the corner," Sasuke says.

"Soon enough," Sakura adds, "you'll be old just like us."

Naruto shakes his head, feigning a disappointment that's ruined by the smile he can't hide. "Nah, I know I won't be that bitter."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "Anyway, what about you, Sasuke? What kind of traits do you look for in a guy?"

Naruto waves a finger at Sakura. "I keep telling you. Sasuke doesn't have a type."

"Despite what you want to believe, not all guys have to be so crude like you."

"I'm just saying."

"Sasuke?"

"A hole is a hole," Sasuke says, ridiculously nonchalant as he takes a sip of his beer.

Naruto starts to snicker, shaking with his shoulders bunched together. No longer able to hold it in, he lets loose with a full-blown laughter.

"Well, a dick isn't a dick!" Sakura splutters, reaching for an obnoxious, guffawing Naruto and slamming his head on the table again, then again, and again—ignoring his cries in between of what the hell and why me and damn it, I didn't even do anything this time—because hitting Sasuke is still something she just doesn't do. "You…dick."

Removing her palm from the back of Naruto's head, Sakura takes a deep breath and stands. She pats down her skirt and straightens her shirt, glancing behind her to eye the guy sitting at the booth. Pushing her hair out of her face, she sends him a smile that's anything but shy, the sultry kind of promising smile that wreaks havoc on a guy's imagination and even leaves Naruto quivering a little in the knees at the small glimpse he does manage to catch.

She turns back to Naruto and Sasuke, looking far too pleased with Naruto's expression. "Don't wait up for me, okay."

"So," Naruto says, watching Sakura walk away. He turns to Sasuke. "Guess it's you and me tonight, huh?"

Sasuke smirks and puts down his empty can of beer. "You wish." He stands, garnering the attention of more than just a few pairs of wandering eyes following him as he leaves the table.

"Smug bastard," Naruto mutters, but a dejected sigh is quickly replaced with a self-satisfied grin when he sees the lady in red coming his way, watching him with a playful kind of look that almost reminds him of Sakura. "Then again, having the place to myself isn't always a bad thing."