Disclaimer: Any and all references to Harry Potter belong only to the muse, responsible for nine out of the ten top grossing films. (If you can guess the reference there you probably know that I don't own that one either) Oh, yeah, I don't own Pinky and the Brain either.
A/N: Okay, I know, update, but I had this thing get into my head and I couldn't get it out. I know it's been done, but mine is slightly different.
Harry:
God, why did you pick me? I can't do it, okay? Everyone talks about it like it's some great honor, but it isn't. My parents are dead, my godfather is dead, my mentor is dead, and hundreds I don't know have gone with them. I can't be perfect, alright? I don't know how and everyone refuses to tell me. My only wish is that when I die, I want Voldemort to come down with me. Oh, and whatever you do don't trust him. Let's just say that he isn't the greatest guy to have in your great kingdom of goodness or whatever. Dammit, now I'm rambling to someone who probably wants me burned for witchcraft or something. IT'S NOT GONNA WORK! Oh what the hell, I'll just go to bed now.
Ron:
Uh… never really done much of this before. Um… yeah. Just, keep me alive, okay? Oh, and if Hermione dies put in a good word for me alright? Cuz if she dies I've got no chance of living. Bloody know-it-all.
Hermione:
Our Father, who art in heaven,… Ah screw it. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I need a favor. Don't look at me like that you owe me one. Why do you think the savior of the wizarding world hasn't died of stupidity yet? No, don't tell me Voldemort brought it upon himself, I know you want a man who split his soul for immortality in hell ASAP and Harry is the only one to do it. Anyhow, if you could just stop him from dying until then that would be great since he's the luckiest one and that's what it'll take. Well… bye then
Petunia:
Dear Heavenly Father, please make the freak get out of our house. He most definitely is not my neighbor and never was so technically you have no reason to be angry about it. He comes home with all his freakishness and scares poor Dudders and I can't stand it. So if you could just strike him down I would be very happy. Amen.
Fred and George:
Dear Jesus…
…send money…
…class C non-tradable items…
…or a way to breed pygmy puffs faster.
Percy:
Let me do well at my job and make the new minister proud. I would also like a new blue sweater. Mum has sent one and I was stupid enough to send it back. How I miss them.
Molly:
Let Percy come home and my other children live through the war. Also, my husband. Let him live, too.
Sirius:
God, let our next prank work and… Wait, I'm already dead. My bad…
Snape:
God, grant me luck in my next class and don't let Longbottom melt any more cauldrons. Is that your idea of a sick joke?
Voldemort:
What are we going to do today, Naigini?
The ssame thing we do every day, sstupid, try to take over the world.