Disclaimer: Intelligent Systems owns the Fire Emblem Series. Not me, Capiche?

Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword

Why Can't It End Some Other Way?

One clear day, at a camp set up in the Nation of Bern, a restless thief contemplates over his emotions. The perfect opportunity to ease his grief was presented to him some time ago, yet even to this moment, he finds himself thinking through his next course of action.

"That… damned Jaffar. For everything he has done… for all the pain he caused me for taking Leila's life… I… I want to avenge her… I have to kill that bastard! But… would it really help ease my suffering? And has that man truly reformed himself? I---"

"Yoo hoo! Matthew!!!" A shrill voice cried from the distance.

The brown-haired thief, apparently named Matthew, slapped his head in disgust.

"Bloody Hell, it's her…" he growled under his breath.

The source of the shrill voice revealed herself to be a young woman in white priestly robes and pink hair in pigtails. Most of the camp know her simply as Serra.

"Naughty Matthew! How dare you run away from me without considering my social needs?" Serra scolded.

Matthew sighed. "Serra? Didn't you read the note I left at the tent? I wanted some alone time alone for today… because I'm trying to clear my head. I generally don't like being emo around people, so if you could please give me some space---"

"Nonsense!" Serra scoffed. "I was in the mood to talk to Erk at first, but since that man is off prancing around with his beloved "Priscilla", you happen to be next on the list, so hush! You know my position happens to be far more important than your little spy games, so you'll have to do as a temporary vassal until Lord Hector finally comes to his senses!"

"Honestly, Serra, I'm in a bad mood today, so I'd rather not be bothered by the likes of you. Unless you'd prefer I take it out on you, instead…" he threatened suddenly.

"Ha! Ha Ha! Matthew, you and your silly little sense of humor! I know you could NEVER really be so angry at me like that! It's that wry wit of yours that I really like about you, you know?" Serra giggled. "Anyway, I know it's strange, but last night, I had this really strange dream about pink kittens. Now you must be wondering, why in St. Elimine's name is my Lady Serra dreaming about pink kittens?! Well, it's a funny story, you see---"

"Why can't this girl learn to shut up? Even when I clearly point out my need for "Alone Time", she comes to bother me anyway. Is she THAT dense? Honestly, it's like my suffering is her necessarily sustenance for her." Matthew thought to himself in agitation.

"---Well, now all I can think about nowadays is how cute it would be for pink kittens to exist in real life! Oh, how great it would be to snuggle one in my very grasp! Don't you think? Matthew? Matthew! Hey, Matthew! Where are you going?!" Serra shouted.

"…To be alone." Matthew blatantly stated. "Seriously, leave a shadow alone every once in awhile, will you?"

"But a shadow can't exist without a body to form it, right?" Serra refuted playfully. "Now stop being silly and get back here right away!"

Matthew sighed again.

"No. Go Away."

For some reason, Serra formed a sickening smile with her lips.

"Oh, I see how it is." Serra uttered solemnly.

She then placed an arm on her forehead and appeared to be filled with woe.

"Alas, after being so long in the company of a beautiful maiden, the once free-spirited companion find himself entrapped by her irresistible charms, yet he forces himself to push her back to preserve her sacred chastity! Oh, curse this flawless beauty and for bringing lust upon this poor soul!" she cried dramatically.

Matthew stared at her in disbelief.

"…Okay. I'm still trying to get over the death of my dear friend Leila, the dirty bastard that killed her just joined our company, and while you've pestered me many times over without realizing it, you arrived at THAT conclusion? ARE YOU INSANE?" he shouted ruthlessly at the loquacious priestess.

Serra huffed up a storm.

"Hmph! Fine, if you're going to be so insensitive, then I'm leaving! There's no point in a servant of St. Elimine such as myself to take such abuse!" she said as she turned around.

"Finally!" Matthew thought to himself in relief.

"Of course…" Serra continued, "if I find myself in need of your services for any reason despite your little outburst, I WILL be back, and I expect your cooperation!"

After sticking her nose disdainfully in the air, the frustrated Serra finally made her departure.

Again, Matthew slapped his head.

"Oh, Bloody Hell. That pest of a priestess just doesn't know how to leave me alone, does she? Just how far deep is her sadism? And who is this Dark God that allows her to torture me day in and day out? That's it! I have to find someone to distract her attention! Blast… Erk's relationship with Priscilla acts as the perfect anti-Serra shield. But ho, what is this? If I remember correctly, that Green-armored Caelin knight always resorts to trying to win over Serra whenever he is rejected by another woman, and that feminine Monk seems to have good relations with her. Perhaps there is a way to escape this living Hell… " Matthew contemplated.

And so, with his new preoccupation in mind, Matthew the Thief sets off to rendezvous with a flirtatious cavalier in green…