A/N: I wrote this with my sis on the same night as Game of Why, so yes, we were still sugar high.
Team 7's Laser Pointer Adventure
Setting: Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke are in a dimly lit room when the Authoress shows up. The Authoress has a laser pointer in her posession. The Authoress is veeerrrrrry bored. Get where I'm going with this?
Sasuke slouches on a plastic chair in a dimly lit room which has no windows or doors. Sasuke is bored. Extremely bored. Ridiculously bored. Naruto and Sakura are sitting on seperate chairs across the room from both Sasuke and each other. They are bored too.
"Hey," says Naruto, "Why don't we play a game?"
Sakura and Sasuke look blankly at him, and he pulls a small laser pointer out of thin air.
Sakura perks up a bit, "Where did you get that?" She asks him.
"The Authoress." He states bluntly, fiddling with it.
Smoke seeps up through the floor, wisps of it curling up to create a creepy/cool atmosphere.
"Do you want to know how to play the game?" Says a random girl with shortish, neopolitan colored hair and a rainbow colored, leopard print jacket.
Naruto and Sakura nod.
"Who are you? And how did you get in here without any doors or windows?" asks Sasuke, who seems to be the inteligent one at this point.
The girl shrugs, "I'm the Authoress. I made a skylight." She points at the ceiling, and the three ninjas look up to see a small hole in the ceiling, through which they can see a whiteness with words they can't read. Because the words are in English, and they only know Japanese.
Annoyed by how long the ninjas are taking looking at her skylight, the Authoress snaps her fingers and makes it disappear, returning the attention to herself. "Do you want to know how to play or not?" She says angrily.
The teenage ninjas all nod this time.
"Great! So, one of you..." She trails off, transfixed by the light from the laser pointer that is dancing at her feet.
Naruto laughs, pointing the laser onto the girl's face. She blinks confusedly, then stretches out her hand and pulls the pointer from Naruto's grasp, halfway across the room. "Bad ninja!" She yells, and a frying pan apperars out of thin air and starts beating Naruto over the head, completely unattended.
"So," she says, making eye contact with the other two teens, "One of you holds the laser pointer and waves it around on the wall and floor for the other two to chase. Like so."
The frying pan abruptly vanishes, and she points the laser at the floor in front of Naruto, who shrinks until he's a kawaii little kid sitting cutely on the floor. He lurches towards the dot, and when it moves to the wall behind him, he spins around to locate it.
Then the dot moves towards Sakura, who randomly becomes anthro and wags her cute little tail. When the dot gets close to her, she yips and pounces on it, looking confused when it suddenly shows up next to her.
Sasuke looks bored and emo when the Authoress turns to him, "Sasuke, you have the honor of being the one to hold the laser pointer."
Said pointer randomly appears in his hand, and the girl vanishes with a loud crack like a car backfiring.
Still bored and emo, Sasuke points the laser at the wall near Sakura and watches her chase it. "The dog." He mutters to himself before switching to point at Naruto. "The two year old."
Finding himself still bored, he whips the pointer to shine at Sakura, "The dog." He says, loud enough for his teammates to hear.
"Hey!" Yips Sakura, growling quietly as Sasuke points at Naruto.
"The two year old." He says, watching Naruto hyperactively chase the tiny dot for a moment before his brain registers what Sasuke said.
"Hey!" He yells indignantly, but Sasuke has already turned his pointer back to Sakura.
"The-"
Naruto sees a chance to annoy the pink haired girl here, and injects a word of his own. "Ugly"
"-Dog." Sasuke finishes his sentence, looking at Naruto confusedly while Sakura snarls unrestrainedly at the blond ninja toddler.
With a bored, somehow emo shrug, Sasuke turn the pointer on Naruto again. "The-"
And Sakura takes the chance for revenge, "Stupid"
"-Two year old." Sasuke looks at Sakura perplexedly, and then a CFL bulb (because we should all try to be more energy efficient) goes on above his head as he realizes what they're up to.
He turns the laser on Sakura again, this time leaving a long pause. "The..."
Naruto grins as evilly as a two year old can. "Freakishly strong"
"... Dog" Sasuke finishes, while Sakura snarls obsceinities at Naruto under her breath.
The pointer swings across the wall to Naruto, "The..."
Sakura snarls another obscenity, "Never going to become Hokage"
"... Two year old." Before swinging the pointer around to Naruto again, he looks imploringly at the Authoress who has been standing in the corner this whole time, because who can resist something as funny as this?
She nods, pulling a couple red and white balls, a pair of white gloves with red lines drawn on the back, and a bag shaped like a pig head before finding what she's looking for, a piece of wood. She waves it at the two pissed off ninjas and mutters something in Spanish that makes them shut up.
Sasuke nods his thanks, and points the laser at Sakura, who mutely pounces on it. "The freaky strong ugly dog," he says, and before she can leap at him, he points the laser at Naruto. "And the stupid, never going to become Hokage two year old."
The Authoress bites her tongue and lets Naruto and Sakura speak again, turning them back to their normal forms at the same time. "Now if you'll excuse me," she says, gathering the random stuff back into her pockets, "I have some Crack back home to get started on."
A door randomly appears, which disappears immediately after she exits.
The three teens look after her for a moment, then back at each other. Naruto yells something incoherent with a lot of obscenities, and lunges at Sakura, who responds in kind. Sasuke looks at his fighting teammates, and turns his back on them, tossing the laser pointer over his shoulder and walking boredly towards the door that the Authoress has opened for him. "I'm outta here."
Oh noes! I forgot to do a disclaimer!
The world as we know it will end because nobody
knows I do not own these ninjas!
*bows down to invisible author person*
I AM SORRRYYYYYY! I DO NOT OWN NARUTOOOOOOOOOOO!
I also do not own anything else you may recognize, except for the Authoress and her pwnsomely cool jacket. And her coolly matching hairdo.
A/N: Hey! Bonus points to anyone who can name the inspiration for this story!